How many times did MN tell you to LTB before you did?

[ElektraUnchained]

I had to be told twice. Long term live in DP. One of those where the relationship isn't that good but we got on well still and I felt responsible for him.

First time was after I had to clean up his study/gaming room while he was away which he left in a disgusting mess including 16 dirty plates/bowls. Obviously other context came out as well. I was told to LTB but didn't - although he never let the study get quite that bad again.

The second time was around Dec last year when I was moving to a new city and considering whether to take him with me. He hadn't worked in years, I was paying his debt and I described being scared because of a tantrum he had a few years ago when challenged where he tore out a load of his hair and screamed/threw himself on the floor.

I can gladly report I kicked him to his parents in Dec and finally LTB for the final time in Feb.

MN really helped me get some gumption and realise I didn't have to be responsible for him anymore and I am so grateful.

Anyone else got a similar story?

Too many times.

1. When he lied about going to a lap dancing club
2. When he was having some kind of ea with a colleague

After that I kind of knew it was a lost cause but I love him and hoped he would get the counselling he needed. He didn’t, his behaviour became more abusive until 2 weeks ago he screamed in my face and terrified me. I have had a gutful of gaslighting, abuse and bullshit so I left with nowhere to go.

2 weeks is very recent. How are you feeling?

Terrible to be honest. It’s actually only been a couple of days since I left. I feel heartbroken and overwhelmed

Well done both of you for getting away from these awful men.

Good luck Theworld. That's very recent.

OMG

Countless times, over the years. Genuinely countless. Took me 18 years to finally be brave enough.

There’s hope on the other side!

I remember you Elektra. Well done for leaving, definitely the right decision.

I'm intrigued - what has happened since you left him? Has he sorted his life out?

@Stringervest he got a job about three weeks after I left him in a different city and posts about it incessantly on facebook. I was in his area last week and text to offer meeting for coffee and he didn't reply. I'm glad tbh.

I have been dating and after a minor heartbreak am back on the apps!

@ChocAuVin I know I feel a complete idiot for not leaving sooner. MN is such a source of strength buts its still easy to doubt yourself.

Wow. I can't believe that he just waltzed into a job when it suited him after everything he put you through, although I'm glad of course that he didn't end up in a homeless shelter. You are well rid of him.

I hope the job and new home are going well. I've thought about what a crazy situation you were in ever since you posted before and hoped you were ok!

Quite a few. Five, maybe, if we're talking threads rather than posters!

New job, and new city going great. Minor blip when fling ended but generally having the time of my life! No regrets whatsoever over LTB.

@passthestraws what was the final thing that made your mind up? Hope your life is better now!

@ElektraUnchained the final thing was finding out he had racked up credit card debt in secret again. Third time in 18 months and I went back and re-read the first thread I'd posted when I found out he had £15k of debt I had no idea about. People told me he'd do it again, and sure enough they were right!

He earned (a lot) more than me, but I realised then that if i stayed with him then that would be my life. We'd never have been able to have a joint account, a marriage, a joint mortgage. It was a choice between him and a stable future with someone I could trust financially, basically.

I'm doing great thank you, it's a relief to be honest. I miss him, but not lots of things about him, weird as that sounds.

Two years of posting on here before the final break. I live in a nice house now, I go out and come home when I choose, i am going to the theatre next week for the first time in 25 years. I am safe.

Many, many, many.

MN is wonderful for this.

I was Introduced to the fluffy site which opened my eyes but probably only posted once. Discovered mn after ltb which taught me what my boundaries should be and and to choose where to draw the line. Will always be Greatful for this place even if no one had to tell me to ltb.

While dating atm I can almost feel the MN comments when a date says something iffy that I might have missed years ago.