Should I allow dd to have YouTube on phone before bed time?

[twosoups1972]

Need some opinions!

Dd is 12 and has a hand me down iPhone. I limit the time from the device. She can have 1.5 hours each school day and 2 hours at weekends. Downtime is between 8.30pm and 7.15am the next morning. However I allow Spotify to be unrestricted as she uses her waterproof bathroom speaker for music when she’s in the bath.

She’s now campaigning for you tube also to be unrestricted supposedly also for listening to music. She does dance/stretching exercises each evening. I suspect though it’s very tempting to watch stuff too if it’s there.

She’s just gone off in a strop after I’ve says no to You Tube.

WWYD?

Should also add she is ASD and can’t seem to cope with rules so I try not to have too many.

No!
I say this because I use my iPhone for YouTube before sleep and I scare myself half to death.

No, I did allow it and now I’m struggling to get ds asleep (he has asd and has always been a poor sleeper) because the blue light from the screen is known to restrict melatonin production and stop you going to sleep

And kids with asd often don’t produce enough melatonin anyway.

I’d allow longer in the day before down time.

She promises she only wants it to listen to music not to watch and is upset that I don’t trust her.

DS (13) tried this on me. Next thing he was struggling to get up in the morning and school refusing (also ASD).
I struck a compromise and let him have his phone in bed at weekends but on school nights he hands it over. He’s happy with that.

My dd also 12. We have a phones off rule from 7 (occasionally 7.30). Not so much content issue as a "too much stimulation before bedtime " issue. You know your dd best. If she is using it to access vids that have helpful stuff that helps her wind down then it's probably fine. As long as that's what it's being used for.
Make it a trust thing whereby you trust her to be sensible but "betraying " your trust has consequences.

If you do allow it make sure the night shift setting is on the brightness. But I really wouldn’t at bedtime. It’s caused years of problems and meltdowns for us.

I'd get a Google mini, our boys have them in their rooms to listen to music and it works really well. You can also use it to communicate between rooms and set alarms so useful too. Definitely not screens in the bedroom at bedtime.

mrsjamin are they expensive and can you get Spotify on them?

I would say no, because I watch stuff on YouTube and I really wouldn't want my DD having access to the sorts of stuff on there. Lots of great content, lots of adult content, lots of dubious content.

DD is 10yo and has a Google Mini. She's on our family Google Music subscription which she can access on the Google Mini. It has some settings to restrict explicit content although not foolproof. I can also see everything she asks the Mini and the replies given. I have access to her Google Music username and password so I can see the songs she's saving and talk to her about any that might not be suitable.

You can switch the screen off and Spotify still plays, you have to leave the screen on for YouTube to work, it's virtually impossible to stop your eye being drawn to it.

Our Google Home Mini was about £40 on offer.

Spotify + Google Home Mini info here

We use Spotify on a family account and have four Google home/minis across the house, works really well. I love how the boys have really got into particular kinds of music since having it. No screen is a big plus.

We make our dd leave her phone to charge downstairs at 8.30pm. Otherwise she watches YouTube all feckin night. She has a little radio CD player to use when its time to give her phone in. It helps her get homework done without distraction too.