How to stop a relationship falling apart when under stress

[HoldMeWhileYouWait]

DP and I are having a really hard time, and all we seem to be doing at the moment is bickering, disagreeing and mis-communicating.

We are in the process of moving house in the next few weeks, but it's coinciding with us going for our first round of IVF.

There is mega stress. I'm tired, he wants to try and help me but kind of can't as we are packing up my house and I feel like I need to be the one to pack stuff/sort out stuff, because he doesn't know what needs to stay and what needs to go. This is leading to lots of disagreement, so just at the time I'm trying not to get stressed to give the IVF our best chance, it's just stressful all the time.

How can we navigate this without falling apart?

You say "we" are moving but then refer to it as "my house" which could be the crux of the issue around packing being too much at the moment.

Whose house is it?

I am currently renting, and he is living with me (us, I’ve got 2 children). I have bought a house, which we will all be living in together, but it’s my house (as in I’m paying for it all and it’s in my name). So I’m packing up my current house, which other than a few boxes of his stuff, is all mine/the children’s

He wants to help you, which is always a good start, so tell him what jobs would actually be of use to you.

Does stuff need taking to the tip or charity shop? Does any furniture need dismantling? Could he take the kids out for the day so you can get on with some jobs in peace? Could you tell him ‘all the plates and glasses in that cupboard are coming with us & need to be wrapped up’? Have you got access to the new house yet? Could he be getting on with jobs there? Are there any minor repair jobs that need doing in your current place before you hand the keys back?

That does sound so stressful. Is there any option to delay the IVF until you have moved? Forgive me if that’s not an option.

Or could you get someone to move and pack for you? The packing is not usually much more on top of moving charges.

It also sounds like a lot is falling on your shoulders. Does your relationship feel equal in other respects?