sleep

[pndmummy]

Hi im a mum to my only child she is 3.5 yo for the last year her sleep routine has been whacked out of sorts. she used to have a good routine etc but now she wont fall asleep until 10pm-1am she resists the routine i try and set, what gets her to sleep for one or two nights wont do the same another night. Me and my partner are at our wits end and its not making my PND, anxiety, depression any better i just want to break down and cry. Shes quite bright for her age and ive tried to explain calmly to her but she sees right through it. I need mega help as i just dont know what to do. I have tried the bathtime routine, story routine, black out routine but none just dont work anymore (it all happened when clocks went forward last year).

What does your evening/bedtime routine look like? Does she have a blackout blind/suitable room temp?

Your HV is a good person to ask for help.

I dont have a HV havent done for over 2 years they stopped coming around when she was 18 months!!
Its hard also as i work different shifts too so my partner tries and fails as well as he has been quite laid back with her and doesnt do the whole discipline (thats left up to me).

Does she nap during the day?

Once she falls asleep does she wake?

Is she scared of being left or is it that she is just bouncy and wanting to stay up?

Camomile tea helps children relax at bedtime. www.amazon.co.uk/Chamomile-Tea-Children-Babies-week/dp/B006R68AFS?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

A hot cup of chamomile tea helped calm Peter Rabbit's nerves, and it might do the same for your child. Studies have found that chamomile is a mild sedative that seems to be safe for children of all ages.

No naps...apart from when she was newborn-1yo.
Now she just doesnt do them, once she is asleep shes brilliant though sometimes she will wake during the night and i will take her either to the bathroom or straight back to her bed.
But she is definitely just wanting to stay up yet when i pick her up from childminders at 5.30 every tues/wed shes tired etc but then gets second wind or so when she gets home.I like the idea of camomile tea i will definitely try this as an option.

You will have a HV - all you need to do is give them ring and say you would like some help with sleep.

Honestly it sounds like you are partner need to sit down and discuss a routine that you both agree to and implement for at least a month. Your HV can help you come up with a plan. Children thrive on routine and boundaries as it makes them feel safe and secure.

It used to take us ages to get our toddler to wind down to sleep, now the whole bedtime routine including bath takes about 45 minutes which is so much better.
Things that helped us:
No TV or screens after tea (so from 5ish).
Totally consistent routine, no matter who is doing it. So for us it's ten minutes tidy up time, bath, PJs, cup of warm milk, brush teeth, two bedtime stories, cuddle goodnight, then lights out and audio book.
Baby gate on his room - this means if he does get out of bed he can't rampage around the house. He just comes to the door and is told to get back into bed.
Is she getting plenty of fresh air and exercise during the day? Going for a walk or playing in the garden between tea time and bedtime might also help.
Hope you find something that works - it's awful feeling like you never get the evening to yourself and it's so draining dealing with their behaviour at that time of day, you have my sympathy