How would you ever find out if he's actually truly separated?

[CustardD123]

Say you meet someone from online (quite a bit older than you etc.) who initiated the conversation, you meet up and he tells you he has separated from his wife ~6 months ago but not initiated divorce proceedings yet (one of the reasons being waiting on the legislation change to make the entire process "blameless").. he says he doesn't live with her and lives alone.

How would I know this is all true? Guess there's no real way of verifying it?

I'm old school. If they are married, they are married.

I know i am a cynic, but i put the onus on them, and assume they lie, until they prove otherwise😊

I was still 'married' for 4 years after I separated from my exh - 8 months still living together, 3+ years apart due to him dragging everything out, 3 court visits etc. Whilst yes, still officially married, I was very much not with him and I considered myself to be single and available for dating.

You either believe him or not OP. Time will tell if he's really separated. Just play things casual until you know for sure.

@WidoWanky do I assume by old-school you mean you've never been in OP 's shoes, or in the horrible limbo of being separated and ready to move on to a new relationship?

I'm old school. If they are married, they are married.

This.

Who needs the hassle?

Big age gap and still married, I wouldn't go there.
Plenty more fish and all that.

Smaller age gap, all other signs good, separated for at least a year, I would proceed with caution and look out for things like social media (has he added me, does his profile look like his main one or a secret/private one), does he invite me for dinner or a drink at his place or does he always want to go out or come to my place, does he invite me out with his friends. I would wait a while before having sex and would want to feel as sure as I could that he was definitely single (not necessarily with a finalised divorce but certainly emotionally disentangled and obviously not living together!)

Having said all that, if I ever found myself single again I would probably stay that way!

Separated in online dating means still married. Just move on if he was single he would put single. By putting separated he's stating that a reconciliation is still possible or lying and is just actually still married and cohabiting.

Well you could visit his house? Generally not a good idea to get too close before meeting someone and getting to know them in real life. Without being sexist, it's normally clear whether there is one or two people living in a home.

Thanks everyone. This is regarding a person I’ve met in person too.

Didn’t say separated on his profile (he told me in person), he had initially told me online that he was looking to take it very slow and mainly looking for friendship yet once we had met, he seemed more interested in the ‘romantic’ sense I guess? Or at least seemed to!

The age gap is around 10 years btw (me mid 20s, him mid 30s)

Nope. Next.