Your advice please! Stuck in a rut.

[23goingon93]

I'm 23 and I'm stuck at home with DD and DS everyday DS goes to nursery three days a week for a few hours.

I'm so fucking lonely it's unreal. My OH is a scaffolder even though it's good money I feel it's the root of our problems. He works for his dad and there is just always something he's always at work or there some kind of drama with his dads business partner.

He's now just rang me to tell me he's in the pub he never goes to the pub so I'm not bothered but I've been sat here crying all morning feeling that I can't cope and anymore and wanting to walk out on my family.

I feel so stuck I really need some help but don't know where to go from here. Honestly been thinking about just packing up when everyone's sleeping and just leaving.

I'm so tired of having to pretend to be happy all the time.

What about your job? Or studies? You're so young...you need something more in your life.

Do you get any time of your own?

Have you spoken to him about it? It sounds like you need to. Do you work? If not I think maybe that might help

I would love to go back to work but then I would struggle with childcare. I have been studying with open university I did one year but can't continue it's to much pressure.

No don't have any time on my own.

How's your general relationship with your partner OP? Is it ok?

Do you just get out of the house? Like during the week with the dcs? Go into town/to the park/mum and toddler groups/child friendly cafe with friends? Or go see your parents/grandparents/in-laws.

Theres a lot to be said for just getting out of the house, it breaks up the monotony and also stimulates your DC.

You poor thing.

Speaking from experience - get out of the house. As often as you can.

Darling it is hard and ur doing amazingly well, but yes, get out the house and go to groups where you meet other people if not your friends, get a regular time and place booked in so u dont even have to arrange it each week. I also recommend podcasts, really good way of feeling connected (try loose lips with luisa ziissman and anna williamson-lots of jokes and stories about motherhood and really honest and hilarious).
I also think really look at career choices so that u can afford to go back to work. I think in general that nursery is always a good idea so kids get used to someone else before going to school and for us mums, going back to work is sometimes the break we need!
These feelings wont last forever hun, ur doing great and even being honest with ur feelings is a great first step to do something about it!! Xxxx

How old are your DC? And what days/hours does your OH work? Do you feel like he understands how you're feeling?

I think it would be worth you visiting your doctor to talk about how you're feeling. You can probably also self refer for mental health services online today, but waiting lists are long. Search your local area on the link below to see what's available:
www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Psychological%20therapies%20%28IAPT%29/LocationSearch/10008

The kids are young but very soon will be at school, it seems ages now but looking back it's such a short period. I highly recommend trying to return to studying or other career enhancing skills once your youngest is at nursery so once they are school age you can return to work. Plenty of people study with small children