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Sad and worried about DS (7)

8 replies

susan82 · 26/06/2019 19:40

Hello,
Just wanted some advice and reassurance really. DS (year 2) has had his issues at school (we are currently awaiting a diagnosis of some sort, we've been fighting to get him appropriate support for over 2 years). School suggested him attending alternative provision 3 days a week and returning his mainstream school twice a week and to be with his regular Y2 class so he still feels a part of it. Initially we were apprehensive of the alternative provision but after a few weeks of him being there it does look like its a good idea and is beneficial for him. I'm planning on holding lots of play dates over the summer to keep him in touch with classmates and we've already taken a couple of them out for day trips. He's mainly been quite popular despite his suspected SN.
So yesterday he returned to mainstream school for the day and said he spent playtime alone crying on a bench as his classmates just ran off and ignored him. Even a little girl who he has been good friends with since Reception ran past him with other children. He was bewildered and confused and told me he now hates going back to his class and prefers it at the alternative provision! He always loved school and was happy and always had someone to play with but it seems him going to the alternative provision has ruined his friendships at the other school. Seems it's out of sight out of mind in a way! The other kids didn't even acknowledge he had returned.
I'm so sad and worried about it.
He said to me yesterday "what is wrong with me mummy, why aren't I like the other children?" and my heart almost shattered. He's a lovely, bright and happy boy and kind hearted. We suspect he's on the spectrum with possible PDA. Any reassurance or advice welcome. Thank you

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susan82 · 26/06/2019 19:46

Ps sorry fo the long post. Tried to provide as much detail as possible yet tried to keep it concise

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ChipInTheSugar · 26/06/2019 20:20

Have you spoken to his school about it? I suspect as you say it is very much out of sight out of mind, and the friendship groups continue to grow when he is not there. My DS went through something similar before leaving for an alternative placement.

What's happening in the future? Will he continue the 3/2 split?

susan82 · 26/06/2019 20:27

Thanks for the reply. He will continue this 3/2 split until Christmas then slowly be reintegrated back into his usual primary from then on. When he went back after the first day the kids were delighted to see him but now he's being cold shouldered. I'm trying not to read too much into it as I know how kids can be very changeable at this age with friendships. I've spoken to the teacher and she said she'd keep an eye on it.

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susan82 · 26/06/2019 20:28

Chipinthesugar, how did your son find the alternative placement, did he settle OK? It's so worrying for us mums isn't it

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whiteroseredrose · 26/06/2019 20:38

Being there PT when others are FT can be a problem. Kids develop other friendships and your DS will be missing stuff that the others keep talking about.

No suggestions really. My DS had this at nursery. His friend was another girl who only did 3 days per week too.

susan82 · 26/06/2019 23:43

Whiterose this is what has me worried. I'll have a few meet ups over the summer holidays with his friends to help these friendships he has

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ChipInTheSugar · 27/06/2019 14:28

He was 5/5 days at the alternative provision, but still wanted to see his old friends after school etc. unfortunately it became more and more difficult to keep up those friendships and over the last 12months pretty much all of them have faded away Confused

susan82 · 28/06/2019 10:29

Chipinthesugar, oh bless him. 😔
I've spoken to the other mums of his closer friends and we've all said we'll meet up but I know it probably won't be a realistic thing to keep it going forever. He does Beavers and Taekwondo with some school friends so this will hopefully help

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