Funniest overheard conversations?

[KatherineJaneway]

Was at the vets this weekend and there was a young boy with his Dad in the waiting room with a cat in a box, no dog (this is relevant). I had to wait while the person in front was served and it took some time. Couldn't help overhearing their conversation as I waited, it went like this:

Dad: Did you just fart?
Boy: No, it was not me
Dad: I think it was you
Boy: It wasn't meee! It was the dog.
Dad: I think it was you. I recognize that smell, it's half Mummy and half Daddy.

The two of us in the queue had to stifle the giggles.

Have you overheard any conversations that made you laugh?

Yes. In Pizza Hut ladies toilet once. I was washing my hands and could hear a mum and toddler daughter chatting behind one of the cubicle doors. I heard the little girl ask her mum "why have you got hairs on your fairy?"
I had to stifle a full on belly laugh until I got outside!!

I used to have a bus stop right outside my bedroom window. If I was lying in bed, my head would literally be about 15 cm from people waiting for the bus. People who often assumed they were alone...

Once I was trying to ignore two friends having a clearly private late night chat. I accidentally farted. There was a sudden, deep silence. Then one of them said 'what was THAT?!'

Stood at the til in TK maxx waiting to be served, with a woman of about 70s and her husband in front trying to pay for a basket of stuff and the woman on the till picked out one of those soft sleep bras to scan, size medium.

Customer asks worker what bra size she thought medium equated to? Old guy eye rolling at the side of his wife. Wife gives him the look! Woman on til reads label of 3/4 possible size combinations it might fit.

Wife: 'Oh I'll need another size then won't I Albert? Hmmm. Oh dear. I didn't realise it told you sizes, I didn't see that on the label'.
Husband: 'well if you wore your glasses, you'd see these things!'
Wife: 'well if I'd worn them 52 years ago we wouldn't be having this conversation!'

High five!

😂

These are really outing but here goes.

At the coliseum in Rome:
American lady 1: the gladiators used to fight tigers
American lady 2: oh, are tigers native here then?

On a bus through Manchesters China town at Chinese New Year:
American lady: look at those lights
American lady 2: are they the Northern lights?
American lady: I think they are.

In a New York steak house:
Woman: I'm vegan, what can I eat
Waiter: I can ask the chef to saute the spinach and mushrooms without butter
Woman: I can't eat mushrooms, I'm vegan

Appears they are all about Americans...

Last week I attended an evening wedding reception for the son of a neighbour. Another neighbour turned up with her son and his girlfriend this lady introduced the girlfriend to the grooms parents by at first saying it's Sons lady friend then she turned to the girl and said to her what's your name again, my son has had lots of girls which one are you.

DNAwrangler.... you don't live in a village in Hertfordshire by any chance?......

No Allergic, in USA. Why, do you hear random farting while waiting for your bus

Standing in the centre of Seoul.

American behind me, presumably just arrived.

"Wow, I didn't expect there would be so many Japanese people here! Look how many there are."

Still baffled by that.

At a station once. Sat next to an elderly couple off for a break. Wife was looking at details of the hotel.
I suddenly saw all the colour drain from her face...
"Darling I don't think I want to stay at this hotel any more..."
"It looked so lovely dear, what's the matter???"
"It's been on something called 4 in a Bed. We aren't into things like that are we???"
Husbands face fell too until I gently explained it was like Come Dine With Me but for guest houses and they relaxed. 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁

@ Elderflower14
That's hilarious, it's made my day!!!!! 🤣

At a children's farm in the hatchery and I overheard two women with their children discussing the eggs in the incubator.

Woman 1: so how come these eggs hatch into chicks and the ones you buy from the supermarket don't?

Woman 2: I think it's because supermarket eggs are laid outdoors and only eggs that are laid indoors have chicks in them.

Nothing to do with fertilisation then? (And yes, I know some fertilised eggs make it into the food chain)

Haha @Burlea that reminds me of something DH's Nan said to me when we visited her in hospital after having a stroke.

DH: And this is my wife Limpshade, Nan, do you remember?
NaN: Oh of course I remember you, darling, I've met all of his women

She was a wonderful lady, though not the most tactful!

Overheard on bus "of course, what a lot of people don't know is that a Mynah bird has to sleep in a paper bag". ???? No, me neither.

Funny only because it was so completely random...years ago, overheard snippet of conversation from two guys as they walked past "so you know, that was EXACTLY why I'd been saying they should have done a trial run with a pineapple first!" I just wish I could have heard the sentence before to have some sort of context!

On a bus in Glasgow many years ago, a small, cross boy to his mum : "If you don't let me have it, I'll tell everyone you pee in the sink!"

Last week I passed a man and a woman and heard, 'well it's sod' s law isn't it? She replied, 'no, actually it's Newton's law.'. I wanted to hear the previous sentence.