Is this fair? Mortgage

[CapitalistLackey]

Dh owns his house outright. I’ve been living there for 10 years paying share of bills and generally paying my way but not mortgage.

He used redundancy to pay off mortgage and got a lower paying job.

I also own house I rent out for £650 pcm.

We’ve seen a new house we both like at v top of our budget. He’s got grown up kids so more outgoings than me.

He thinks as he’s putting in equity he should pay less mortgage. I think it would be fairer if we were both left with the same spendies.

If we go his way it’ll 8mpact on my retirement plans. Really not sure if I’m being unreasonable.

Ringfence deposit amounts, split mortgage 50:50. If you split up and sell, you each get back the original deposit plus 50% of the rest.

YABU just for using the word 'spendies'.

Surely if you have an additional income and he doesn't, plus he has the lower paying job, and he has extra outgoings, he needs to be paying much less of the mortgage to have the same "spendies" as you. I think you need to give us some figures.

He’d be left with £3k a month I’d be left with 1.5k ..... for everything except the mortgage.

50:50.

i would say that arrangement doesn’t work for me so I can’t afford to proceed.

Work out the percentage of deposit he's putting down, ring fence that. Then pay 50% each off the mortgage. If you split up, he gets the percentage of the house value back (could be more or less than he put in depending if the house goes up, or drops in value), then split any equity 50/50.

If he's your DH surely they are your joint retirement plans, not just yours.

I just don't get married couples who keep their finances separate

I agree with starynight, but if you can't agree I wouldn't go ahead.