Potty training hell - should I give up?

[smallplainblonde]

My little girl is 3 at the end of July. I tried to potty train her back in Jan but it was a disaster and my heart wasn’t fully in it because I was pregnant. Her speech now is really good and she loves coming to the toilet with me, tells me she’s done a poo etc so I thought she was ready.

Decided to try again this week, started on Thursday. I’ve left her naked from the bottom down and today she’s asking for pants so I’ve put them on her.

But we’ve had zero progress since we started. She’s done a tiny drop of wee in the potty about 3 times and that’s when I’ve caught her weeing on the floor. One poo yesterday and half on the floor, caught her in time so half on the potty.

So we haven’t had one successful try in almost 4 days. Should I just give up and try again next month?

I’ve heard people say when they are ready they will just get it but I’m worried that’s not true for every child and I’ll have another 4+ days of this hell if I stop and try again later!

Any advise?!

I would put her back in nappies and try again in a few weeks/a month or two. It takes time to potty train but it should get progressively better and if she's not progressing then she's probably not ready.

When I potty trained my eldest he seemed ready, was showing awareness of when he needed the loo, etc so I tried training him. In two days he didn't get a single wee or poo into either the potty or the toilet so I put him back into nappies. Around six weeks later I tried again and he nailed it, potty trained within a few days.

We tried encouraging child to sit on potty and try at regular intervals. Big praise if any success. Once they get the idea try and get them to notice the feeling when they need to pee (butterflies in tummy was one description).

If you dont see any improvement after a few days then it's not the right time.

Thanks MauisHouseOnMaui this is what I’ve heard from a few people, I think I’m just worried she’s never going to reach that stage. This is tough!

I tore my hair out with DS and in the end I had to accept he wasn't ready. I kept the potty out and kept offering it. When the right time came, he happily took to it and graduated to the toilet quickly after. I could have saved myself a lot of stress if I'd just accepted he wasnt ready rather than trying to force the issue!

Just wait and try again in a month's time or so.

Thanks little how old was your son when you tried?

What are you actually doing to get her to use the toilet? To start, they don’t know they need to go and that’s perfectly normal.

With mine I set a timer for every 15 minutes all day for the first 2-3 days, then sat her on the toilet. We still went through 8 changes of clothes per day the first 2 days. I sent her off to nursery after 4 days at home and she was mostly fine, maybe only 4 accidents per day. They do wet themselves a lot to start and we didn’t properly leave the house for 2 weeks. But I persisted and then it was done and she was fine with it all.

Have you tried the Oh Crap method?

If not get the book. I found it really helpful.

Started at about 2.5 I think, he turned 3 at Christmas and was in nappies when he started nursery in Jan. He lost the nappies in Feb, just decided! He still had a nappy during nap-time, but it didn't last long. Night-time nappies went pretty soon after that. He's dropped his afternoon nap now too (about a month ago). I was amazed how he's sort of taken himself through all these big steps!

mind I’ve been doing that and she will literally wee on the floor about 2 minutes after she gets off the potty. Also she’s getting upset when I put her on it now and I don’t want to give her issues about it.

I have no issue with her having accidents and cleaning up etc if she was even getting one full wee in the potty.

Pasta no I will order that book, thanks.

Little thanks, I hope that will happen for us. I think I just have it in my head that she needs to be trained before she’s 3 which is my own silliness really!

If she gets upset about you putting her on her potty and isn’t managing to get many ‘strikes’ in the pot off her own bat, I’d put her back in nappies for a few weeks and try again. The worst thing is that it becomes a ‘thing’ and they start fussing/refusing etc because problems can take a long time to undo. If you aren’t bothered about her being dry right now, I’d park the potty for now.

Thanks Tom I think that’s good advice!

I had a massive nightmare trying to get DS to potty train. Had visions of him going to school in nappies. Really stressed myself out over it. And then one morning he woke up and decided he wanted to wear pants. He has two small accidents that weekend and no more. Just figured it out. I wish I had known this beforehand, could have saved me some stress. He was 3.5 by the way. He's still wearing nighttime nappies as he seems to wee a lot at night but might try and tackle that soon too. He'll be 4 in September.
Good luck and try not to stress yourself out.

I agree, put back in nappies. Leave the potty accessible, as well as a toilet training seat. My dd2 never did a wee in a potty, she hated it, but toilet seat she took to it easily and happily.

We left them in the bathrooms (one up and one down- you don't have time to be searching for seats when they say they need it!).
She started saying she wanted to sit on it, but nothing happened. We often put her on it whilst we ran the bath and had intermittent success (which was very much praised). Eventually I took her out to buy pants and she chose her own and was excited. It took about 4 days in the end once we decided to properly go for it.

Go slow and try not to stress too much.

Just keep a supply of nappies, chocolate buttons, gin and over enthusiastic smiles at the ready!

@RecoveringChocaholic
My dd1 was potty trained at 2 but wasn't dry at night until 5. So don't worry at all about night nappies for a while yet. I only decided to try and stop them because i suspected she was weeing in them when she woke in the morning, rather than overnight during sleep.
(The days she was still asleep when I went in to her she was dry, the morning she chatted in bed before getting up she was wet but it felt 'recent') I had 4 days of changing bedding, but then it was fine.

I know others who haven't had reliable at night until they were 6 ish. So really don't worry.

Thanks everyone, so helpful to hear other people’s experiences. I’m going to put her back in nappies and try again in a month or so.

I tried one evening and in the space of 40 mins my daughter had done two wees next to the potty (happened to be stood there) and one next to the fridge. Gave up as she had zero interest. One month later she said she wanted a poo on the toilet. Same next evening. We went with it and it was really straightforward. I think you should leave it a month or so and try again. They all develop at different rates and it really doesn't matter if she needs nappies for longer.