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Original poster

Those mums who “need” to talk to the teacher every bloody morning

60 replies

JammieJones · 04/07/2019 09:05

Please bloody desist

OP posts:
Parttimewasteoftime · 04/07/2019 21:01

I was like this with my pfb in foundation sorry. Was on maternity leave and was feeling all mother earth 🌍 Went back to work barely spoke to year one teacher and threw DS2 in the door. Thank you teachers you are amazing!

Pippapotomus · 04/07/2019 21:07

There is a queue of parents at DSs door each morning. He's #3 and I've had many different teachers and I've never seen anything like it before. Annoyingly I need to hand over a medical bag so find myself waiting in line.

ForalltheSaints · 04/07/2019 21:10

I agree with the OP. Teachers are there to educate, not be social workers or deal with emotional difficulties that parent's have, which may be a contributory factor.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 04/07/2019 21:13

I know a woman that asks to talk to the teacher every morning and one morning all she wanted to tell the teacher that her dd hadn’t had a poo that morning so could the teacher let her go when she needed too............

Mac47 · 04/07/2019 21:15

Ah, I never minded this. It's generally because the mum is anxious and needs a bit of reassurance. They don't tend to do it all year as long as they feel heard at the start. I'd rather they chat to me before it becomes a bigger issue or went home worrying.

Sirzy · 04/07/2019 21:17

But pinks example could actually be a time when it is needed, and when knowing the child is key. If a child has constipation problems for example then that could be a very important message

PregnantWithThird · 04/07/2019 21:34

My DS is going through some problems at the moment and I normally have to speak to his teacher once a week after school. I try and get it over with as quickly as possible and his teacher will often pull me for a chat too. I know most parents won't know what's going on and will just assume I'm one of 'those' parents, but it's important for my DS.

PregnantWithThird · 04/07/2019 21:36

On the other hand, I don't think I've even seen, let alone spoken to, dds teacher all year.

Ambydex · 04/07/2019 21:36

I am this parent. I am embarrassed about it and I apologise a lot.

Autistic child, not able to hand over notes or communicate needs, home school book was never read, no consistent class teacher. I go and talk to whoever happens to be there. So shoot me. I think I went into my DD's class about once a year but with DS I suddenly seem to have grown helicopter blades that people judge the hell out of.

Easy to parrot out "of course except SEND" but the reality is a lot of people assume no extra needs and judge quicker than they can parrot the phrase out.

jackparlabane · 04/07/2019 21:45

Teachers don't get time to read home/school diaries until well into the day. Ditto emails. By which time an upset child might have caused havoc which could have been averted with a quick heads-up. By Y3 they don't get read much at all.

I'm amazed by parents entering classrooms though - our R/Y1 teachers are masters of standing in doorways welcoming in children while making it physically impossible for parents to enter!
After that the teacher is in the playground so might as well say hello at least.

BollocksToBrexit · 04/07/2019 21:48

Quite Ambydex I have 2 autistic children and I feel like I'm never out of the bloody school. Even the school used to judge and roll their eyes when I spoke to them about DD. So eventually I thought feck it, let them get on with it without my input. It took 2 days before they were ringing me every 5 minutes and begging me to help.

Teacakeandalatte · 04/07/2019 21:52

I've always thought teachers make it very hard to communicate on purpose and they create a very them and us feel with parents. I still resent one who cut me off the one time I asked to speak to her before school when dd was very upset about something and that is years ago.

NormHonal · 04/07/2019 21:53

I’ve been stuck with one of these (the same one) for six bloody years. I have a child with SEN and Other Mother’s monopoly on the teachers up to Year 4 (when teachers stopped being visible at the start and end of the day) was directly responsible for some of the problems my DC had. Because her DC’s very mild medical needs (very mild) came first and fuck everyone else. Never got to hand over my child to a teacher (didn’t qualify for a 1:1) or get feedback at the end of the day. Bitch. Parents like this can Fuck Off.

WhiteDust · 04/07/2019 21:57

2 mothers who did this at my DC's school in reception became classroom helpers.
By year 1 they went into to school regularly , on trips, to swimming lessons with their children's class. Couldn't they just let their DC go to school? No they couldn't. Hmm

MrsAmaretto · 04/07/2019 21:58

So do you have to take your child into the school/classroom? At our school we drop off at the main door and the kids go through the school to the playground behind it?

dontticklethetoad · 04/07/2019 22:04

We have a small grassy area in front of the entrance to reception class that is fenced off. We (TAs and/or teachers) stand at the gate so parents can't come in Grin and the children line up and wait to go in.

Despite having a message box with a pen and pad of paper, parents will still stand in the actual gate way talking so none of the other children can get through. FFS.

DancingintheSpoonlight · 04/07/2019 22:07

We have a successful children's author as a class parent. Every morning they bring in books or projects their child want to share with the class. It's a nice gesture but you can tell now the teacher wants her to back off because she has her own lesson plan.

LolaSmiles · 04/07/2019 22:11

Easy to parrot out "of course except SEND" but the reality is a lot of people assume no extra needs and judge quicker than they can parrot the phrase out.
I agree, some people assume too soon.

Although, if I was totally honest it's almost never the parents of children with SEND who are on the phone all the time. I'm in secondary and would say parents of children with SEND are usually really considerate, contact the most appropriate person for the query, know when to let their child deal with normal school life vs when to speak to staff.
The examples I gave up thread were from neurological children with helicopter parents or parents who think their form tutor should know anything and everything about their child's day in all 10-15 subjects.

kidsmakesomuchwashing · 04/07/2019 22:16

I think sometimes the transition from nursery to school is difficult for parents.
Nurseries tell you everything, write it down on a sheet for you, put pics on online apps for you etc etc.
If you ask them at nursery to make sure child eats etc they do it. It's not like that at school.

OhMsBeliever · 04/07/2019 22:17

There was one mum in my twins class who used to monopolise the teacher everyday to talk about her son. No one else could get a word in.

Once they moved up to y3 they went into school on their own so that was the end of it. No. Her DD was in the same class as my youngest, so instead she spoke to that teacher. But not about her DD, still about her son! HmmConfused Yes, he had SEN, but I'm not sure what she expected her daughters teacher to do. And my youngest has SEN, so sometimes I'd be waiting to talk to her only to have to give up!

soupmaker · 04/07/2019 22:26

Yes OP.

When DD2 went to school parents were allowed in to help hang coats up etc. Which was absolutely bizarre as they had to do all of that on their own in nursery class. Worst of all the mums with prams pushing up 3 steps to get into a narrow corridor full of 5 year olds. Honestly no-one is going to steal your baby out of the playground. I just chucked DD2 in and let her get on with it. I know some kids need additional support and that's absolutely fine but the rest of you, get a grip.

Gertie75 · 04/07/2019 22:28

I'm surprised how many schools are so accessible, my dd is in year 1, we drop them at the school gate and they walk in themselves, we don't see a teacher until home time and then it's just to release them one by one.

Even in reception we took them in on day 1 and by the end of the first week the majority were walking in alone, there were a couple who needed a little extra time to build confidence but it only took few weeks.

LolaSmiles · 04/07/2019 22:37

Why has neurotypical autochanged to neurological in my post? ConfusedBlush

Hadenoughofitall441 · 04/07/2019 22:41

Our school don’t have that problem in the morning as it’s a TA on the gate and no parent are allowed in. It’s the end of day, teachers letting the kids out and always get the parents that have to talk to her why she’s trying to let out, because you know the rest of us have all the time in the world 😡

Punxsutawney · 04/07/2019 23:06

My two are teenagers now but I remember it was always the same parents monopolising teachers time at primary. Youngest Ds is 15 and currently being assessed for SEN. For the last few months we have had very frequent email contact with the school. Ds has needed a fair bit of support, I guess if he was a primary I would now considered one of those mothers. The good thing with secondary is that it is all email or phonecalls apart from some meetings but other parents never know. I would not be choosing this much contact but Ds needs it at the moment.