Is it possible to sign away your parental rights?

[Glasto]

Ex would like too. In exchange for not paying maintenance obviously.

I would like him too also.

If we are mutually agreed is that something a solicitor could draw up? Would it hold up in court if he changed his mind in a few years?

No, this isn't possible anywhere in UK

Parental responsibility can be removed if a DC is adopted by someone else (new partner), and very, very rarely in other circumstances (eg parent a notorious murderer) and for both those sorts of situation it is decided by a judge. You cannot come to a legal agreement any other way.

You can however just ignore the whole issue. He doesn't interfere with how you exercise parental responsibility, you don't pursue him for maintenance, always assuming you can afford this option - do not short-change the DC

Even with mutual agreement?

I suppose it’s fair enough but you’d think there would be some mechanism by which it could be arranged.

Here’s hoping ex turns out to be a serial killer

My friends husband did it (in ireland I might add though)

You could come to a written agreement that he buggers off and you waive maintenance, and then get it notarized for a tenner. If he changes his mind, he has to pay all the maintenance up front. Make sure you include permanent permission to leave the country, waiver of medical, schooling and religious decisions etc.

Oh, and make a will right now, or he'll help himself to anything you leave in trust for the DC.

"It is possible to delegate the responsibility of looking after a child to a married or unmarried partner, child minder, teacher, friend or relative, but the person with Parental Responsibility is still liable and responsible to ensure that proper arrangements are made for the child."

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/parental-responsibility/

Is the child already born? Are you married? If no to both, you could simply not name him on the birth certificate. He'd never get parental responsibility in the first place.

Otherwise I believe legally the only way to do it would be for both of you to relinquish parental responsibility and then for you to adopt your own child as a single parent - a version of step-parent adoption without the step- which is so much hassle and paperwork I highly doubt it can be done in reality.

I'm a bit confused though as to why you might want this. Why would you opt out of maintenance (or at least the chance to claim it if at any point during your child's life you so need) in return for extremely little extra control on your part? The only things you would NEED your ex's agreement for are changing the child's name, being adopted by a step-parent, moving abroad, and applying for an emergency passport (for some unknown reason, since it isn't required for a normal one). I assume he also wants no contact, so if he had an opinion on any other thing, he would get absolutely nowhere in taking you to court to try and prevent it. He presumably wouldn't be so heartless as to refuse a signature for an emergency passport in a genuine emergency. (My ex is an arse but even he agreed to that when FIL was dying). And if you did want to do one of the other three things, you could also get a court order to do them if he absolutely refused.

If you are worried about care of your child automatically going to your ex if you were to die this is also extremely unlikely if there has never been any relationship between them.

He could do that?

All my life insurance is left to DD, how could he get his hands on it?

Otherwise I believe legally the only way to do it would be for both of you to relinquish parental responsibility and then for you to adopt your own child as a single parent

That's not possible. They can't relinquish parental responsibility, that's the point. It can only be removed by courts, and no parent can relinquish their own child to immediately adopt them.

He was involved in her life for three years and then abandoned her. Literally.

He wants nothing to do with her and makes no effort at contact. However, I know this man and have no doubt in 1/5/10 years he will come sniffing around for a relationship with her. The only thing he cares about is money and when offered a chance to “give” her up in exchange for no maintenance he jumped at the chance. I have it in writing.

I don’t want my daughter legally bound to someone that cold and calculating. I know how it goes in court. He can fuck off for years and years and still get given contact if he swans back in in 5 years time.

I’d like to legally stop that from happening. I’d also like to ensure that when DD is with his parents he isn’t able to remove her from their care.

His mother refuses to stand up to him so I can’t get her on board but DD benefits from a relationship with her grandparents and I want that to continue

Do you need this formalised though? Just don't chase for maintenance payments and if he later interferes threaten to go to CMS for back-payment.

I imagine it's not legally possible because there is no such thing as parental rights only parental responsibilities and the law quite rightly doesn't allow parents to sign away their responsibilities. However there is no reason why you can't do it informally.

Informally between our solicitors?

So if my solicitor drew up a contract saying ex agrees to not invoke himself in medical/educational decisions, gives leave to leave the country and move without his permission, agrees to not contact DD or remove her from any setting I’ve left her in and in exchange I won’t claim maintenance from him. Would a solicitor draw that up?

And would it stand up in court if he changed his mind in 5 years?

No advice but just wanted to say god what a total arsehole that man is.

Even with an agreement like that. What would happen if you died or were incapacitated in some way?

You need to stop contact with the rest of the family too if he sees and hears nothing about her he will be less inclined to swan in and out can you move areas?

I’ve got a consent order with DD’s dad that covers stuff like I can remove her from the country but he would need my permission and I can make final decisions RE schooling/medical. Could you draw up something like that and also appoint a guardian for her in the event of your death (name them in the order too?)

I got my consent order bcs every time we argued he threatened to ‘go for 50:50’ so I refused to engage with him over anything until he signed something that formalised our current arrangement (and a bit more)

I’d like to legally stop that from happening. I’d also like to ensure that when DD is with his parents he isn’t able to remove her from their care.

You can't, especially if the GM won't stand up to him anyway.
There is no legal agreement you could put in place that would preclude contact in the future. No decent lawyer would charge you to draw one up. Sorry

Actually my post is misleading. You can apply for a child arrangements order meaning if he removes her from the GM she could be returned to you. But if you think he would try and the GM wouldn't stop him then why do you send her there?

Disagree with previous poster about stopping contact with family as it is not them who abandoned her and they will always be her blood relatives. It might make her feel less abandoned to still have that relationship. I would consider changing her surname to yours if not already matching though. You will probably need his consent, so better to do it now, before he is out of contact. It might cause problems with travel etc in future if different and you don't have his permission to take her out of the country.

Her name is double barrelled with mine