How can I be there for my pregnant friends?

[user1480794970]

Name changed because I'm having a bit of a pity party that I'd rather not be associated with my usual username.

But basically I'm really struggling to be the friend my pregnant friends deserve. I currently have 3 very very close friends who are pregnant (8 months, 4 months and 3 months), and I know I'm not supporting them properly because I have these overwhelming feelings of jealously and wishing I was there with them (I'm 30yo/single).

How can I get over this?! I feel like I'm pushing them away. I absolutely adore kids and can't wait to meet all three little ones (I'm probably going to be a god parent to at least one, well was), but I'm struggling to convey that to them.

Not even sure what I'm asking really, just wondering if anyone has successfully managed to put aside these thoughts/feelings.

Just call them and talk to them.

If they seem frosty - if you've not been in touch much lately - just apologise and say that you weren't sure how to be there for them as it's not something you are going through.

Accept that there will be new people in their lives - other parents with similar aged babies - but make clear you would still like to see them. Accept that this may mean a slight change to your normal plans - eg a morning coffee meet up with baby in tow rather than a boozy lunch or night out.

Just talk to them like normal, the same way you would of they weren't pregnant. Seriously, just general talk about everyday life, it's kept me sane over the past 8 months.

My friends and I made an agreement when they started families (I'm the last of 4 of us by 2 years to start a family, between 3 of them they had 7 in 3 years) that we would make a point to talk about other stuff than just babies. It ended up with 2 separate group chats via messenger services, one titled life, the other baby, which meant they maintained their 'me' but also created their 'mummy' personalities.

Basically what I'm trying to say is, please don't forget they are still the same people, babies change a lot, but you can still socialise and hang out, just Saturday night at the pub night be lunchtime in a cafe instead with tagalongs.