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Original poster

Do other people have terrible anxiety after a night out..?

54 replies

Esto · 30/06/2019 17:56

I know most people have a bit of hangover blues/oops can't believe I said that, but as I'm getting older I'm finding the day(s) after a night out (even where I'm not particularly drunk) just unbearable.

We attended the wedding of DH's colleague yesterday, it was absolutely lovely. At the time I felt ok, making small talk and having a little dance at the evening party. But today I've gone over everything I said and did, scrutinized it all and felt embarrassed and humiliated by it. I've concluded that they all hated me and I was a total embarrassment to DH and his colleagues will think I'm an idiot and by extension that so is he.

WTF? My thoughts are just getting out of control

OP posts:

user27495824 · 30/06/2019 18:54

Alcohol is a recreational drug. I'm pretty sure it causes 'the fear' in the same way that amphetamines and other drugs do. I guess your tolerance of the side effects changes with age.

OwlPrincess · 30/06/2019 19:16

I've been like this all weekend because I had a rare night out on Friday.
No matter how much I rationalise it and know it's because of the alcohol I still feel terrible and worry about absolutely everything until it wears off.
I'm an anxious person and a worrier anyway but going out drinking has started having this effect on me in the last few years.
You have my sympathy. It's not nice at all.

SeaOtterFluff · 30/06/2019 19:17

I thought I was the only one who suffered with this. I can replay conversations over in my head for days after an event. I'm teetoal though... so it's not alcohol related. I met up with some old school friends last month for a cream tea and walk - had a great time while I was there but now I'm convinced I'm socially inept and don't want to meet them again because they think I'm weird.

Original poster

Esto · 30/06/2019 19:20

Thank you all, I'm reassured that it's not just me! I did drink alcohol but wasn't drunk at all. The rational part of me knows I was perfectly normal, chatted about work and children and holidays and wasn't rude or outrageous really but I've felt completely irrational today. It's horrible!

OP posts:

LesserBohemian · 30/06/2019 19:32

I get that and I don’t even drink!

Every single social event and interaction has me overanalysing and panicking about everything I said/did/didn’t do. Even just going for a coffee/play date.

It’s horrible. It’s exhausting. And I often duck out of plans I’ve made because I don’t feel strong enough to cope with the aftermath. I realise that’s rude but it honestly breaks me.

Is that a normal occurrence too? Or a special hell reserved for me?!

PunkyBubba · 30/06/2019 20:22

Wow! I have started getting this anxiety after a night out now..

I thought it was down to the alcohol but last week went out with a group of girlfriends and have the same post-evening anxiety even though I didn't drink alcohol!! Feeling like I should have kept my mouth shut as, looking back, everything I said was boring, pretentious, or otherwise embarrassing..

Maybe it was but I never felt this way after a night out until about 6 months ago.. (I'm early 40's)...

DragonMamma · 30/06/2019 20:33

I get this all the time. Especially with work colleagues but it’s started creeping in with people outside of work now.

My colleagues know if I text the following day I have the The Fear and put me out of my misery ASAP.

You have my sympathies OP. It’ll be better tomorrow 🤞

EnidButton · 01/07/2019 01:59

I've always got it since starting drinking at 15 18 👀 It was only in my late 20's when I worked out I had anxiety anyway and alcohol made it worse that I stopped. Just one drink would cause it for me.

Alcohol is a depressant so I think that's why it can cause these feelings. It's very common too.

Otter think that's called rumination. It can be a common symptom of anxiety. It sucks balls quite frankly. And Lesser you might have some anxiety too. I'm not a doctor or anything though.

EnidButton · 01/07/2019 02:01

Lesser look up social anxiety, see if it's something you recognise and have a chat with a gp if you do. There's stuff that can help.

Sammysquiz · 01/07/2019 06:47

Me too. I majorly cut down the amount I drink as a result, but consequently get lots of ‘why aren’t you drinking?’ comments, and then I get anxiety that everyone thinks I’m boring. This isn’t helped by the fact that I struggle to stay til the end of a night out. It gets to 10pm ish and everyone’s pissed, loud & repeating themselves, and I tend to leave at this point!

smashamasha · 01/07/2019 06:56

We call it PPAD in my family.

Post Pissed Anxiety Disorder.

Bezalelle · 01/07/2019 07:14

I get this and I don't even drink! After going out, I torment myself for days, convinced that people thought I was a dick/boring/pretentious/too quiet - all manner of things. So it's not just a booze thing.

BentNeckLady · 01/07/2019 07:15

Not since I gave up drinking 👍🏼

rosedream · 01/07/2019 07:27

People think that feeling drunk is the only side effect from drinking but it's not and you can have other effects and not feel drunk. It's not the amount of alcohol you drink which causes this it's the effect alcohol has on you. Even one glass can cause anxiety in some people. I think alcohol probably effects you quite badly.

Kez200 · 01/07/2019 07:31

Yes!

OneToThree · 01/07/2019 07:35

Yes and I’ve stopped drinking completely since March 23rd. I’m loving it. I am choosing to do it therefore I don’t dread the events like I would have before.
I ask myself if I think I need alcohol to enjoy an event it can’t be that good to start with. I’ve done a few events now without drinking and I’m not going back anytime soon.

Peachesandcream14 · 01/07/2019 07:43

I have a friend who was like this, she'd often ring me up the night after drinking because she had 'the fear' and needed company. She wasn't ever one to get really drunk either, alcohol just affected her really badly so she is now teetotal.

ditavonteesed · 01/07/2019 07:45

It's the reason I don't drink anymore, now I'm just really boring on a night out as the reason I drank in the first place was too get over social anxiety, I tend not to go out now.

veryboredtoday · 01/07/2019 07:50

Yes very much so. Just need to make my dh make that connection as he really suffers with his mental health after drinking.
I went tee total for about a year and now drink in moderation

Dec2019mumtobe · 01/07/2019 07:54

Yes and it's ten times worse if I drink alcohol. Which is why I usually elect to drive these days, or I just cut right down and drink mostly soft drinks.

I have a touch of anxiety day to day anyway, and alcohol is a depressant on your system so it makes you feel bad after.

It might be worth not drinking (or just having a couple and then swapping onto soft drinks) after and seeing if that helps ? (This is assuming you drink at all of course!)

QueenBeee · 01/07/2019 07:56

Since reducing my intake of caffeine to one mug in the morning I can see that what is giving me anxiety is alcohol. If I drink alcohol in the evening I wake up with anxious thoughts in the early hours. If I don't I don't wake with the horrible panicky feeling. Stopping the caffeine made the connection clear.

Candymay · 01/07/2019 07:56

That was my life. For years. Hideous anxiety- the worst pain I have ever had. I now don’t drink and rarely socialise at all! 20 years.

I’m not saying you’re an alcoholic or that you shouldn’t socialise- I am just telling you my story because yours stood out to me and took me back to those awful days.

VirginiaWolfHall · 01/07/2019 08:02

Yes, I get it terribly. So much that I now have to prepare myself during the day before going out to have a mental checklist of what is OK and what is not, so I can refer to it next day when I’m if irrational mind and reassure myself that even if I got a bit silly and boisterous that’s OK...!

I have a Fitbit and am quite alarmed at how much my heart rate goes up after a night out, it would explain some of the dreadful anxiety. I think not drinking at will probably be my eventual solution for this in future!

Chocolatepeanuts · 01/07/2019 08:05

How interesting. I had always heard of the fear but didnt actually realise thats what ive had after the last 2 or 3 nights Ive been out over a 6 month period. Im 36! The last time i felt like crap all week ( but then i know i really did make a dick of myself rather than imagine it).

statetrooperstacey · 01/07/2019 08:43

Yep, dirty come down, beer fear, whatever you want to call it. It’s a thing. Less so if no drink has been consumed. But it can still rock up!!

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