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Original poster

What age would you leave Dc alone?

16 replies

Darksideofthemoon19 · 26/06/2019 10:26

Left dd11 and ds10 home a few times for an hour or so while I do the food shop. Also gave them a key to let themselves in if I’m running late after school etc. Both have an iPad/phone that they contact me on (mostly to ask for snacks!) but both spend their time in their rooms.

I need to go into the nearest town on Saturday. Il be gone probs 3-4 hours. They are point blank refusing to come. I don’t know what to do! The neighbor is normally the go to person if there would ever be an emergency.

Iv asked them and they want to stay at home but I feel sick and the thought!

Wwyd 😩

OP posts:

newmomof1 · 26/06/2019 10:31

It depends on the individual child. If you feel sick at the thought of leaving them, then don't.

underneaththeash · 26/06/2019 11:15

I leave mine for an hour or so in year 6 (so 10/11) for my summer borns. I’ve only started leaving DS(13) for 3-4 hours recently. I think they’re too young yet.

Bumblenut · 26/06/2019 11:27

My DC are 12 and 9. I will leave the 9 year old her older brother if I’m popping somewhere within walking distance and back in half an hour. She’s also allowed to go to the park but only with her brother.

I’ll leave the 12 year old for a couple of hours, including if I’m going somewhere which requires a car.

We stay in touch regularly with mobile phones.

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Delatron · 26/06/2019 11:31

If you’re going to spend the four hours stressed and worried then don’t leave them. It’s an individual thing and every child is different. Can you offer them a nice lunch in town as a treat?

I think the trick is to build up the time and the trust. So one hour for a while, then see how they are with two etc.

Hecateh · 26/06/2019 13:14

I think that so long as the kids aren't likely to fight whilst you are gone and the neighbour is aware that they are there alone they will be fine. I found it was easier at that age as they take the responsibility seriously so it works fine.
I found it worse when they were 15 and 16 to be honest as they were more likely to try and take advantage of the situation and have their friends round.

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 26/06/2019 13:20

I think 3-4 hrs for an 11 and 10 yr old is too young. Do they get on? My 10 yr old is allowed to walk home etc and would be ok on her own for a short while but she can be trusted. I'd never leave her alone with DS 7, they would kill each other!!😂😂

You are the parent. They cannot refuse to come. They simply have to! Assert your role. Promise a treat afterwards.

BentNeckLady · 26/06/2019 13:24

I was happy for dd to be left when she was 11. Da is now 10 and I can’t imagine being happy to leave him for a good while yet. It depends entirely on the child.

needsomesleepy · 26/06/2019 13:27

I need to go into the nearest town on Saturday. Il be gone probs 3-4 hours. They are point blank refusing to come. I don’t know what to do!

Hmm. I wouldn't leave them because they were refusing to go. I would leave them if I felt they would be ok, but because they made a stand? No way. Wrong reason to start leaving them. They do as they are told at that age, not what they want.

MyOpinionIsValid · 26/06/2019 13:51

10 and 11 year olds do not get to make decsions like that.

puffylovett · 26/06/2019 14:04

I leave my 9 and 12 year old together for an hour or two, but only as long as I’m confident an argument won’t break out. They also go out on bikes together locally. We stay in touch by phone.
However the eldest is very sensible and is forced to be somewhat independent due to catching a public bus to the next town for high school.

If I wasn’t comfortable leaving them, I would insist that at the least the youngest comes and if they are going to kick up a stink then they lose Xbox priveliges.
You are the adult and it’s your decision. Don’t give in for an easy life! Easier said than done, I know well!

Original poster

Darksideofthemoon19 · 26/06/2019 14:25

They get on really well tbh, they are both mature and don’t mess aorund

OP posts:

cocomelon23 · 26/06/2019 14:39

No that's too long for me.

TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt · 26/06/2019 15:15

I've a very sensible 15 yo who I started leaving alone for an hour aged 11/12. I wouldn't have left her for longer than that.

She now stays home every other Saturday night as I stay at DP's and she doesn't want to come (even though his children are there too!) I've only started doing this a few months ago.

TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt · 26/06/2019 15:16

Agree with others, they do what you tell them to. End of discussion.

TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt · 26/06/2019 15:17

(end of your discussion with them, not us )

BrieAndChilli · 26/06/2019 15:22

Well I leave my 12 year old on his own for 2 hours after school a couple of days a week, he also has stayed home for 6-7 hours on the odd day in the holidays when I am at work.
There’s isn’t any childcare for secondary aged children around here and the couple do sports clubs that there are silly hours 10-3 plus the fact that he isn’t sporty in any shape or form and prefers to read and draw maps.
He is very sensible though and wouldn’t break a rule ever. We’ve been over different scenarios and emergencies so he know what to do.
DD will be going to secondary in September so she will also be coming home from school with him. She’s much more practical than him but more likely to run a big bill chatting to her friends on the phone!

Does make me laugh that people won’t leave a 13 year old alone yet when we weee that age half of us were babysitting toddlers!!

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