19 and pregnant

[SJS9]

Helllo,
Im 19 and at univeristy i want to join the police force. I am moving in with my boyfriend of 9 months and i love him. We recently suffered a miscarridge, which was a unexpected shock to both of us as we have always used protection. It hit us very hard and my partner was incredibly supportive refusing to leave me alone in the hospital with our unborn child. Well a mounth later we found out again before i could get the coil that i was pregnant again. This was heartbreaking to us cause we would love to keep the baby but at the same time were so young. I could drop out of univeristy and aplly to the polices when the babys a couple of years old , its completly doable but im scarred about my parents reaction and also if id be a good mother? Im under no illusion how difficult it will be but Id really appreciate any advice :)

You can join the police force when your little one is older.

Your partner sounds supportive and you can both make a loving family work if you want to. But you both have to agree to make sacrifices and put the child’s needs first before your own.

You don't need to drop out of university, you can take a year out, and you should be able to get help with childcare costs if you are a student.

yes, no need to drop out of uni, just become 'dormant' for a year or however long.

Why drop out of uni?

Partly due to childcare costs, which i dont think we can afford and the fact that if i want to join the police i dont need a degree. Those are the main reasons plus it wpuld be nice to be able to spend time with the baby :) but im not sure yet exactly what to do.

But you can go dormant, and essentially defer your second year.

You would get help with childcare costs, and the uni possibly has a subsidised nursery. Look into it first before anything.
It's really early days (presumably), so no need to rush into anything.
If you can do next semester, then go dormant that could work?

Don't "throw away" the last year of work and money.

You're really young and in the prime of life, you'll cope just fine time wise/tiredness wise.

What would happen if you don't get into the police or change your mind, would you regret not finishing your degree? Would you go back to uni then? What is your "back up?"

Here's info about childcare grants when a student
www.practitioners.slc.co.uk/products/full-time-undergraduate-education/full-time-childcare-grant/

There's also a parent's allowance information section.

Do your research and then make an informed decision, before making "hasty' decisions.

I work in university admin and have seen many students get pregnant during their studies. You can go into voluntary suspension for a year and then pick your studies back up. There are usually nurseries on campus and financial assistance available if you need it.

You want to join the police. Why exactly are you doing a degree? Did you want to fast track/become an inspector? Two friends were substantive sergeants (acting, hadn’t passed the board yet) , both just passed the board this week and are now sergeants.

I think to become an Inspector, you might be better off with a degree, but you could take a year out or postpone indefinitely to have the baby, which is what you seem to want, forgive me if I’m wrong.

And don’t want to be mean, but use other contraception if you don’t want to get pregnant! Condoms etc are still free if you’re a student, talk to Student services. Talk to them anyway about deferring/postponing and good luck with everything.

Are you sure you don’t subconsciously want to have a child and drop out of uni? One accidental pregnancy seems bad luck, but two so close together sounds very unlikely.

I'm a mum of a nearly 19 year old. While my preference would be that she finishes her studies and is in a committed long term relationship that she is sure of before getting pregnant, I would nevertheless fully support her if she was to have a baby at this stage. If she were in this position, I would absolutely want to be there for her. From your post, there is no reason to think your parents would be any different. It may come as a bit of a shock, but they will come round and will love you and support you.

You can defer the year and go back to it next year if you want, no need to drop out. There are childcare grants so you also don’t need to worry about the cost of childcare. You can do this if it’s what you want.

Police recruitment is changing next year, brought in by the College of Policing. Basically either a policing apprenticeship or a specific policing degree (either a new 3 year degree or typing up a degree you already have). So from next September joining up will be different to how it currently done (no degree needed at the moment).

I am certain because my degree was and still is my back up plan incase the police force dosnt work out for whatever reason, and i love my degree. We have always used protection in the form of condoms and i was in the process of getting the coil. Also if i wantted to drop out of university i just of would of lots do it.

Whether you're in work or university you'll still need childcare

At least In uni they'll pay like half, but if you work how much will you really get?

If I were you I'd take a year off then pay my parents/bf parents a bit to look after baby rather than pay childcare then you still get your degree too

If you finish your degree you won’t just be another young mum, you’ll always have your degree too, makes it easier to get so many jobs, and get to management level quickly. Even in jobs you wouldn’t expect. Think on that.

You seem pretty determined to drop out of uni, rather than look into the options you do have.

If you drop out, you'll have the dents and will eventually have to pay the fees back. Do you want to pay ~£8000 for "nothing"?

Or would it be perhaps more sensible to look into all of your options?

It would probably be easier and cheaper to be a student with a child than trying to live off your partners wage. What does he do? Can be financially support you and a child on his own?
You're getting very good advice and have a lot of options, not sure why you're asking people if you e essentially made up your mind?

I had my first at 19. I wasn’t at uni at the time though. Life has turned out fantastically for all of us. I now have a good job, my kids are absolutely perfect and my OH and I are still together years later. It doesn’t happen this way for everyone but I just wanted to say good luck.

Definitely don't drop out of uni. The police would be very hard with a little one because you would be working shifts which would make childcare difficult. By finishing your degree you would have a backup option and as others have said you'll get help with childcare costs at uni. Have a chat with your student welfare people to understand the support that's there for you before you make a decision.

Fucktuates

Nobody is saying she won't have a great life. People are suggesting she looks at all her options before rushing into anything, when it could affect her future.

OP could postpone for a year, and STILL drop out if that's what she wants to do at the time. But it seems short sighted to drop out right now. When it's early days/weeks of pregnany :/