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Who to believe

35 replies

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 06:16

Hi Everyone
Recently I have been feeling very stressed.
Quite sometime ago there were some strange phone calls to my home asking for my husband one said she had met him at a bar in town the night before but unless he went out when I was asleep he was here she said to me tell him I am wearing what he wants then another call from someone else saying she met him on the internet but as far as I know he does not go on the internet.at the time I just hung up on these calls but after quite a while I mentioned them to my husband. who promptly said to me I am imagining it or I am dreaming not really the response I expected
On another 2 occasions later on females called saying they were from the bank the first call I hand over to my husband who after about 7-8 mins ended the call saying after hardly speaking a word
just listening said No it's alright thanks if I want anything I will let you know
When he put the phone down I asked him what that was about
He replied nothing really!
The other caller who said she was from the bank was certainly not
when I asked her which bank she gave a name we do not use
when I told her this she gave the name of another bank I replied by saying you are not from a bank are you She said yes I am honestly just put him on.
I hung up.
I have asked him repeatedly what is this about he just keeps saying it is nothing to do with him he has no idea but he did take that strange call who said she was from the bank in the first place
Please help this is driving me mad he is not been the best at honesty
in all the time I have been with him.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 23/06/2019 06:25

If you've got random women ringing up asking for your husband irrespective of whether they met him in a bar a club or a bank, I think you have a relationship problem yes.

Cookit · 23/06/2019 06:25

This is hugely odd.

I find it hard to understand though why your husband would be giving all these women your landline number and not his mobile... Whatever it is could all be a lot more secret if he did and honestly if someone gave me a landline number these days I’d find it utterly bizarre.

I also don’t understand if these are women he’s meeting when out or something why they aren’t hanging up or seeming at least bothered when his wife answers the phone.

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 06:32

Hi
Neither I or my husband use a mobile phone
we are both mature in years

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

TapasForTwo · 23/06/2019 06:36

DH and I won't see 60 again, and both have mobiles.

AravisQueenOfArchenland · 23/06/2019 06:44

How does he access the internet?

TapasForTwo · 23/06/2019 06:55

Laptop.
I prefer using a laptop to my phone. I prefer a full size screen and proper keyboard to type on.

SoyDora · 23/06/2019 07:06

My grandmother is 87 and I mainly communicate with her via text message.
Of course he’s not being honest, but it doesn’t sound like he’s going to give you any more information to go on.

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 23/06/2019 07:10

The bank call could just have been cold calling, trying to get him to buy stuff. They tend to prattle on, so him not saying much would make sense.

The first call you know is rubbish, as you said he was at home with you.

Does he have the opportunity to meet up with women?

Thistles24 · 23/06/2019 07:22

There’s no doubt something strange going on. I was getting hounded by these calls about a road accident I’d been in lately(I hadn’t) and every time they called I’d get more annoyed with them, and moan to my husband after. I can’t believe he’s suddenly started getting random calls and isn’t either annoyed by them or happy to chat to them because they’re relevant to him!
Do you have shared finances? If it’s not an affair, I’d be concerned either he’s got into financial difficulties or something has gone on and he’s being blackmailed?

barryfromclareisfit · 23/06/2019 07:36

You’ve reminded me that this started in the last few weeks of my marriage. One claimed to be from a survey company and when I asked her what she wanted she said angrily “Just get him!” They were women he was seeing, I think.

Pearlfish · 23/06/2019 07:42

One or two of these calls could be some kind of prank or error. But lots of calls, from several different women, can only mean one thing surely? Especially when he refuses to give you any kind of explanation.

OP, you are not imagining or dreaming this.

BenWillbondsPants · 23/06/2019 07:50

No. This is all odd and he needs to be giving some straight answers.

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 08:02

I have tried to get more precise answers from him
but he just keeps saying the same thing
I don't know anything about any of it!
I truly can not make sense of it. My gut instinct tells me he
is lying about something

OP posts:
nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 08:06

That was what I found uncomfortable when after asking them a couple of questions how they said JUST PUT HIM ON!

OP posts:
BenWillbondsPants · 23/06/2019 08:08

My gut instinct tells me he
is lying about something

Well I would say that he is then. I think we're rarely wrong when we feel like that. How is he at communicating generally OP? Is he normally quite forthcoming?

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 08:10

All the time I have known I can honestly say he is not forthcoming
mostly keeps things close to his chest.

OP posts:
BenWillbondsPants · 23/06/2019 08:12

That's difficult then. Unfortunately you may need to open a can of worms here and tell him outright that you're not happy with these calls or his explanations for them. His reactions may give you an idea if he's been truthful.

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 08:12

I know this might sound strange but do women ever kind of do soliciting calls you know what I mean

OP posts:
DharmaInitiativeLady · 23/06/2019 08:29

Sex workers? Dodgy chat lines?

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 08:37

Yes that's what I mean
could it be something like that I have never actually heard
of then just randomly calling someone

OP posts:
Soola · 23/06/2019 08:41

It make sense if they are prostitutes rather than casual affairs.

Can you see what numbers have been called from the landline?

Soola · 23/06/2019 08:42

I should have added that he would have given his number out.

nowisthetime2be · 23/06/2019 08:42

Yes But there is nothing out of the ordainary

OP posts:
Soola · 23/06/2019 08:45

Next time they call you say wrong number and don’t hand over to him. Then look up the number they’ve called from unless they’ve blocked it.

Do they have local accents?

coconuttelegraph · 23/06/2019 08:47

Don't ignore a gut feeling but could it be that your number is similar to someone else's or been given out maliciously. Do you do 1471 after the calls?

A person without a mobile would find it hard to have a secret affair imo