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Friendships

2 replies

Needadvice64 · 22/06/2019 17:53

Hi, could do with some real advice! I have 2 friends for last 27 + years. Over time we have drifted apart, but I generally get invited to group get togethers. Over the last 6 months, I have noticed they no longer invite me out. I did speak to one of them and told her how I felt very excluded and lonely. She apologised and said she didn’t think I would want to go to some events with them and said she would invite me from now on. I saw they were organising a night out on FB but I want included in the invite. When I saw her I asked why I wasn’t included as I would love to go. She said she wasn’t aware of dates only that our other friend had got her a ticket (which by this time had all sold out). Late last night, she text to say they were looking at going to a concert in January and would I like to go. I said definitely count me in, and could she let me know how much I owed. Today I saw her and our other friend at a birthday party. Asked how much I owed her, and she said to talk to our other friend. Friend 2(!) said I should order tickets on line, but she needed to point out tat I would have to drive myself as their car was full. (Apparently her son was going to drive them so there was no room for me). I was so shocked and upset, and just said that I really didn’t want to drive on my own as half the fun is travelling together. Clearly, I am not welcome to nights out with them. I am useless about confrontation so any advice on how to handle this would be great👍

OP posts:
BackforGood · 23/06/2019 00:48

Well, on that alone, why do you think it isn't the case?
I mean, her ds - and presumably his friend - may well be going and there may well not be room in the car.

In terms of more generally, what have you arranged / invited them to ?

Needadvice64 · 23/06/2019 08:09

I always invite them when I go out for meals, lunches etc. Too be honest they always come to group events I organise. However if I suggest meeting up on our own they always decline invite. I did wonder if her son was going to concert, but since found out he isn’t. Re-reading this post it is obvious they both are not so invested in maintaining our friendship that I am. Surely if there are too many to go in one car you would say that one of the others would travel with me. I know I would. It’s very difficult because we have mutual friends so we will always have a connection. It just feels very strained and uncomfortable, and I don’t want it to effect others

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