MIL not respecting me!!!

[Molosa4]

Hi Ladies,

I’m coming to vent as I’m so tired of my MIL not respecting me as a parent. I’ve called her up on it before and she decided not to talk to me for over a week. She acts like my baby is her son. He’s 9 months old and today we went over for a visit. I had made bub some food and when we got there pulled it out and she said she would feed him, however she then fed him what she wanted to feed him instead then started feeding him the food I made him and over the course of the next few hours she then starting feeding him all this other food without consulting me. At one stage I didn’t know where my son had gone and found them I’m the kitchen with the door shut and she was standing, holding him and feeding him.
I’ll just add that when I’m at the MIL house I let her play with my son and my partner and I go grocery shopping and run errands,
hence why I only see my son at short time when I’m there.
I really just want to be consulted.
Am I being unreasonable?

YANBU!

You're the parent here and you need to take back control. If she can't be trusted to follow your rules with your son, she shouldn't be unsupervised with him. Take him with you to do your errands instead. If she throws a strop when you pull her up on it and doesn't speak to you, then she doesn't see her grandchild for however long that tantrum lasts - simple! However - your partner's support on this is essential - you need to present a united front (and ideally, he should be the one calling her on her behaviour - not you). What's his view on all of this?

Oops - your post wasn't an AIBU. But you're definitely not being unreasonable anyway

So she should not have him alone. At all.
My exmil told me she would feed my vegi dc meat.
So I never left them with her.
Ever.
She tries the hide in the kitchen crap, you simply leave.

Easy answer is take your 'bub' with you when you go shopping etc.

Does she ask to look after her GC, or do you ask her to childmind while you go out?

Thanks for the advice.
My partner is too scared to tell her stuff like this. He knows it’s wrong but will just pretend like these situations don’t happen.

Jesus, I thought it was going to be something really serious. She's looking after your 'bub' 🤨 so you can run errands, is it such a big deal that she's feeding him different food or holding him and feeding him?

You and your dh need to be firm. If you don’t want her feeding him stuff you don’t know about, tell her. If you don’t want her hiding in the kitchen with the door closed (that’s very weird!) then TELL her. Make a joke of it, go in, laugh, grab him back, say ‘Silly granny hiding you away in here’. It may not sound serious, but is she going to hide with him forever and have him keep her secrets? I dunno, maybe I’m extrapolating, but I find it a bit odd that she’s hiding away when you leave him with her alone anyway.

If you don’t like her behaviour, don’t leave him with her, pretty obvious.