Intrusive thoughts / pregnancy

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I've always had intrusive thoughts, got better at quietening and rationalising them over the years.

Have them Re medically complex DS but again can generally shut them up as I see him do so well in real life

Now pregnant with twins and constant intrusive thoughts about their health and future. Share an placenta so worries about TTTS where one gets more nutrients than the other, plus same for blood, what happens if one dies, coming home with no babies and telling DS etc. It's why I'm awake now

I just want to enjoy being pregnant. But I don't now how to shut up the voices when it'll be a month before I see them again

Any ideas?

I've just had my baby and I totally understand what you're going through. All the way through I tried to throw myself into the pregnancy but every time we bought something like a car seat I would think how we wouldn't get to put our baby in it etc because it was all going to go wrong.

I spoke to my midwife about it in the end and she was really helpful. She helped me realise that like you my previous experiences were feeding my anxiety and that I had to just kind of accept the thoughts but also not let them stop me enjoying my pregnancy and planning for my baby.

I'm sorry I don't have much advice to give you but I wanted you to know you're not alone xxx

Thank you, it is comforting. Knowing I'm not just a terrible Mom for having these thoughts. The irrational part thinks if anything happens it'll be my fault which I know is ridiculous, but...
Hope you and baby are doing good xx

Oh I thought I was a terrible mum for ages (and still do sometimes but I guess that's part of all this!)
What I have found really helps is to take stock of what I have and also what I have worried about that hasn't happened. So for example I was terrified I wouldn't get to 12 weeks and I did, I was worried baby would have some form of genetic issue and baby is fine. I was worried we would both die in childbirth but guess what! we are both here!

Like you I thought everything would be my fault even though I knew that was silly. When my baby was born they were very poorly for the first hour or so and all I could think was 'this is my fault for x, y, z'. It's like you know it's irrational and nonsense but you can't stop the little voice! I completely understand you :-)

Throw yourself into this whole thing and try to push back against the thoughts, I'm very much a fake it till I make it kind of person now because I've found it helps!!!!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=tzUoXJVI0wo

I think it's a form of anxiety. I've had them on and off my whole life. They actually pretty much disappeared when I met my husband - which I always thought was lovely :) but they reappeared with a vengeance once our baby was born.
I used to lay in bed and have thoughts about all the different ways he could accidentally die or be killed for hours before dropping off to sleep. It's exhausting. I think I was also suffering with PND which didn't help.
Have a chat with your midwife. Some basic CBT might be useful. You know what they are, which is a great start, but it's harder to rationalise them during periods of stress.
Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy. I hope you find some peace.

Thanks ladies, I will def talk to midwife. I'd like to think if it was a low risk pregnancy I'd be less neurotic but DS was low risk and then born so complex and poorly actually it isn't that reassuring