Lifestyle vs education

[Ptlp]

I have a 2 year old and a 6 - in a good private school. We can afford for them to be in private education until the end. They both appear to be doing great.

I am not doing so great. I suffer with awful anxiety and get quite down. I take tablets for it. My house is on a fairly busy road and I get no peace. I hate it. My school parent friends are wealthy and have loads of land and big houses which make me feel so envious. I also feel embarrased about my small house and that I cant even walk into the garden without hearing a truck or people walking past. I just need peace and resent having to drive to the woods to get it.

I am self employed but it's not massively successful. My husband earns quite a lot.

I am on a spiral at the moment about what to do. I could move - buy a big quiet country house with loads of space and have a different and calmer life. We would also have a lot more disposable income. But, I would have to remove the children and put them into state as we couldn't afford both lifestyles (FYI I was state educated - I dont want be labelled as a state hater because I'm not).

Is it fair to the children? An enriched privileged education or an enriched more varied childhood? I just cant give them the latter at the moment.

What would you do? Honestly.

Things won't improve your mental health, but you can create a calmer space without spending loads of money. Perhaps a move in general - to a house that isn't the big country house but is a bit quieter, even if it means a longer drive - would help?

But I think education is far more valuable than a big fancy house if you can only afford one. My mum worked 3 jobs as a single parent to put me in private school (state schools where we lived, not in the UK, were really bad). There was about a year when we had nowhere to live and lived mostly in hotels and a campsite. I still stayed in school though and it's had a tremendous impact on my life. There is no way I'd be where I am now if not for her sacrifice, which I'm sure must have been really difficult.

It would be immoral to expect the tax payer to fund their education because you want a nicer house

No, it really wouldn't. Each individual (ie each of OP's children) is entitled to a state education in this country. They will later each contribute to the county's economy through taxation (according to their means) once they are working adults. Just as OP was entitled to her own education as a child, and is entitled to free health care and the other benefits all residents get, and in return pays taxes on her income.

It would also be incredibly selfish to prioritise your own happiness over your children’s education.

Again: no, it really wouldn't. OP is hardly fecklessly spending her money without a thought to the consequences. She's trying to figure out the best way to meet the needs - not wants - of everyone in the family.