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Original poster

Has anyone been able to get DH to take more photos?

48 replies

SinkGirl · 21/06/2019 21:57

Since our twins were born, we’ve started making photo cards for mothers / fathers days, birthdays etc.

On father’s day I went through all the photos I’d taken of him and the boys over the last year (hundreds) and had at least 30 really lovely ones to choose from.

He made me a mother’s day card featuring the only two photos he’d taken of me with the boys all year (one with each of them).

I’ve brought it up with him before, he says he just doesn’t think of it but will try to take more. Never happens though.

I lost my mum the year before the twins were born and photos of her, and especially the two of us, are so important to me. I just feel like the boys will grow up and I just won’t be in any of their photos which makes me really sad.

There are way more photos of my mum and I together when I was a toddler than of me and the boys and back then you had to carry a camera and get film developed - he has a camera in his pocket the whole time!

Don’t get me wrong, I am not photogenic, I don’t particularly like how I look these days, but I know my boys won’t care how I look when they’re older and looking back.

DH is awesome in most ways, but this really gets to me.

Is it just me?

OP posts:

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 22/06/2019 07:20

I'm really not. I just disagree with you. If you only wanted agreement, you should have posted that.

drspouse · 22/06/2019 07:24

The more you ask, the more he'll work out it's a good thing to do.
It's not in their genes you know.

AnotherEmma · 22/06/2019 07:26

YANBU!
Take selfies and keep asking him.
You could take a photo a day, they won't all be worth keeping but it will get you both in the habit.

Interested in this thread?

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Families

Thecomfortador · 22/06/2019 07:29

My dp isn't too bad on this front, he has a better eye for a good picture than I do, but I did notice that there are no photos of me showing my bump while I was pregnant with ds2. It's quite strange as there are a few photos of ds1 and I together but no suggestion that I was about to have ds2. I've had to work out how pregnant I was.

I used to wonder with ds1 whether I took too many photos of him as a baby. And I probably did, but due to not backing them up, and losing the tiny tiny memory card, we have now lost a lot of them. I've retrieved the ones I emailed to my mum and dp has some, and we had printed some off. So glad I have those ones now, I love looking at them (and amazed how young and I thin dp and I were) and glad the boys will have them to look back on.

Maybe just keep asking him to take photos with you in- he's probably not going to change so it sadly comes down to you.

Itstheprinciple · 22/06/2019 08:45

I was fed up of looking like I wasn't on any of our holidays or days out so now I just hand him my phone and say 'take a picture'. Its not exactly a spontaneous shot but at least I have evidence I was there! He doesn't value photos the same way I do so doesn't think to take any.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 22/06/2019 08:48

I also have the same problem-I take loads of photos of everyone but unless I ask them none of me. Some of our holidays you would think I wasn’t even there

Timbertruck · 22/06/2019 08:52

Mine only takes them if I ask. And even then he does one quick snap and gets irritated if I ask to see it. Generally my eyes are closed or something but that's it. One photo.
Now fecking plants he'll take photo after photo.

I've stopped putting him in pics now.

c75kp0r · 22/06/2019 08:55

I kind of sympathise with these dhs - I very rarely take photos and don't really see why someone would want me in their picture - they know what I look like. We take them of the kids at their birthday or on a special occasion but that's it. When do you plan to look at them all? I spent ages faffing about putting wedding photos in an album with silly bits of plastic to hold them in - I haven't opened it since. In fact I'm not 100% sure where the album is.

ScreamingValenta · 22/06/2019 08:57

I think some people just prefer to enjoy the moment rather than seeing everything through the lens of a camera. There's nothing wrong with taking lots of photos if you enjoy taking photos, but you shouldn't criticise your DH because he doesn't.

Fatted · 22/06/2019 09:01

Ask him when he's actually there taking pictures perhaps? It's not a big deal to say 'Get one of me with the boys while you're there'.

CherryPavlova · 22/06/2019 09:13

Not something I could be excited about, to be honest. I think we take far too many photos of artificially created images nowadays. I look at my children’s snap chat and instagram and it’s all about looking like you’re having a great time rather than actually doing anything memorable.

Good memories are built inside heads.

MWNA · 22/06/2019 09:13

It's because women (in man/woman relationships) carry the mental load. They think of things, worry about things, plan for things, orgasinse in their minds things that are coming up, make Plan Bs and generally DO EVERY BLOODY THING.

😬🤪

ILoveJoeBrown · 22/06/2019 09:22

My DH never takes photos so I don't have many of me at all. Even when out with friends, I'm the one taking pics. He just doesn't think of it.

I'm learning how to do selfies better (to get past the "oh Mum you're so bad at selfies" thing!).

Original poster

SinkGirl · 22/06/2019 14:14

I think some people just prefer to enjoy the moment rather than seeing everything through the lens of a camera.

There’s a massive difference between seeing everything through a camera lens and never taking photos, while simultaneously loving candid spontaneous photos of you having fun with your children (and loving your own childhood photos).

Oh yes these poor husbands and their unreasonable wives.

Memories aren’t made inside the heads of two year olds though, are they?

I don’t stage photos, I take photos while they’re doing normal things like playing at home or in the garden, or pushing them in the swings (their favourite thing in the world at the moment). Given that most of us have a camera in our pocket at all times, this does not require living through a camera lens.

OP posts:

megletthesecond · 22/06/2019 14:18

Yanbu.

My family never take photos of me and the dc's (I'm a lp) so everything has to be a selfie. They're really odd about photos. My mum took a crap photo of me 3 years ago and seemed happy with that .

ScreamingValenta · 22/06/2019 14:47

Memories aren’t made inside the heads of two year olds though, are they?

Why not?

Original poster

SinkGirl · 22/06/2019 15:38

How much can you remember from when you were two?

OP posts:

Original poster

SinkGirl · 22/06/2019 15:39

(If the answer is anything at all, you’re unusual)

OP posts:

ScreamingValenta · 22/06/2019 16:07

Quite a bit, and so can my husband - I didn't think it was unusual (probably a topic for another thread )

Original poster

SinkGirl · 22/06/2019 20:57

It’s quite rare apparently - DH can remember back to that age ish quite well, I have some very fuzzy fleeting memories then nothing til I’m 5 or 6 I think. To be fair I have very few memories of childhood (later abuse impacted all my childhood memories and most of what I think of as memories are actually related to photos I’ve seen since, not actual memories).

DH actually took a couple of photos today after I mentioned it, bless him.

OP posts:

Original poster

SinkGirl · 22/06/2019 20:59

It’s quite interesting - they think there’s an age you get to where generally you lose memories of your younger years
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_amnesia

OP posts:

letstryanewone · 22/06/2019 22:35

@ScreamingValenta - not to derail but that's really interesting. DH is often sad that DS won't remember these years, it's nice to know he might. I have no memories from before 5.

timeisnotaline · 22/06/2019 22:42

Ask him ask him ask him. And tell him you need 10 nice photos of you and your boys before you take another one of him.
Mine has gotten much better, I realised we had so many beautiful ones of him and got really pissed off and started asking him. Mind, the other day he walked in on a rare moment of both boys cuddling me so I asked him to take a photo. He jumped in to take a group selfie and I was dagger voice No. Just take a photo of me and the boys like I asked you, not everything is about you.
He’s getting there!

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