"Sleep when the baby sleeps" but how do I wake up when the baby wakes up?!

[Nobhobs]

36 weeks pregnant with my first, and I keep getting the advice to sleep when the baby sleeps.

My question is that's all well and good but how do I wake up when the baby wakes up? I always assumed you'd wake up when they cry but midwife said by the time they're crying they're too hungry so watch out for earlier signs. So when the baby falls asleep, and I want to sleep too.. what do I do? Do you set an alarm?

Don’t worry, you’ll wake up.
Mine never cry at night because I wake up as soon as they start making little awake noises rather than little asleep noises.

First of all - don't worry.
You will never be able to prevent them from crying due to hunger. When you're both awake - great, pick up on those early cues. But sometimes they'll just wake up hungry. And they'll let you know.

When mine were tiny, I used to set an alarm for every 3 hours so they didn't go too long without feeding. I don't think I ever needed it as they always beat the clock!

So - just sleep when you can, they'll almost certainly let you know.

Well when baby sleeps it’s a good chance to do the stuff you need to! But if I ever did nap when baby did I usually did wake up before. You should have a schedule anyway so can anticipate when baby may be hungry. And don’t be afraid to wake baby up if sleeping too long especially in the day!

I just woke up when they cried and fed them then. They were absolutely fine.

You’re not going to sleep every time the baby sleeps! Newborns do a lot of short cat naps so it’s not like you’re going to always be asleep when they are. If you feed to sleep and their nap lasts 45 minutes (v normal for a small baby), even if you decide to sleep too, upon waking they won’t be due another feed yet anyway. Also, there’s usually a lot of grunting and other noises that will wake you up before it escalates to crying anyway. You’re definitely overthinking it!

Don't worry.
There's crying and there's crying.

If they've just hollered and started grizzling it'll wake you up and they'll be fine.

The baby will be next to you so you will definitely wake up!

If the baby is near you you will almost certainly hear when they begin to whinge and squirm.

If shes talking about not letting a newborn go more than 4hrs without a feed, just set an alarm for the max time to wake you. We had to with DD as she was low birth weight and went to special care. It worked fine. She mostly woke before the 4hr mark anyway.

The baby will wake you, don't worry about that.

Whilst it’s most likely you will wake up, it might be worth setting an alarm just in case. With my first baby, the night we took him home, he slept nine hours. I had always been told - never wake a sleeping baby. I didn’t know they had to feed so often. I thought nine hours was incredible and I needed it after being awake for almost three days!

The next day the MW came round and asked how many feeds he’d had through the night. I told her none and she was horrified. He hadn’t woken because he’d been so sleepy because he was hungry :(

Sooooooo whilst it’s highly likely your baby will wake you/ you will wake up, it’s worth setting a just-in-case alarm. None of my other children needed so you know 🤷🏻‍♀️😆

Your hormones do weird things, you'll wake to the slightest grizzle. For the next 6 years.

If you breastfeed, your boobs would also wake you up when it's time for a feed as they get full and sore!

You will wake up.

My babies have hardly ever cried at night in the first 3 months, because they were in bed with me and I woke as soon as they did, before they ever let out a cry, so they'd be feeding before they had time to start grizzling. (Let me be very clear, this did not mean they did not cry plenty in the daytime for other reasons.) Generally you are very attuned to your baby and as soon as they wake, so will you. Your baby also will cry from hunger sometimes and that is fine. What your midwife is saying is not to wait unnecessarily until a baby is really wailing if you can pick up the cues earlier.

Sometimes in the early weeks you do have to set an alarm at night to wake the baby to feed if they're very sleepy or there is any reason to think they might not be gaining weight well, but you never have to worry about waking when the baby wakes if you're sleeping in the same room.

Definitely agree, your hormones do strange things and you will wake when baby makes so much as a peep.

If breastfeeding you will wake up as your boobs will get uncomfortable, for piece of mind at the start though you could set yourself a little alarm, but I think you will find you really don't need it.

I've actually slept through a pneumatic drill on the floor below me but when DD so much as sniffles I wake up. I guess it's just instinct but dont worry you'll wake!

Thanks all, good to know! I'm really overthinking everything I'm sure but it's a rather overwhelming time

I often feel the urge to point out on any first-time mum thread like this that women have been birthing and raising babies for millennia, well before any baby books or perinatal advice classes were around - instinct, common sense and the aforementioned hormones will step in to fill any gaps in your knowledge. Sometimes all these conflicting recommendations serve to do is muddy the waters, and ignorance is bliss. Not to mention that a huge proportion of 'relevant' advice will depend on what kind of baby you end up with.

I dare you to look back at this thread in 6 months!

My baby only slept in the sling or car for months. No sleeping while baby slept for me!!

Congratulations

I've just had the best laugh I've had in AGES!

I slept with my babies in a bedside crib and it’s amazing how you tune into them and wake up when they do, or usually just before they do. You body is so attuned to theirs. They don’t need to cry to wake you usually.

You totally will wake up before they cry. I woke up at DS’s snuffly gurgling and had his bottle ready before he’d even woken up properly!

I hate that saying.
Mine wouldn't sleep unless I was pushing the pram

This reminds me of a funny meme;

Sleep when your baby sleeps......

Fold laundry when your baby folds laundry

I totally did take naps with the baby when I had my second, and I should have done it with my first. It doesn't always work, but that doesn't make it terrible advice. Cosleeping naps work a treat.

I had stupid ideas with my first about how I had to do shit around the house and "show I was coping" or some bollocks when I should have been getting the sweet sweet SLEEP.