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Single parent, small children, work, any tips on how to manage it all?

9 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 26/06/2019 22:28

Because I'm exhausted. And hi only work 3 days a week. 3 consecutive days, out of the house for 11 hours, 12 and 12 hours. Which is fine for me on my own but how do you stop the children from being exhausted too? They don't get enough sleep, are rushed out of the house in the mornings (I try to make it as relaxed as I can) and into bed at night. Today we got home at 7.45pm which was a bit earlier than usual, but need to leave the house at 7.35am tomorrow which is the 3rd day. They'll be tried, cranky, and plonked in front of shite tv while I get ready to stop them crying and shouting. They are 2 and nearly 4 .

Any words of wisdom, tips, advice, offers of around £30000 to make my life easier?

OP posts:
Sparrowlegs248 · 26/06/2019 22:30

I realise I'm lucky to only work 3 days. I can't imagine how we'd all manage with 5 .

OP posts:
Pogmella · 26/06/2019 23:38

Probably will get flamed but when I was FT working single mum with a 1yo I put her in leggings and T-shirt for bed that she then wore to nursery the next day (no arguments about clothes). She had crumpets or toast in the buggy on the walk in and as she ate things like roast dinners at nursery a small snacky tea like scrambled eggs that if she only picked at I tried not to fuss about too much. She only did nursery 3 days a week (I worked compressed hours) so I justified to myself that over half the week I was feeding and clothing her to a standard I was happier with- this was just a compromise on nursery days.

It was still incredibly tough but at least in the mornings I could focus on getting myself dressed and basically plonking her in the buggy.

I also asked to work from home 1 day a week- is that an option? Then I dropped my hours when she got her free hours entitlement.

It was a tough year or so- whatever gets you through!

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/06/2019 06:52

Thanks, I can't work from home in afraid though that would help enormously. Driving home last night I actually considered putting them to bed as they were, or in the next days clothes.

OP posts:
Pogmella · 27/06/2019 07:28

I felt bad about it at the time as I was already doing it and read a thread on here where some ppl had really strong views on it- she’s nearly 4 now and wears clean PJs every night so it wasn’t forever! Sounds like with 2 of them you should maybe focus on making it as easy as possible just for those 3 days a week, it will get easier as they get older.

TeachesOfPeaches · 27/06/2019 07:35

Hi OP, I'm single parent to a 3 year old and work full time. One thing that helped enormously was NO tv in the morning - I noticed his behaviour improved dramatically. He used to have major tantrums all the way to the childminders (we get the bus) but they stopped once I stopped tv.

gingerfoxcub · 27/06/2019 07:44

Single mum to 2&4 year old but I’m only out about 10 hours.

My kids get dinner (which is prepped or made on weekend), half hr of tv, then bath and into tomorrow’s clothes (all of which are organised and already in daily piles).

In the morning I’m up and get ready before I wake them, then get them up and put shoes on and go.

They go to care 4 days and can sleep in the other days and the first day after care is usually a quiet mooch at home Day.

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/06/2019 22:03

@TeachesOfPeaches I've started letting them watch in the mornings so I can get ready in peace and quickly. So e mornings there were great, playing nicely, and other mornings I spent the whole time walking back and forth to referee. Now, only on work days, they have to brush teeth, get dress3d, hair, then can sit on the bed with milk and dry cereal and watch while I get myself sorted. It's shaved about 30 minutes off t the getting ready time! They are, so far, behaving about it but I'm pretty no nonsense. Any dicking about and I switch it off.

@gingerfoxcub I wish I could get up before them but they seem to have a sixth sense. No matter how quiet I am they still wake up seconds after I leave my bed. So I tend to stay in bed as long as possible so they stay asleep! They are knackered as it is. We have stay at home Saturday's to chill out.

OP posts:
flumaflower · 27/06/2019 22:26

is there a way you can cut down on work at all? doing similar nearly killed me, in the end I thought it wasn't worth it and cut back. Financially it's not ideal but you can get tax credits and things if your income is lower. Just for a couple of years?

Littlemisslists · 27/06/2019 23:26

Lower your standards and pay for outside help if you can.

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