Two potential birthday plans - help me choose!

[SinkGirl]

Posted earlier about my one and only plan and others were unsure whether it was sensible so I now have two possible plans. Please can you help me choose.

DH is turning 40 and I want to do something really special for him - we have twin toddlers with disabilities and life is pretty tough. We are restricted to a full day of nursery (8am to 6pm, that’s opening and closing time so there’s no leeway at all getting there early or late).

His favourite activity is going to nice restaurants and not much else, but anywhere really nice / special is a bit of a trek. He drives and I don’t.

Here are the two options:

Option 1: Luxury forest hotel, spa and lunch

• Drop kids off and drive to hotel
• Light breakfast in the spa
• Mud room for one hour
• 30 minute treatment
• Lunch in the very nice, highly rated restaurant
• Couple of hours in the very nice spa
• Drive home and pick up kids

Option 2a:

• Drop kids off
• Breakfast by the water (nowhere especially fancy)
• Hour long boat cruise to another part of the coast
• 10 minute cab ride to lovely hotel
• Lunch in the very nice, highly rated restaurant
• Picked up from the beach outside hotel by tender
• Head to nice charter boat for 2.5 hour cruise around the coast, go for a swim if we want, and then back to our local area
• Cab home (15 mins) then pick up the kids

Option 2b:

• Cab down to local swanky area by the sea for breakfast
• Get cheap and quick ferry over peninsula
• Walk down the beach to the hotel (it’s about 3 miles so not a quick stroll) or get a cab
• Rest as above

All these options cost roughly the same, except 2B slightly cheaper than 2A

Pros and cons for both

• we haven’t been to any of these places before but they’re all highly recommended and well reviewed
• DH has never been to a spa and we’ve only been on boat trips abroad
• If he doesn’t like being in a spa, option 1 sucks
• If the weather is bad, option 2 sucks (or possibly completely cancelled!)

I think either would be great but I don’t know what to do! Option 2 is obviously more complicated. Option 1 has the risk he hates being in a spa, but there’s only a 30 minute treatment involving a person which he can choose, so I don’t think it can be bad, right? Maybe he might think it’s a weird thing to plan but I think he’d really benefit from the relaxation!

What do you think?

Despite the elaborateness of 2, I'd go for that, purely on the basis that a spa is my idea of hell!

I’d go A

I hate spas and love being outdoors so I'd like either of the non-spa options!

Hmm. Oh I don’t know! Option 2 has a lot more potential to go wrong I suppose, especially if the weather is bad.

What’s wrong with spas? I’m not really a pampering type person but the couple of times I’ve been to one it’s been very relaxing and this is much fancier than the ones I’ve been to in the past.

All options sound great. I’d pick A as I think it sounds the most relaxing. Does the hotel have grounds? Could you go for a walk after lunch instead if DH doesn’t fancy the spa?

My DH wouldn’t think to book a spa for himself, but he has always enjoyed if when we have gone together!

I would go for A

Spa! Me and DH just did this for an anniversary while the kids were at school, after school club and it was the best day. Relaxing and a lovely treat. I do know he likes a spa though.

The more I look into option 2, the more complicated it gets and logistically it could be a nightmare if the weather is bad or the transport we will rely on goes awry. It would be so lovely on a nice day but pretty shit (or cancelled) in bad weather.

I love the idea of a boat charter but maybe this isn’t the time to do it. And maybe we can go to that restaurant with the kids for lunch on a weekend one day, or wait til they’re a bit older and do a boat trip with them.

If he doesn’t want to go back to the spa after lunch, the hotel is in the New Forest so plenty of places we could go for a nice walk but it’s a bit dull for a 40th isn’t it?

I think I’m tying myself in knots mentally because I really want to do something nice for him.

I also think that we will have the car, albeit an hour away, so if there was an emergency at the boys we could get back more easily - out on a boat, possibly bad signal, might not be so easy.

First plan. Keep the travel as simple as possible. I would love this and I enjoy nice restaurants. My DH does too and he'd like the spa. It's not dull, it sounds fun and relaxing.

Surely even if he hates the spa, Option A means a relaxing day in a nice hotel, with a swim, posh lunch, then a book and a drink in the lounge and a stroll if he fancies? Rather than rushing around places, which I suspect you both do quite a lot.

DH and I enjoyed a spa despite not being 'spa people'. It was nice just to stop and chat. We don't usually have time to do that, especially without the kids listening. It was really nice.

I'd definitely go with option a. Mainly because it's weather proof and also because spa days are great.

If it's SenSpa at Careys Manor - I highly recommend it !

It’s not Careys - think restaurant with famous female chef in the name (there aren’t many of those!)

It looks very nice. He can sit in the hot tub if nothing else! I think he will enjoy it though. I think something more straightforward and relaxing is a good idea, too many moving parts and risks with the second plan.

Really want to go to the restaurant in plan 2 but we could potentially all go together for lunch the day before - the restaurant says they welcome kids, but have emailed to check that actually means it’s okay to take twin toddlers, we can go to their outdoor terrace if the weather is nice. The boys are actually very good when we go out to eat but I definitely don’t want to disturb anyone who’s out for a relaxing meal and we have so far avoided taking them anywhere nice for this reason. This place is more of a laidback gastro type place though, so maybe it would be okay.