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My inability to make a decision is legendary!

8 replies

madcatladyforever · 29/06/2019 10:13

I won't go into all the ins and outs or we'll be here all day.

I live in an amazing seaside beauty spot with breath taking countryside all around and of course I love the sea. I have been here for the last 15 years. Since I moved here my husband divorced me and I lost my very local job.

I have two friends in the town and all relatives miles away.

The house is a money pit and paying the mortgage and upkeep of the place means I'm working 6 days a week with a daily travel time from 2 to 4 hours driving.

I'm almost 60 and I'm knackered.

I have the opoortunity to go for a not so well paid job and live in amazing countryside in Somerset/Devon border in a far superior house that has already been done up for a much cheaper price, about £50,000 less. So I will not have much mortgage to pay.

I have lots of friends in that area and will have a readymade social life.

But no sea, and all of my pets are buried in my garden here, it sounds really stupid but it feels like I will be abandoning my childrens graves.

It will be over 10 years before i can pay off my mortgage here whilst working like a beast of burden so I don't know why I am so upset about leaving. My new life would be so much easier.

I think it's my memories, my animals, the National Park I'm leaving and the sea.

I know i'm being stupid and should just leave but I'm so afraid of making a mistake and ending up in a worse place and not being able to afford to go back.

I'm going up there on Thursday to have a good look round and maybe that will settle my mind but I'm still not sure.

Hekp me to stop being pathetic and make the right choice. For goodness sake I can't even rememebr the last time I went down to the sea which is half a mile away or went walking in the national park because I am either at work or asleep.

OP posts:
EnidButton · 29/06/2019 12:09

You can visit the sea and your pets will always be in your heart and memories. Making a huge change is scary and I think you're coming up with reasons not to make the change just because you're scared of the unknown. Which is natural and understandable. Also you're leaving behind the life you imagined for yourself there.

But there's really nothing but positives in your post regarding moving and it sounds ideal! Also your last move sounds like it was mainly decided by your exh or at least by his circumstances, this one will be all yours and just for you. That's really positive I think.

EnidButton · 29/06/2019 12:11

You're not being stupid btw. It's very wise to be cautious. Even if you've been to the new area before, seeing it now as a potential home will be very different. Going to visit is a good idea.

EnidButton · 29/06/2019 12:14

God sorry for the triple post Blush I'll leave you to wiser Mumsnetters now but just wanted to say sorry I misread your reasons for moving 15 years ago. Don't know where I got that it was because of your ex.

FrancesFryer · 29/06/2019 12:26

At least it's a fairly major decision you're making.
DS used to take 20 minutes to decide between beans or spaghetti when he was smallConfused

madcatladyforever · 29/06/2019 13:35

Lol Frances, I'm not much better Grin And enid thanks too, I think I am coming up with reasons not to make the move because I'm leaving behind what were my hopes and dreams for the future that fell apart.
I really do need to move on and live a better and easier life and I looked at google maps and it's only a 50 minute drive and 24 miles to the sea from where I want to live (all on the back roads). So it's still there.

OP posts:
Alwaysgrey · 29/06/2019 13:39

I think you’ve already made a decision. You’ve got the lovely memories of your animals but at your age you deserve to relax a little more. If you like the new area and you have friends I’d consider moving. As long as you’re not too rural and remote and can get about. There doesn’t seem to be much keeping you where you are. Life is about making memories and connecting with people. The sea is lovely but not so much if you have no one to share it with and are stressed with work and money.

AnnaMagnani · 29/06/2019 13:40

I moved out of London and worried that I was doing the wrong thing and moving to the back of beyond.

Funnily enough, I do more activities in London now than I actually did when I lived there. Perhaps it's having it on your doorstep that means you can't be bothered?

You will only be 24 miles to the sea and if it's important to you, you will make the time to go to the sea. Likely more so as it will be special.

Di11y · 29/06/2019 13:42

move! you'll have more leisure time.

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