If a nearly 15 wants to 'go into care' what will happen?

[AnonymousAdopter]

Posting for a friend, details will be brief.

Friends DD has been quite troubled for a few years.
Parents divorced.
Anger issues including past violence to family members.
SS and police involved previously.
Won't engage with counselling.
Mum lovely but struggling to cope.

The DD says she wants to 'go into care'.
Suspect she is imagining FC family nearby and everything sweetness and light.

I suspect would need parental Section 20, and at this age could end up either a long way from home (what would happen with school who have been very supportive), or in some kind of children's home? I fear this outcome, but Mum can't cope if behavior ongoing.

Also suspect behavior not yet 'bad enough' for SS to want to spend their limited resources.

It is highly unlikely that she will be taken into care because she wants to. And is she was it would be somewhere like the ymca or a residential unit which would put her at risk no doubt.
sounds like she needs a referral to camhs and social care.

This happened to my friend, her daughter kept running away (15) to be with her older boyfriend( in his 20’s with 4 kids). Friend pretty much had her hands tied with the situation. The daughter ended up in a children’s home many miles away from her family and home, and still continued to run away and meet up with boyfriend. It made things worse. SS eventually asked her to take the daughter back, friend refused as daughter by this time was completely off the rails and she had younger children at home. The shit storm took years to sort out. Friend is now bringing up the resulting child. SS caused a lot of harm in her situation. They basically told her she was a shit mother, until they wanted to place the baby with her, then they couldn’t do enough. Sorry for your friends situation but I would avoid ss involvement at this stage. Daughter will be able to run wild in care.

harry As I understand it, currently won't engage with CAMHS.

state What you describe is what I fear also.

Mum needs to try to sort this herself.seriously .no good will come of agencies involved.
Camhs referral again.a different person in camhs .
Probably a lot to do with the divorce,older kids see more ,remember more.
Mum needs to hold it together till she’s at least left school.once she’s at college with more freedom things often settle down

It won’t be the YMCA at 15, it’s likely to be residential care and it won’t be anything like she’s imagining.

What is her mums take on this? I work in a supported housing service (similar to YMCA) for children between 16-21 who are all looked after or leaving care, it’s not an easy path at all. Is social worker still involved?

Early help will be offered.

Post 16 in the most severe situations supported lodgings might be offered but only after other options explored.

I went into care at 14. First of all to a b&b for 3 days, then into a residential unit. I Was there for a few weeks, then sent to a placement over 100 miles away. I didn't have a school place for 7 months and was only allocated 6 hours weekly after that at a PRU.

Obviously every situation and outcome is different but personally, I would help her explore every avenue of support before getting to foster care.

Sorry nothing to add apart from my best wishes to the family and hopes that it all works out.

I asked to be taken into care when I was a teenager. Eventually I was taken seriously and ended up in residential for two years! It was a nightmare, I had no idea what I was asking for and didn't expect anyone to take any notice - but they did.

It's a shame that your friend's daughter is so unhappy and behaving so badly but there must be a way to help other than her going into care.

Thank you all. You have confirmed what I was thinking. So I know at least I'm not spouting rubbish to my friend.
After my original post things hit a bit of a crisis so I hope at least that some more help might be forthcoming.