Anxiety / Managing Stress - particularly those with autism / aspergers

[MargoLovebutter]

This cuts across various threads on mental health, additional needs, further education and so on, so I thought I'd stick it in chat.

DS has just completed his first year at uni. He is autistic (diagnosed from 7) and severely dyslexic too, with a host of specific learning difficulties and has DSA in place at uni for the dyslexia/learning difficulties and the autism.

However, whilst he gets access to a bit of extra cash for tech to support with the dyslexia and extra exam time and lecture notes, there seems to me to be bugger all in place for his autism.

So, I have two questions. Firstly, what do people do to manage anxiety and stress - generally, but particularly those with autism? One of DS's biggest autistic issues is his inability to deal with stress and severe anxiety issues. Stress renders him completely paralysed by anxiety and he becomes totally unable to make decisions and get past the anxiety to deal with the actual situation. He makes life 100 times more difficult than it needs to be in these situations and gets so angry and frustrated with himself and then self-isolates and I have no clue how to help.

Secondly, how can he get better support from his uni for the issues that his autism throws up - like chronic anxiety? He is really bad at articulating his difficulties, because he has very little self-insight.

I really want to use the long summer holidays to try and work with him to get better strategies in place for next year, so that when the pressure piles on in his final year, he doesn't completely self-combust! I also think that he needs to learn coping strategies and techniques for the anxiety because life is going to throw all sorts of shit his way, like it does to all of us.

All thoughts and input very gratefully received.

Sorry I don't have any answers but I am interested to see if anyone does. My Ds is 15 and currently being assessed for ASD. He has awful anxiety especially around education. His school have just started working with him and offering some strategies. Most of the strategies are to go and find a TA, which he won't do as he finds it impossible to approach anyone for support. Unfortunately at the moment we can't see Ds being able to cope with going away to uni. I can relate to what you say about making life far harder than it needs to be.

How much support does he get at uni? It sounds like he could do with more, not sure about how he goes about getting it, if he's willing to do so. I know it's difficult because they only deal with the students not parents. Having briefly looked at uni support for the future it doesn't seem there is much available for those with ASD although I have only looked on websites.

I do hope someone with more experience will come along with some good advice for you and your Ds.

I have ASD children, although younger than yours.
Have you looked at Mindfulness techniques? My DS found them helpful at times. Also local support groups where they can meet like minded people and get support.
Also thinking along the lines of social stories, sometimes the unknown and times of uncertainty can cause anxiety, so mapping out the day/week etc so that they know what to expect and exactly what is happening on what day and in what order can help. Sometimes this can be written, sometimes visual such as pictures.

keepingbees he has various mindfulness and meditation apps on his phone and they all work really well, when he isn't stressed! When he is stressed he is literally frozen and trapped in this awful cycle of panic stricken anxiety, which usually involves him having a massive meltdown on the phone to me, after days of anxiety. He then gets really angry with all the suggestions I make and will remain frozen for days, sometimes longer until something else happens and either there is a period of relief for a while, or he starts gearing himself up for the next stressful / anxiety provoking event. It seems exhausting for him and I can't help feeling it is so unhealthy.

Punxsutawney the support at uni is there for the dyslexia but I can't see anything in place for the autism. To be honest I'm not even sure what he would ask for. At school he had weekly access to a counsellor, which he found helpful, so I wonder if maybe that might be an option at uni.

I have aspergers and anxiety, and found a
12- week course of CBT talking therapy to help enormously. I have a very low threshold for stress (a bit like your son, perhaps?) but didn't find the academic side of university stressful; I can't imagine how difficult it must be for your poor boy.

I would have thought that uni could provide a mentor to touch base with and help with organisation for staying on top of things, particularly as organisation is a problem for those with many different SPDs as well as autism.

What is causing most of his stress? For me, dealing with the individual things causing the stress as effectively as possible is key to managing the feeling of being stressed.

Do they offer any kind of mentoring? At the moment my Ds is having mentoring with a TA. She is going through anxiety questionnaires with him but also dealing with anything that is coming up during the week. Ds seems to save up his concerns for his time with her. He hates to approach staff for help so having one person he feels able to talk to seems to be helping. Although I'm not sure if this support will continue into the next academic year. Ds will hopefully get his diagnosis around the start of the autumn term, so I guess that may make a difference.

Maybe even just a once a week meeting will help your Ds with his concerns a bit like the help he received at school. It is so difficult when they don't feel they can approach anyone for support. Especially when they are considered adults by the uni. Not sure how they start to learn about dealing with the anxieties that life throws at them though, I wish I did!

plantsplantsplants the stress comes from certain aspects of the course - basically the bits he is less good at. It was the same during his final year of A levels too which nearly broke me.

He gets stressed about peer interactions too, but fortunately I'm able to provide options for those so the anxiety doesn't build up, but I can't do anything about the course stuff as I have no clue!