Elect me. I will fly a unicorn rocket to venus, cure cancer and plant an orchard of money trees

[StealthPolarBear]

And I'm full of enthusiasm and have all my own hair

I'm voting for whoever can ensure the recipe if toblerone will never change.
And will fix the polls so that the results show British women as the most elegant, witty and altruistic.
And will fund scientists to make all plastics ocean friendly.
And will bar dark green from all school uniforms.

Gazelda no probs. I can do that.

Fix me up some free broadband for ever more please while you're at it.

What about reversing all damage to the environment and making sure everyone has their own personal microclimate bubble so we never complain about the weather again ever?