At Glastonbury and I’ve just had a row with twat in the next tent

[Glasto]

Family camping. Absolutely boiling so brought DD back to the tent to have lunch and sit in the shade for the 12-2 bit. Been out since 9 this morning around the festival.

She’s sat in the foyer bit of the tent reading her kindle when performance parent dad from next door comes back to his tent with his kids.

He spots dd and gives her a jovial “oh come on now you shouldn’t be sat in their on a tablet you’re at Glastonbury”. His kid piped up oh we don’t have our tablets do we daddy. Dad is looking at DD and says come on put it down there’s a whole world out there you’re missing

I popped my head out of the tent and said she’s not on a tablet she’s reading a book. He said it doesn’t look she is, I was hot and pissed off and said it’s a kindle and if she wants to go on her tablet that’s not really your business.

He then goes on a 2 min rant about kids on tablets missing out on life. I told him again she isn’t on a bloody tablet and again, it’s not your business. He then accuses me of being rude and says he was only trying to help and says come on DS let’s leave these two to sit in their tent

They are literally camped 2 ft away from us

Signing in for WankerDad updates.
I also hope his wife was banging the bejeezus out of someone normal the minute the Volvo turned out of their street.

If you wanted to avoid assholes aren’t you in the wrong place?

Yet another reason to avoid avoid avoid. Have fun op. He sounds insecure and showing off to his kids and unpleasant. However don’t let him ruin your glasto. Have fun.

Have you thought about killing him? I reckon murder at a festival would be piss easy, as would hiding the body in a tent for a few days, by which time you’d be home!

Invite him for a G&T/ beer / whatever and spike it with a laxative.

I think he has a point- there is more to life than looking at a tablet but a) he didn't realise that it was a kindle b) you should keep your thoughts to yourself. How old are his children? Is everything 'Awesome' with a stress on the 'Aw', 'oh wow, that was awesome Ottie! ' his face contorted with insincere merriment.

@Goldenbear he doesn’t have a point. It’s fine to have a bit of down time doing exactly as you please, whether that’s reading a book, playing candy crush, or reading threads on Mumsnet.

It’s not his business either. OP and her daughter had been out and about all morning, having half an hour to chill out of the sun is fine. What a bellend.

ooooh, Scousers in the tent next to Wankerdad

Is it you @FazakerlyJackie

Right. One of his kids is called Nora. Anyone want to claim him?

KidzField is open tomorrow. I will document all instances of performance parenting ✌️☮️

One day, when I write my best selling series of cosy crime novels, the suggested "death at a festival" plot will definitely be used....

Have you thought of drawing up a "performance parent" buzzword bingo grid?

(I also used to get that "shouldn't she be outside in the sun having fun rather than having her nose stuck in a book" nonsense when I was a kid. I grew up to be a librarian....Though it is a myth that you get to read books on the job, as it were, as a librarian. Tidy them, order them, catalogue them, recommend them, yes, but not necessarily read them....)

This is doing nothing to change my view of Glastonbury!

I bet he juggles. And tries to show the circus skills folk how it's done. Or a unicycle. Please let it be a unicycle.

Honestly @MyOtherProfile I’m surprised at how unwanky most of the people are. I’m sure there are enclaves of twatrose families around but most people are just normal. I was talking to a woman earlier who has been bringing her kids on the coach from Manchester for the last 4 years. Single mother, no car, works full time and this is their holiday each year.

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow oooooo you’ve reminded me of Diablo dad this morning!

He was explaining the history of Diablo and something about insurance claims and fire to the people running the firetoys shop. His 6/7 year old son showed off his juggling skills in the middle of the shop so people had to move around/away from him 🤦‍♀️

@Greensleeves
Saying that most of the kids who go to Glastonbury are home educated sounds like a stereotype to me.
It’s just my view that’s all

Posting for updates

Just sent that song to my festival loving DH. He loved it.

He has taken children to festivals on his own but I can nearly guarantee he did not indulge in performance parenting. Unless Dad dancing in a field counts.

Haha I have a Diablo story.

During the climate protests DS(25) was walking through Westminster with his crush from work. DS was a Diablo addict one summer as a kid. He borrowed a Diablo from a protester and did an amazing routine of tricks, wowed all the passers by and stole the girl’s heart.

Mind you, me and DH met at Glastonbury 30 years ago, so festival flimmy flammery is probably in DS’s DNA.

And actually, DS’s crush was home educated, so probably unduly susceptible to such things.

@whoamitojudge indeed that would be a stereotype, had I said it.

What I actually said was that "a fair proportion" of the children there would be HE.

I’m aware that parents can opt to home educate.
But 99.9% of children in the UK attend school and their families have no other option, so yes, for the vast majority of the population school is compulsory.

I would disagree that 99.9% of families have no option. Many more families could choose to HE if they wanted to. Some parents live on the breadline/claim benefits and HE, because keeping their kids out of school is important to them. The majority of families look at their circumstances (work, finances etc), their children and their own beliefs and decide that school is the best option. We chose to send ours to school.

So school is "compulsory" for those children whose parents have chosen it. Which is a pretty limited interpretation of the word "compulsory" - the fact is, it's not against the law to keep your children at home (or take them to festivals).