How do misogynists become so entitled?

[Magenta82]

I feel the need to vent a little about the behaviour of someone who applied for a job on my team recently.

I had previously worked in the same office as him, he worked doing something similar to outbound market research and I managed a different team so we didn't have a great deal to do with each other. I know that at one point he was found to be leaving inappropriate notes on their system, they were supposed to note things that would be helpful for the next person, like "X asked not to be contacted by Y was happy to answer" His notes were more along the line of "Z is a nasty smelly witch who refused to answer".

Most of the men liked him, most of the women thought he was nasty. He had a real problem with women especially anyone who was in authority.

One time I asked him to please be a little quieter when he was having a personal conversation right next to someone on the phone for work purposes. He tried to square up to me and when I wasn't intimidated he went back to his desk and emailed me saying something like "that was completely unnecessary, but well done for trying to exert your authority". Basically he was a misogynist who thought all women were beneath him and was allowed to get away with it because his management were ineffective.

I was a little surprised and immediately sure how to reply when he messaged me on LinkedIn asking if there were any vacancies at my company. After taking advice from my manager I messaged him back maybe a week later saying "Thanks for your message, I'm afraid we don't have anything suitable for you. I wish you well in your job search"

In the mean time he had applied for a job on my team and I asked HR to reject his registration.

He messaged me on LinkedIn asking if this mean his application would not progress.

I didn't reply.

The next morning he messaged me again asking for a reply and saying my previous message was patronising.

I didn't reply and he then probably received a rejection email from HR

He then messaged again saying that it was my personal bias rather than him not being suitable and called me a fat bitch.

I reported him to LinkedIn

The next day I received several emails to my work email (not sure how he found it) saying "You're pathetic, go eat a sausage roll you fat cunt!!"

What I want to know is how does anyone become that arrogant and entitled?! what on earth did he think he would achieve?!

It’s red mist rage because you’ve challenged his world view. He’s not hoping to achieve anything as such, except an outlet for your rage and presumably your upset.

He doesn’t really see you as a fully functioning person though so it’s mainly about him having somewhere to throw his toys.

He believes he is superior to you in the same way you’d be pissed off if the neighbours dog blocked your job application.

You're right @AppleKatie he really doesn't see me as a person. I'm sure that being allowed to get away with poor behaviour has made his sense of superiority worse.

I'm mostly amazed that he thought I would hire him though! He would have been a nightmare to manage!

All he has done is confirmed that I made the right decision!

what on earth did he think he would achieve?!

I'm guessing that so far, it's got him what he wants at least 80% of the time so why would he change the habits of a lifetime? Many people simply don't like conflict and step away or disengage from such nasty and entitled persons as this one and so they continue on their merry way, causing havoc whoever they go.

Some time ago, I received an application from what appeared at face value to be a promising employee but something about it was a little off and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I handed it, without comment, to a senior colleague I trusted and asked for her view. She said her antenna were twitching like crazy so I rang the HR manager of the applicant's current employer. After heaving a huge sigh, he said, "I will stick to being factual but I have X's file here in front of me". I asked how big was the file. He said, very carefully, "Big. Huge. It practically covers the whole desk".

No further info needed. The application was stopped dead with a polite letter - and for six months, X bombarded me with registered letters demanding a rethink, a fresh decision, compensation, threatening a tribunal (no entitlement, but that didn't matter) and so on.

It's a shame you are the current target of this man's bile but just think of all the future aggravation you have just saved for yourself and for members of your team.

I have nasty streak, I'd be copying those emails to his current employer - and to the police for harassment, for he sheer hell of it.

God what an absolute dick!

It's part of a deeper cluster b personality disorder. Normal people aren't misogynists and wouldn't speak to people like that. Inform your work and try block all contact with this person because his sorts are obsessive and can be vindictive against those they 'feel' have wronged them.

It just boils down to they are unable to accept a woman in authority or more intelligent and when challenged resort to personal attacks. Only yesterday I was having a discussion about local politics and one guy who had made various ridiculous comments, when I pointed out the error of his argument made a remark along the lines of what I needed to shut me up!

@MyOpinionIsValid

I think if he contacts me again, especially if it is by a different method (meaning he has looked into different ways of getting in touch) I will report it to the police. At the moment HR and our senior management are dealing with blocking him from contacting anyone in the company and are working on a reply.

I may have already forwarded the emails and screenshots of the LinkedIn messages to his current employer...

you could reply once more saying "Thank you for confirming I made the right decision. Not that I was any doubt!"

You could figure out how many of the rules of misogyny you've breached:

www.reddit.com/r/Gender_Critical/comments/6kkeni/the_rules_of_misogyny/

I may have already forwarded the emails and screenshots of the LinkedIn messages to his current employer..

Haha good. Probably not wise. But good xD

@TeaForTheWin thanks for the info, I've just looked up Cluster B personality disorders and as much as I don't want to diagnose someone it is amazing how many of the narcissistic traits he has demonstrated!

As soon as I told my boss she jumped on the case and is dealing with it, she is fab! She was horrified on my behalf and felt I shouldn't have to deal with sorting any of it out myself.

You have helped your employer dodge a massive bullet there. Well done!

Yeh npd seems to be pretty rife these days and you don't need a doctorate to spot it lol. Just keep yourself safe! I'm glad your boss is taking things seriously, as there's nothing worse than people making excuses for these sorts.

It was for entirely selfish reasons @floribunda18 it would have been me who had to manage him!

I think he has realised how badly he has fucked up.

He sent me this:

Dear Magenta,
I apologise for my offensive messages, both on Linkedin and via email.
I overstepped the line, and am sorry for doing so.
I have no excuse for my behaviour, and can only hold my hands up for being a dick.
HisFirstName

The people at work responsible for answering the phones have been told not to take his calls and one of them told me that his LinkedIn profile has disappeared, I don't know if he did this or he was banned.

😂good even better he can feel the full force of his embarrassing behaviour

I can only assume he has 'mommy issues'. Crap parenting model and grew up watching his dad treating his mum like shit.

Pathetic little twunt, hope he doesn't have a DW/DP

Last time I had any info about his personal life he was buying a house with a woman, this was about 5 years ago now and I have no idea if they are still together. I can't imagine putting up with him voluntarily!