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Wedding plans just got blown to smithereens. How can I cheer myself up?

10 replies

HeresMyBrightIdea · 02/07/2019 12:39

I have not loved wedding planning. I have no family at all, and weddings don't tend to make that easy!

Fiancé and I eventually found somewhere we loved. It was very us, somewhere we'd been together a few times and that had a special meaning to me too. Free on our date, we booked, all organised.

This morning they've told us that due to "unforeseen circumstances" we won't be able to be legally married there. We can marry before and have a symbolic ceremony there, but they can't do the legal part. Fiancé doesn't want to mislead people into thinking we're getting married when we've already done it. To be fair to him, a friend did that last year, it came out during the symbolic ceremony and some people were quite annoyed, so I can see where he's coming from.

He wants to go back to option #2; which I did love when we viewed it, but it's A LOT more expensive, and just not as good. It doesn't have the same meaning to either of us, and because of the location, I don't think people will stay as late into the reception. The photos won't be anywhere near as good and I feel there will be a massive gap where my family should be. We didn't really like anywhere else we viewed.

He's willing to look at other places, he's said he'd marry me anywhere... but I'm really sad. I don't want to go back to the drawing board; especially with less time now.

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 02/07/2019 12:41

Why not have your actual marriage at a local register office, and use this venue solely for the reception?

Oldraver · 02/07/2019 12:58

It's not misleading at all. This was the norm a while ago for some religious places that were not 'official'.

Hmmmbop · 02/07/2019 13:02

Why not have a first venue for the marriage and thus venue as your reception?

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dillusionaldog · 02/07/2019 13:27

why not just send a note to all your guests now (or when you send the invites if theyre not out yet) saying "the legal marriage will be done but we want to have a blessing and share our wedding day with you all."

OneThreadOnly0101 · 02/07/2019 13:35

It's not actually that unusual for the legal bit to be done separately. Only the most unreasonable of people would have an issue with it.

Have a small registry office ceremony then the sham Grin in your favourite place.

I've been to various non-legal weddings and they were all great.

Nottobesoldseparately · 02/07/2019 14:16

Let them all know in advance.

Dear Guests,
Unfortunately our venue has cocked up, so due to their error we will have to marry legally beforehand.
If you would like to witness our legal ceremony please come to ............
We plan to continue with our original plans, however this will now be a blessing only and our reception.

Toooldtocareanymore · 02/07/2019 14:17

firstly people won't be annoyed if they are told in advance, and know the reasons, people can get annoyed when they turn up for what they think is a wedding with suitable wedding gift, to only be told surprise its actually just big party to celebrate what we did before ..I know a friend and workmate who were in this situation and felt they wouldn't have taken so much time off work and brought such a big gift had they known it was a hands tieing, 2/3 weeks after a wedding, they would still have gone but they would have been comfortable to say we will come along after work as we'd love to celebrate.

My next comment is there must be some options, without having to change what you want, can you ask place where is nearest that can do the legal stuff? what sort of time scale are you talking of, see other suggestions that you start day with registry office then move on to blessing at your venue.

I know one couple who married abroad in the Caymen , on the day the registrant was ill ( they said read drunk) and an assistant from some official office stepped in , only later they couldn't get paperwork told it would be posted in 3 -12 weeks, so they came home and booked a registry office for a few months later at lunchtime, I was only person who knew as I collected their dd from school for them , but they always celebrate the original date as wedding anniversary they say the second was just to get paperwork. you could do same have a registry office later after wedding.

Nottobesoldseparately · 02/07/2019 14:18

Oh and ask your venue for a hefty discount for their error.

BikeRunSki · 02/07/2019 14:19

Register office wedding the. Reception at the dream venue?

Ewanthescreamsheep · 02/07/2019 17:22

How about small registry office ceremony, with just closest family, then have a hand fasting on the day of the "wedding".
I can't imagine why anyone would feel miffed at that.

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