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Feeling "meh" about every date..

3 replies

LettuceBeFree · 01/07/2019 22:08

I'm female mid-20s and have generally always had tons of male friends so generally always felt super comfortable around guys in general. I've also been on dates with various guys (not the ones who are my friends as don't see them that way at all) and I've only had 2 "relationships" where I felt utterly obsessed with them, almost like a teenager after a boyband singer, always thinking about them, such a spark, excitement, physical passion, etc. (the 2 were the first person I ever dated and the 5th person (several years apart). With both of these, I knew I wanted them from the first minute when we set eyes on each other.

Every date I've been on with people between those 2 or since has just been so "meh"...I can just take them or leave them and it's like talking to a brother or a nice friend. They're not doing anything awfully wrong e.g. they dress nice, smell nice, super attentive, good talking to listening ratio, have lots of interesting stories, good sense of humour, buy me drinks etc, certainly not bad looking, compliment me quite a bit, text straight after saying they want to hang out again, and we can talk for hours non-stop so to the outside world, it looks like we have "chemistry" but I feel completely flat and un-invested on any date I've been on for the last 2 years..!

In a way that's good as there's no heartbreak or pain.. even when I've been ghosted by some or not asked for another date, I can move on very quickly as I didn't get attached to them but life also feels very hollow without that spark, excitement and attachment I guess....

OP posts:
tobypercy · 01/07/2019 22:34

keep looking for the spark.

Pomgirl · 01/07/2019 22:39

I honestly don’t believe in this magical spark, it’s just sexual attraction. I had it for with a few men and it was a spark that fizzled after weeks or months.

When i met my partner I was ‘meh’ had a kiss and wasn’t intrested messed around for a few months got with someone else, he asked me out again and I went along and still ok I thought he was nice. But it built and time went on I liked him more and more, he had all the qualities you’d want to be with. Now 3 years down the line happier then ever Smile sometimes good things take time. I’d look for qualities you want and work from there.

Stillstrawberrywater · 01/07/2019 22:42

What are you actually looking for in a guy? What are your priorities? You're unlikely to find your perfect guy but if you know your priorities least you can focus on ticking those boxes.

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