New child causing issues at school

[boble1]

Hi

My DS 9 has a best friend (girl) and they have been very close for 4 years.

New boy joins and is determined to have the friend as his own.

Tells my DS to make new friends and has been overheard saying he will split my DS and his friend up. He sticks like glue to her, she has described him as "sticky"!

I spoke to the teacher and she said my son can play with his best friend 3 times a week and the new boy can play her the best friend 2 times a week.

Seems a little unfair I think? This situation will push my child's friendship apart and will reinforce the new boy's friendship with her.

I'm going to see the teacher in the morning to say this isnt fair, anything else I can say?

Tell her your child will play with who they want when they want.

I know, but the teacher said he's not allowed to play with his best friend for 2 days because the new boy wants to.

The only person whose opinion matters is that of the little girl. SHE plays with who she wants to, when she wants to. Not up to the teacher to interfere if this girl is not causing any distress to anyone. No-one is a possession to be passed around or belonging to another individual.

Its not for the teacher to interfere. I agree with @bluetrews25

Surely it’s up to the girl to decide who she wants to play with.

Yes, the little girl is quite meek and won't tell the new boy she doesnt want to play with him. He sticks to her and she doesnt like it.

The girl bumped into a group of classmates in the park and again, the boy would not leave her alone.

Im angry at the teacher for saying who can play with who at what time. So who is my son supposed to play with?

How bizarre. What do the girls parents think?

Myself and her mum are quite good friends and she said the girl doesnt really like the boy, she called him "sticky" as he's always glued to her. She is meek though and wont tell the teacher.

I understand it is difficult to start a new school.

I feel my son is being punished by not being able to play with his best friend, the girl is being made to play with someone she doesnt want to and the new boy gets what he wants!

Teacher is totally wrong time slotting children's playmates. How does the girls mother feel, what if the girl wants to play with someone completely else in the future. Kids change their mind all the time who they play with and children's relationships evolve and change, teachers can't dictate who they have to play with it's for them to decide and control as its all part of growing up and managing relationships. I'd take it higher in the school and say you disagree.

My son and the girl are best buds but of course, they go off and play with others or in a larger group but this boy is adamant he wants the girl for himself.

TBH, the more I think about it, the more angry Im getting - how dare a teacher tell a child who they can or cannot play with, or what day or time.

I know this is how the school deals with these issues as unbelievably, it happened to my daughter and she was picked on by a new kid (who ironically had been bullied in a previous school) for 3 years! My poor daughter had specials days when she could play with her best friend and other times, she had to keep away!

This really is an issue for the girl's parents to raise as it is their daughter who is being asked to play with him when she does not want to. It is an issue of consent. Fair enough ask them as a group to include the boy but she should not be expected to not play with other friends to keep the boy happy. It does not send a good message for later life.

Having said that you say So who is my son supposed to play with? could the teacher think that the two of them need to be a bit more independent of each other?

The teacher has absolutely no right to tell any child who they must play with . Talk to the girl’s parents and advise them to also approach the school .

The teacher wants the girl to do what a new boy wants to do even though she doesn’t want to do it . I’m angry on your behalf. Please do talk to the other parents and approach the school together . This is not on !

TheBrockmans

I did say they play within a larger group and with others away from each other.

My issue with who my son is supposed to play with is that I feel he is being pushed out for no reason, he is not being able to play as normal as the new child wants to take his place.

Purpletigers

Thank you!