Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What would happen if I let ds miss the last 2 weeks of school?

47 replies

Fibbke · 03/07/2019 16:11

He's in year 8.

He's having a totally miserable time at school and starting a new school on September. If its relevant, his current school is a state school and he's moving to private. I'm not sure if the fact he's leaving is making things worse but he's come home upset for the last week. Other kids aren't talking to him, calling him names, he's been left out of end of term sports things (ironically he has a sports scholarship to the new school). He's fucking miserable, I hardly recognise him. The teacher read his work out in class today and then the boy and girl in front turned round and told him it was rubbish - normally he'd just shrug this off but he was choking back tears in the car.

I feel like just letting him stay at home with his siblings (one finished due to a levels, one at private school so has finished for the summer).

Dh won't agree anyway so its moot, but i just feel desperately sorry for him.

OP posts:
Fibbke · 03/07/2019 16:30

Yes Sirzys idea was what i was vaguely thinking of doing.

OP posts:
stayathomer · 03/07/2019 16:32

Best of luck OPFlowers

ArnoldBee · 03/07/2019 16:33

Just hand in a letter stating that you are de-registering him with immediate effect.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Fibbke · 03/07/2019 17:02

he says he wants to stick it out Sad

this is going to be a very long 3 weeks

OP posts:
chocolateworshipper · 03/07/2019 18:41

Private schools normally finish earlier - so maybe justify it to DH by saying you're following the term times of the new school

Kashali · 03/07/2019 18:44

Yes, just deregister with the school. A short note saying you are H.ed until sept, by the time the LA contact you in September he will have started his new school.
A quick note handed in at the end of tomorrow and he needn't go again.

Surfingtheweb · 03/07/2019 18:46

Probably nothing if you come up with an illness that will keep him off. Worst case you will be fined, £60 or something like that:

MsTSwift · 03/07/2019 18:47

No brainer. Think how happy he will be when you tell him he doesn’t have to go back!

OrchidFlakes · 03/07/2019 18:53

Could the GP sign him off sick from a mental health stand point, the current school, new school, DH and DS all have their excuses and paperwork? What a miserable situation for him

BlueSkiesLies · 03/07/2019 18:57

Take him out. Do something fun together.

ChihuahuaMummy1 · 03/07/2019 19:02

Phone in sick for him,you wont get fined for that

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2019 19:03

Yes, do it
Another lady has done it on here ( can’t link to thread) but her DS was being ostracised for going to Grammar rather than onto the senior Private school from Prep
I’m very sorry this has happened OP but I hope that some of the people using the other thread as an excuse to have a go at Private schools see this
I got a full scholarship to a Private school age 11 and my last term at my (State) Primary was hell, made it much easier to leave though and not worry about missing anyone!

Fibbke · 03/07/2019 19:04

We are going to say he's ill tomorrow and Friday and on friday we are going to a sports thing together with his siblings Smile

He thinks he'll have the confidence to go back in monday but we'll see how he is.

He is suddenly VERY happy and he has made me a cup of tea and given me a cuddle Smile

OP posts:
Fibbke · 03/07/2019 19:05

Also hes been sent a postcard from a boy in the year above from his new school giving him his email if ds wants to kniw anything about the new school. I could have cried!

OP posts:
Bluerussian · 03/07/2019 19:10

I'd take him out too, let him enjoy a longer holiday.

Mirali · 03/07/2019 19:10

Please take him out. It sounds hideous

CIT80 · 03/07/2019 19:11

I wouldn’t send him in again just call him in sick x

crustycrab · 03/07/2019 19:14

Take him out! He doesn't need to be in that environment ever again. Plan some fun educational things to do and fill the form in saying you're home schooling. Or ring him in sick. Show him that you've got his back Smile

As for DH not agreeing. Tough. Him not wanting to "cause a fuss" doesn't trump DS's mental health. He doesn't need his confidence knocking any further. A nice long break followed by a new start is lovely.

And make sure he emails that other boy, he'll have a friend before he even gets there.

ForalltheSaints · 03/07/2019 19:15

If you decide to call in sick, once term has ended (or even next term) you should contact the school (chair of governors) to let them know about the lack of support they have given to your DS. It seems contrary to any school's wish to deal with bullying, harassment or other forms of unfair treatment.

BurnedToast · 03/07/2019 19:15

Yes I'd take him out.

DianaT1969 · 03/07/2019 19:52

Another vote to take him out OP. His MH is the priority. Try to persuade him. He is probably putting a brave face on because he thinks it is expected. Well done on a resilient child!

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 03/07/2019 21:38

If you do decide to take your ds out of school for the last two weeks you just need a simple letter to deregister him. There is no need to give any information about how he is to be educated in the future.

We took ds1 out from year 5 for nearly the whole year (aspergers and not a good school to accommodate it) and ds4 out for two weeks after a house move, the new school had a place for him but had to wait 28 days after trying to contact a different parent to give them the place before offering it to us. Dh had started a new job so couldn't drive ds to the rural school he was in so he had an extended Easter holiday! (Which he loved.)

The basics of the letter were:

Dear head teacher,

As of xx/xx/xxxx date we are removing "ds' name" from Xxxxxxxxxx school to be otherwise educated. Please remove him from your registration as of this date.

Yours X. Xxxxxxxxx.

You can pad it out so it doesn't come across as too sterile, and we put a sentence at the end thanking them for all they had done in educating the boys too. (Didn't particularly mean it for ds1's school, but did for ds4's. They also lost me as a member of staff at the same time!)

You don't need to give any other reason than 'educated otherwise' and don't need to explain yourself. It is up to the LEA to investigate whether or not your ds is being educated and since he is being registered at another school for the next school year there will be nothing for them to do anyway.

When we deregistered ds1 it looked like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he started smiling. He went to a lovely school for year 6, did well in his SATS, did extremely well in his GCSEs and is now awaiting his A Level results, so having a relaxed year 5 with museum visits instead of institutionalized learning did him the world of good.

In your situation if you need to remove ds from school for the last two weeks it would be easier to officially remove him rather than going off sick, this will remove the chances of someone picking up on it and asking you to prove he is unwell. (It would be stupid of someone to do that but there are jobs worth people out there.) Deregistering your ds would mean less hassle and not risking the possibility of a fine for non attendance. IMHO it would be the easiest option, no hassle and taking a legal route. After all, if he is absent for illness because of stress then it is harder to prove that than being able to show evidence of a physical illness.

Hope all goes well and your ds enjoys his new school

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread