Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Sad I will never have another newborn baby

31 replies

Rose220 · 27/06/2019 20:04

My husband and I have 3 lovely children 2 boys and a girl. And recently I have been feeling sad I will never have another newborn again. My husband had a vasectomy when my daughter was 8 months old. I now we did the right thing but deep down I miss the baby days. I find myself looking over all there old baby photos and I forget how small they were. I sometimes wish I had those days back.

OP posts:

busybee987 · 27/06/2019 20:27

on the flip side though, no sleepless nights and sleep deprivation. my wee man is 5weeks old and before him i thought i could have another, now im in the fog of newborn ness i forgot how unsettling the beginning is. i know what u mean tho, just trying to give a bit of perspective

DuchessSybilVimes · 27/06/2019 20:34

I feel that sadness too. Dd2 is only 8months but we know she's our last and, while I know that is absolutely the right decision for us, it does make me incredibly sad to think about her being my last baby.

I keep telling myself that it's just evolution messing with my head. The desire to procreate needs to be strong to make sure the species survives.

Still sucks though.

LittleFairywren · 27/06/2019 20:36

A newborn is a newborn for a few short weeks. Look forward with your children, not backwards.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

Wildernesstips · 27/06/2019 21:15

I was thinking something similar on a train today as a Mum and her young DS were sat behind me, thinking I'll never have that again. My 2 DS are either side of 20 and it's the first time I've genuinely felt nostalgic for those days.

You have to live for the present though.

Soola · 27/06/2019 21:27

You might become a grandmother!

Aria2015 · 27/06/2019 21:36

I find this post interesting. I have one lo and it’s looking like I can't have anymore (fertility issues). I'm very happy with my lo and some days I feel fine about it but other days I feel this super nostalgic feeling and I pour over lo’s baby photos and feel sad about not being able to have another. The fact that you and other posters feel this way despite having two or three children makes me think that this feeling I have wouldn't necessarily go away even if I could have another baby and that actually makes me feel a bit better.

DuchessSybilVimes · 27/06/2019 21:44

Yes, Aria, I'm certain it's a sadness that I would have even of we had another - because that baby would then become the last baby. I think it's the finality of it for me. No more newborn cuddles. Once this baby stage is over there'll be no more babies.

I am already looking forward to grandchildren!!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/06/2019 21:49

I felt sad for about 3 years after my 4th that that was it. I would never have the excitement of a BFP again. The feeling of being preg again. Labour starting and how exciting it is etc. The newborn stage. Baby wearing.

But then I saw my babies become independent and that was a joy instead. And no night feeds. And sleep. And no nappies. And no risk assessing every single place you go. And no carting tons of stuff everywhere etc

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/06/2019 21:50

And my gorgeous eldest boy who is nearly 6ft like me at 14 and can give me the best hugs now

Nuttyaboutnutella · 27/06/2019 21:56

You're more than welcome to borrow my almost 5 week old at a 2am feed so I can sleep

BringOnTheScience · 27/06/2019 22:05

There are new phases to look forward to.
School landmarks
Independence milestones
Sharing experiences as equals

We're in exams / driving / 1st job / gigs territory. I love it! Teens has definitely been my favourite phase of parenting.

Ginnymweasley · 27/06/2019 22:09

My 2nd baby turned 1 yesterday. I don't really want another but watching him toddler around made me a bit sad that I won't ever have a baby again. My dd starts school in september and that makes me sad as well. I'm excited for all the new things they will both learn but still sad at how fast it goes by.

Greenmarmalade · 27/06/2019 22:16

aria you are right. I have 4 and I have a desperate longing for another!

Welder · 27/06/2019 22:19

I loved the newborn days but in all honesty I've enjoyed discovering DD's personality as a toddler more. Yes she can be hard work but most of the time she's my little sidekick and just so much fun, and as a baby she was just cute . I don't feel sad about the fact that I won't have any more babies and I hope I don't start to in the future. It does seem quite common though.

80sMum · 27/06/2019 22:23

Both of my DCs are now adults. The eldest is nearly 40. Make the most of what time you have with your children because it really is a very short time indeed! Before you can turn around, they'll be gone.

Greenolivesorblackolives · 27/06/2019 22:23

I think this a totally normal reaction and I think even if I had 20 babies I’d feel sad when it was my final baby.
It’s knowing there’s certain things you won’t ever do/have again but try to remember there’s still so much to have/do and that’s what you’d should look forward to.
It’s very easy to look back with rose tinted glasses aswell. I remember the newborn days to be much easier than they actually were.

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 27/06/2019 22:28

YANBU. I have 4 children and am in my mid 40s and still get that longing for another one, to hold my new born baby in my arms, that new born baby smell etc.

I think if I had a dozen children I would still feel that way!

topcat2014 · 27/06/2019 22:47

We are adopting (hopefully :)) a 7 y/o boy in August - so I treated myself to a trip to Smiths toys to look at nerf guns today.

Can't wait..

newborn - meh..

Chloe9 · 27/06/2019 22:48

I feel like I can't enjoy my 3rd at all because I'm so sad he's my last.

swimmerforlife · 27/06/2019 23:00

I have two children, I remember when my youngest was about 18 months it was a realisation that I would never have a baby. At the same time I knew another couple years of sleepless nights, nappies more potty training etc would probably break me! When he got to about 3, I was sooo pleased we had passed all that.

But he is 5 now, sure it was lovely having a baby. However now I can see is personality, properly play with him and watch him gain his independence, ditto with DS1. No more bloody prams too thank fuck or having to carry a whole heap of baby shit just to go to the shops.

missanony · 27/06/2019 23:03

Yes, I get it. I miss my newborn but don’t want any more children so will enjoys friends babies instead!

EnidButton · 28/06/2019 00:41

On behalf of people who can't have children at all, get a grip.

NeverGotMyPuppy · 28/06/2019 06:55

@EnidButton I'm very sorry for your troubles but it isn't really fair to put that on OP.

@Aria2015 I think lots of people feel like that no matter how many they have - to be honest I think it explains allot of big families! (I didnt day that was the case for everybody before anybody has a go!) My DS is under a year and I want number 2 but that will be it for us and it's a bit of a scary thought

Limpshade · 28/06/2019 07:15

@EnidButton I'm really sorry that's the case, but it's obvious from OP's title what this thread is about, so if it's a triggering issue for you it's probably best to stay away.

OP, I get it. DD2 has just turned one and that's it for us. However, we just can't afford to give three kids the lifestyle we'd like them to have. And I'll never have to deal with gestational diabetes and months of reflux-related screaming again! So I'm looking forward to the future now and yes, appreciating the two healthy kids I have.

stillworkingitout · 28/06/2019 07:26

Ours are 3 and 5 and some days I ache for a squidgy newborn to sit on the sofa with and feed and watch tv all day long. I’m early 30s so I have time but DH is mid 40s so he has less time (though is keen). Two is the sensible number for us: we like our car, we like our house, we might one day be able to afford private school but definitely couldn’t do 3x fees. I’m just beginning to get my life back. DH travels a lot. We have house renovation on the horizon, and new jobs. I don’t think I’ll ever stop yearning for the peaceful moments with a newborn, but the non-peaceful ones are less alluring. I think it’s normal really.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread