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Coping with dad constantly interrupting!

2 replies

ThePartyArtist · 01/07/2019 03:48

I get on well with my dad and am very fond of him. However he has a conversational style that's exhausting to deal with at times. Any tips for how I can cope with this? I'm unwell and suffer fatigue so find it very exhausting sometimes.

These are his main conversation traits:

  1. interrupting to ask questions / offer opinions before I've finished. Often it's either something I was getting to but he jumps in before I can make a full point. Or he wants loads of detail, even if I start by saying I don't have full information, and interrupts constantly to ask detailed questions.

  2. having to be the expert: making up statistics to back up his point; ranting on and on about something even; arguing the point on something; having to be right; dismissing all suggestions that there's another way to see a situation.

Both are irritating and nothing new so I don't expect i can change him. I'm more looking for suggestions of how to manage it. It often results in me feeling I don't have the energy to tell him something because I'll get bombarded with questions I cannot answer and have to constantly pause to say "I don't know" or go off on a tangent answering some aspect of it - often something I was going to get to anyway. The trait of having to be right and arguing as if he's an expert on everything is also frustrating and I often end up getting annoyed and saying "fine, you're right" which is unsatisfactory all round. He also takes things really literally - eg. Demands details then becomes fixated on them even though they weren't central to your point and you only added them because he demanded.

My mum is clearly ground down by it and tends to shut down. We both get exacerbated because frequently I ask her a question or she asks me one and he jumps in and answers it for us. This is even if it's specifically not for him eg. I'm asking mum her opinion / how she feels about something. We end up saying "just let her answer!" To him all the time.

I feel guilty even posting this, as I'm close to my dad and in extremis he can be a very good listener. But I find his general conversation style exhausting at times and it can mean I don't bring certain stuff up because it'll lead to a million questions.

OP posts:
LidoDeck · 01/07/2019 03:57

My Dad is like this sometimes. I feel like I'm such a bitch to him sometimes and he clearly gets hurt when I boil over and snap (or even in a half-jokey way) "Dad please don't interrupt me." or "I asked Mum!" or "Thanks for mansplaining that.". Of course I get the usual "Oh I don't know why I even bother opening my mouth, everything I say is wrong" but I've reached a point where I can't be doing with it anymore. I censor myself a lot and have to pick and choose things I talk about. Not ideal.

Nautiloid · 01/07/2019 05:07

My mum interrupts constantly, and often completely blanks me when I speak. I have commented on it a couple of times but she gets cross if I do and acts as though I'm being unreasonable.
I want to say to her that it makes me feel I am uninteresting and unimportant to her, but as I rather suspect that is in fact the case, and any concerted effort to address it would make her angry, I don't bother.
In fact neither of my parents is that interested in what I say. I've mentioned a place to go a few times in recent years. No one cared. Last week my brother went and lo and behold, not only did my parents go a day later, they told me all about how great it is and recommended I give it a go.

Sorry, that became a bit of a rant!

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