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Original poster

DD (6) won't go to sleep once put in bed - tips?

31 replies

hummusavocado · 01/07/2019 22:10

DD (age 6) gets put to bed at 8pm, but often is still awake at 10.15pm!!
She is allowed to read books after bed time, gets read a story. No screens before bed etc. Often gets out citing "bad thoughts" (a ploy to be allowed into my bed and I usually end up in hers as she starfishes!! Or wants a hug, needs the loo, etc etc

It's driving me nuts! I want her to sleep earlier - she is ratty and grumpy. She still wakes at the same time 7.15am but often bursts into tears too tired.

If anyone has any tips on getting her into a better earlier sleep time and routine I would welcome them.
Thank you :)

OP posts:
hiddeneverythin · 01/07/2019 22:16

Have you tried a much earlier bath/shower/bed time and lights out by 8 or even 7:30? Then that way she might at least be asleep for 9? And don't go back into her once you've put her to bed. Lights out = sleep time xx

JuneFromBethesda · 01/07/2019 22:17

My 8-year-old is a non-sleeper and has been for years. When she was 6 her teacher kindly told me that she should be asleep by 7pm 😂 I’d have been lucky to get her to sleep by 8.30. (Her older sister on the other hand falls asleep like a dream)

We haven’t found a solution, to be honest I think she’s just someone who finds falling asleep hard, and doesn’t need as much sleep as her peers. At least as she’s got older she copes with it better and now doesn’t seem to suffer from lack of sleep at all.

The only thing I can suggest is audio books - they don’t help her sleep but they give her something to focus on so she’s not just lying there in the darkness being bored.

I figure at least by the time she’s a teenager the sleep thing will have evened out a bit and all her friends will go to bed as late as she does (and maybe she’ll even manage a lie-in!)

Whathappenedtooursummer · 01/07/2019 22:20

Good old black mail ime!!
Every night ds went to sleep without extra shouting for this, that +the other he got £1 towards something he was saving for...
He soon got the saving bug!!
Long term paid off - at 24 he is an avid saver! Bought a lovely house at just 24 and had lots of nice cars already!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
iambouddica · 01/07/2019 22:26

We went for an earlier bed time and then after stories etc she gets her ‘10 minutes’ to do whatever she likes (in her room).After that she has to go and lie in her bed, all the toys ( apart from teddies) and books need to be out of her bed, the lights are turned down. Some nights its still a struggle as she fights it, but if she can be persuaded to lie down and close her eyes 9 time out of 10 shes asleep in minutes.

On difficult nights I play relaxation music and sit by her bedroom door ( and mumsnet! ) until she settles.

Its a real battle at this time of year. I wish DD was like my DS who lies down everynight and drips off at 7pm... mind you I wish his day ( and mine) didn’t start at 5.30am!

LL83 · 01/07/2019 22:27

My parents used to say lie still count backwards from 1000. If you move start again. Gave me something to do but boring, stopped me bothering my parents and I never got past 800. Still do it sometimes.

Or audio books?

Original poster
hummusavocado · 01/07/2019 22:34

aw thank you everyone, some brilliant ideas here. you've made me tear up a bit with how kind your responses are. I'm a LP and things are a bit tough at the moment.

Thank you I will definitely be trying these very soon. :) Star

OP posts:
TooMinty · 01/07/2019 22:34

Put her to bed earlier and audio book to distract her? Reward chart might also work?

Madcatgirl · 01/07/2019 22:54

Audiobooks will help hugely. My youngest is a little sleeper so having a good book to listen to (memorise) helps him stay in bed. It’s a rare day he isn’t up by 7:15 at the latest. Luckily they get older and can sort their own light breakfast out at weekends.

Throughabushbackwards · 01/07/2019 23:23

Another one here to suggest audio books. Our DS (9) is a proper night owl. He's been listening to audiobooks since the age of about 5 as we figure that calmly lying in bed with the lights out listening to a story is better than the angst and the tossing and turning and coming downstairs 19 times an evening saying "I can't get to sleep".

Original poster
hummusavocado · 02/07/2019 11:03

thanks all, for the audiobooks how do you play them? Do you subscribe online, or play on youtube? What's the best thing to do? I'm slightly loathe about leaving a tablet on in his room.

OP posts:
Damntheman · 02/07/2019 12:01

You can get audiobooks on CD from your local library. Then it's a CD player in the room rather than a tablet :) I also recommend audiobooks, they're really good for my DS to zone out to, although I'll still implement a lights out time.

I understand your pain! I suffer a milder version of it with my 6 year old. Mornings are such an arse trying to get a knackered child moving.

Apileofballyhoo · 02/07/2019 12:10

I lie down with DS or sit at the end of his bed till he falls asleep. He sometimes goes on his own if I say I'll be back in a few minutes because I need to load the dishwasher or something, but usually he'll stay awake till I come back. I think he just gets lonely lying there on his own and he finds it hard to go to sleep if he's left on his own, but he'll fall asleep more quickly if I'm there. He's an only child so I'm not trying to get other children to sleep too.

He seems to get by on the lower end of recommended hours sleep for his age though. And if he's tired he wants to go to bed early, but still wants me to stay with him till he falls asleep.

Cabbagesoupsucks · 02/07/2019 13:45

Perhaps use a worry monster so if they need to write anything down she can before bed. Have you considered giving her a massage?

MrsOnions · 02/07/2019 14:03

The moshi twilight app has been very good for DS (and me!). There are a couple of free stories and music so you can try before you buy.

JuneFromBethesda · 02/07/2019 14:10

We have an Alexa in her room and play audio books through that.

ChihuahuaMummy1 · 02/07/2019 14:15

I go up with ds 5,tuck him in then turn t light straight out.Might seem a bit harsh but if I let him read etc he wouldn't be in "sleep mode".Sometimes he'll find an excuse to nip downstairs after but we refuse to go back up with him and say night night from downstairs.It works for us anyway.

ThankyouLinus · 02/07/2019 14:25

I've been having a problem with my 8 year old getting to sleep for a long time. He says he has worries. Worries about what time it is, worries he won't fall asleep, worries he'll be tired the next day etc. Every night I found myself repeating the same reassuring things and being called back in because he couldn't sleep. I then found a book called 'what to do when you dread your bed' . It implements a routine and has 'magic tricks' to help your child understand it. It's working brilliantly for us.

CmdrCressidaDuck · 02/07/2019 14:28

Audio books. I have a cheap CD player (which I actually got for free from someone locally) in my 4yo's room. He doesn't like being left alone at night, but an audiobook on CD is soothing and sleep-inducing for him. He loves it as well. You can probably get CD audiobooks for children from your local library.

Jenniferturkington · 02/07/2019 14:36

I’m finding this thread useful as I have a six year old who hates going to bed. We have progressed to not having to be in the room with her as she falls asleep, but she still insists on one of us being upstairs and ‘popping in’ regularly until she is asleep.
I’ve always stayed away from audio books/music as I worry that she will just keep listening for hours and then come downstairs when it has finished. Or that she will fall asleep but then when she stirs she won’t drop back off without the cd. Any opinions on this?
Sympathies OP- my first two were going to bed fine by this age, it’s very draining night after night!

Damntheman · 03/07/2019 08:25

@jenniferturkington I tried the audiobook for my 6 year old but he stays wide awake until it's done. I was gutted! I tend to fall asleep listening to audiobooks but it doesn't seem to work for everyone.

TooMinty · 03/07/2019 17:12

I downloaded an app called RB Digital where you select the name of your library then register with your library card number. Then you can check out audio books and download or stream them to your iPad or phone. My DS listened to Grandpa's Great Escape every night for weeks...

TooMinty · 03/07/2019 17:13

If he wakes during the night, he turns the audio book back on by himself sometimes

Throughabushbackwards · 04/07/2019 15:55

We play the audiobooks on his iPad, but it's got the Kidslox app on it so everything is locked down apart from the alarm (for the morning) and the Books app.

JuneFromBethesda · 09/07/2019 11:57

Thanks so much for that recommendation @TooMinty - that's so useful! I'd never heard of RB Digital before but to have access to library audiobooks through the app is amazing.

BiscuitDrama · 09/07/2019 11:59

I’d be a bit wary of audiobooks as I’d be worried they wouldn’t then be able to get to sleep without them.