Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Invitation situation - what would you do?

11 replies

Abcd3 · 30/06/2019 18:50

I’ve recently moved into a new flat. Nearly three weeks ago one of my new neighbours invited me round for coffee “next week”. I said that would be really nice. She did not at that point specify a day and time, so I assumed she’d text me nearer the time. She didn’t. I’m now wondering - did she end up being too busy, or forget? Or did she expect me to pop round at my own initiative, and is now thinking me rude/antisocial for not doing so? She is genuinely very friendly and I really think the invitation was sincere - not the kind of thing that’s said but not meant. (A couple of times before, when I was popping into my flat to organize renovation work before moving in, she mentioned that we should meet for a cuppa.) I don’t think I should call round without prearrangement, especially as she’s a hairdresser who works from home, so might have a client there. An ideal way to clear up the situation would obviously be that we happened to see each other outside our flats, but so far this hasn’t happened, and it may not do anytime soon. What would you do - just leave it for now?

An additional factor is that I really need some hairdressing, and was planning on going to her - convenient for me, and I expect she’d be pleased to have a new client. Perhaps I could text and mention both the coffee and the haircut?! I don’t want to seem pushy about the coffee but also don’t want to seem as if I’m ignoring the invitation!

OP posts:
Abcd3 · 30/06/2019 18:52

Just to clarify, when she mentioned previously meeting for a cuppa, she meant once I’d moved in, so we have still not had that cuppa and introductory chat!

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 30/06/2019 18:58

I’d slip a note under her door suggesting a time fit her to pop in ie, Tuesday after 2pm and your phone number.

I wouldn’t ask her to do your hair unless you know she’s good. It’s a bit too close for comfort if you don’t like the cut. And then it would be awkward if you went elsewhere.

Abcd3 · 30/06/2019 19:08

Thank you for your reply! As she invited me, I feel it might seem a bit odd if I invite her without having taken up her invitation! Also, the work on my flat isn’t finished yet, so my living room looks a mess and has boxes and piles of paint tons etc.

Good thought about the haircut...

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Abcd3 · 30/06/2019 19:08

*paint tins

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 30/06/2019 19:11

Why not, then, do the note thing but list a couple of days/times you are available, and ask her to confirm if she is also free?

newmomof1 · 30/06/2019 19:32

Text her and say "Hi, how are you? We still haven't had chance to have a coffee and a chat - let me know when you're free and we'll arrange it!"

Abcd3 · 30/06/2019 19:39

Thank you for the replies! Do you think that a note/text might come across as pushy? It might be that the reason she hasn’t been in touch with a specific day and time is that she’s been really busy, and if that’s the case, I don’t want to hassle her!

By the way, what’s everyone’s understanding of someone inviting you round next week but not specifying when? Would you think you were expected to pop round on your own initiative, or not?

OP posts:
newmomof1 · 30/06/2019 23:44

I don't think it's pushy at all - she initiated contact so it's your turn to respond IMO.
If she's busy it's best to do something like that, where she can respond in her own time, than bump into her face to face and expect to be given a date there and then.

I wouldn't take it as open invitation. If you're worried about a note or text being pushy, I can't imagine you're the kind of person to knock on her door and say "hey im here for that coffee you mentioned".

I think you're overthinking - just text her and then the ball is back in her court and you can relax

Dillow · 30/06/2019 23:53

No don't just go round there. I would personally wait tip I bumped into her but if you're really keen just text her.

BackforGood · 01/07/2019 00:06

Well if she's given you her number, it will be because she's expecting you to feel welcome to use it.

Just text her and say - are you free / do you want to come for a cuppa / glass of wine on Wed at 7.30?

She knows you've just moved in, doesn't matter if you've still got stuff in boxes.

(I agree about the not asking for her to do your hair initially).

Abcd3 · 01/07/2019 22:07

Thank you for the replies! I’m glad people think I was right not to just call round!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page