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Has your child ever said they're rubbish at everything?

5 replies

dameofdilemma · 27/06/2019 12:13

Dd (7) came home from school and said she was rubbish at everything and had no 'talent'.

I was a bit flummoxed. I tried to say it's not true and say the things she's good at (being kind to friends, reading/writing stories etc).

She just listed out all the things that other children are better at, running (sports day coming up), art, doing cartwheels, dancing, football etc.

I said you don't have to be good at everything, just try your best etc.
No idea what else to say??

The kids seem to be comparing themselves against each other so much this year, guess it's normal?

She does some after school clubs and swimming. She's not amazing at anything but she generally enjoys it, that's enough isn't it?
Shes normally happy and confidant and likes school so hoping it's just a phase...

OP posts:
HippyTrails · 27/06/2019 12:18

DSS often says things like this or i'd like to do bla bla bla but i'd probably mess it up. It's quite sad really.

We usually point out what he's good at & remind him of the fact that when he was younger he was rubbish at reading & writing & now writes stories & comics just because he enjoys it & is really good at it because he kept practicing

FloorOfDespair · 27/06/2019 12:21

Yes, mine say this. Often it's because someone has laughed at them in class. There's not much you can do except remind them what they are food at and how they have improved with effort.

DS also went through a phase saying his work would never be as good as X's and didn't want to go to school. I asked when I would get to see X's work. He looked confused and said "Never." I said "exactly!" and that I didn't care what X's work was like because I would never see it and all I wanted to know was that he had tried his best.

dameofdilemma · 27/06/2019 12:27

Think it's not been helped by a party where each child took turns to do a dance/cartwheel in front of everyone. Dd didn't want to do it (which is obvs fine) and then got upset that she didn't...

They're becoming so aware of who's cool (girls doing dance/gym, boys doing footie apparently).
But then dd says all those girls seem to do at playtime is argue and cry anyway 🙄

OP posts:
dameofdilemma · 27/06/2019 12:28

Not to say that all kis who do those activities are necessarily like that or anything. Think it's just kids perceptions.

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catinavan · 27/06/2019 12:31

I’ve had this yes, I think the key is to emphasise the effort they’re making - someone referred to it as praising the process not the end result or something. My child hasn’t found that one thing she excels at naturally but I’ve talked to her about how rare it is to be naturally ‘good’ at something, and banged on forever about showing up, practicing daily (for music), having a good attitude etc and how in the end these things count far more than natural talent

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