Should I Grey or should I go?? (Keep ditching the dye or give up?)

[Spacecadet43]

That's it really I stopped dyeing my hair 9 months ago after having box dye reactions to the dark brown dyes whilst trying to cover my grey, then coping with my hair thinning massively on top after a pregnancy and bad bleach job and finally getting fed up of having to use vegetable dyes which lasted 10 days max.

I had the dye cut out and a pixie to start with but I'm growing it out and it's bushy and steely grey at the back and thin silver on top!! I've tried styling out with scarves etc but I'm fed up with them tbh. I have a big family event soon with professional photography etc and I just feel old beyond my years tbh as I'm mid 40s. Was trying to persevere as wanted to see what it's like longer and back in my old style but I'm so fed up. Does anyone know if it's possible to add ashy highlights or liven up the dull dark salt and pepper at the back? Also it's taking an age to grow. I'm perimenopausal and have underactivd thyroid too so don't think that's helping the thin on top situ. Can't bear the thought of going back to box dyes and sores on my scalp though!!
Sorry for long post - any fellow grey girls with advice?

I had mine dyed my natural colour underneath, and then had grey highlights put in. After 3 months I had more highlights put in, and haven't had it dyed since as my grey has come through on its own, and it has blended well as it has all grown out. My hairdresser was shocked when I asked for it to be done as I'd had a lovely reverse ombre done a couple of months before, but at €175 a pop for colour and cut and roots only coming in slightly cheaper, it was getting too expensive.

I wasn't sure at first, but love it now. I just make sure it is well cut.

I made the decision to grow mine out, and accept that my hair is grey now. I've found it strangely empowering after so many years of dyeing it! And now I can use whatever shampoo I want, rather than ones specifically for dyed hair, and also my hair feels softer.

I’ve been grey/white since my 30s. I keep the colour as clear as possible with shampoo for white hair and I get a very good cut. I get stopped in the street with compliments on my hair so going grey needn’t be the end.

I'm also embracing the grey. I am half n half at the moment in a short bob. I think I might get some lowlights once I see it all grown out, but it's a total relief to have escaped the tyranny of roots and poor condition.

Your hair being thinner on top: are you taking thyroid meds?

In the meantime:

• hair thickening shampoos (the ones that stimulate growth - contain caffeine I think)
• tinted hair mouse

For the special occasion with your family you could wear a wig or hair piece.

There is a poster on here who wears different wigs all the time and she looks fab.

Thank you so much for the responses - it's a difficult one as the style it's in now is very unflattering as I'm trying to grow it out, but part of me wants to grit teeth and wait it out. I was getting the back trimmed every few weeks to avoid mullet situ but it's not really grown much in length at the back and idea is to grow the top and sides down then cut into a short bob and grow. I have naturally thick hair it's just these thinner patches on top but not that noticable to others and no bald patches etc. I was hoping to have a long side fringe but it's just growing very slowly on top. Just about long enough now to put a nice hair clip in. I think the main issues are the two tone grey and the style which I'm stuck with til it grows out! I wondered about lowlights too to blend colours but nervous about making things look worse! Seems a very trivial thing to be moaning about but I guess I'm going through a confidence crisis with it! Some women look fantastic on going grey I just don't feel it applies to me. Hmmmmm.

And yes I'm on thyroid meds have been for over 20 years but guess I'm due a test of my thyroid levels.

I stopped colouring my hair a few years ago as everything made my scalp sore. Hairdresser recommended Milkshake Silver shine shampoo, she used it herself and was a great ad for it.
I was amazed at the difference it made. It turned all the salt and pepper into lovely ashy highlights.
I also use root thickener spray which gives my fine wispy hair a lot more body and texture.