Is it normal to think about food so much

[nimma]

I don't really know what I'm asking or why I'm posting I just feel like I'm becoming obsessed with food and what I'm eating and I have a daughter who I really don't want to affect with this all.

Is it normal to think about food most of the day? When I wake up I think of all the things I'm going to eat but then I just overeat past the limit anyway. Once I start eating something it's like I can't stop, especially when it's chocolate or something else sweet. I think about food for most of the time I'm awake and have started dreaming about eating and hiding food. I'm so embarrassed about it all, it's like I can't control myself with food anymore so I wait till my partners at work before I eat anything so he doesn't see me stuffing my face non stop.

I just feel so disgusting. I don't remember the last time I felt hungry I just eat when I see food nearby and always feel so full to the point of feeling sick. I've started to put in weight because of it and I feel so ugly, I can't stop looking at all the bits of me that have gotten bigger in the mirror and then I eat because what's the point now when I'm already a fat lumpy mess. I feel like a shell of a person, why do I want to eat all the time

I don't know what to do

Best thing to do is to go on long walks out in the countryside with no pubs/shops and only carry what you need.
I'm the opposite. I can be busy all day and forget to eat!
You need to break the link with boredom = eat!

No it isn't "normal" or healthy but it's common and why we have such an obesity epidemic.

I think you might need some help and support the same as you would with any obsessive thought pattern or compulsive behaviour.

You have noticed you have a problem and spoken up about it. You have strength. Be proud of that. Take that strength and make a choice to tackle it. Would you consider making a GP appointment this morning?

Is this a new behaviour? What was your childhood relationship with food? What else is happening to make you so unhappy?

I will try make a GP appointment but it's always a few weeks weight. Will they be able to give me something to make me stop wanting to eat? I'm terrified of putting on anymore weight but I just can't control myself.

I used to starve myself when I was a teenager, would go most days with only a piece of fruit or small snack and bin all my other meals. After putting on weight during pregnancy I feel disgusting and now I just feel like what's the point because I'll never be able to be as small as I used to be even though I would love to be

few weeks wait*

Ahh there's your problem OP. Unrealistic expectations / goals. No you won't be as small as you were when you were a teenager. Connection is with starving yourself - therefore psychologically your body makes you eat more to compensate for the potential starvation and food scarcity it thinks is coming.

If you eat what you want and eat to get some nutrients in then it's less likely you'll crave junk all day.

How can I stop it? I don't want my daughter to be like me

I do this when I'm stressed. I didn't realise how much making such a (non diet related) huge life decision elsewhere in my life was effecting me in other ways. It wasn't until I went to a counsellor she made the link. Since the big decision has been made elsewhere in my life it's so strange, suddenly my food obsession and overeating has just stopped. I've gone from obsessing and not being able to stop eating sweet food to eating "normally" without it being a battle. Is anything bothering you perhaps?

for you OP. You sound really unhappy.

I'm just some internet random (obvs), but it sounds like good old compulsive eating: so common.

I'm very susceptible to this, and the one thing that's improved my eating disorder (because that's what it is) the most is learning to be kind to myself.

Lots of meditation (I use the Calm app), and counselling.

I look at my daughter, feel the love for her swell up in my heart, then I kind of turn that feeling in on myself, & just bask in it for a while.

I know it sounds like hippy nonsense, but I find it very powerful. You're someone's daughter and someone's mum. You are not disgusting.

Get a copy of the Michael Moseley book "Fast 800". It has really helped me to manage the same feelings you have. It's all well and good to say eat less and exercise more, but we don't do it! And then feel more crap about ourselves.

Have a read and see if it helps.

It sounds like disordered eating is your norm. You need proper medical help and support. Don't start dieting and restricting right now. You CAN tackle this but it's going to take time and kindness with appropriate support.

Make that appointment.

Your subsequent posts hint at an eating disorder, you say you had disordered eating (quite possibly anorexia) prior to pregnancy?

Definitely go to the GP, be very honest about the prior history as it sounds like it has the potential to take hold again. You say you feel like a ‘fat lumpy mess’ - I’m going to guess in actual fact you are likely not to be - what height/weight/bmi are you?

(& ironically, people suffering from anorexia where the whole crux of the illness is basically not eating/controlling food tend to think about food constantly as do people with bulimia, but they binge & purge, either way the food obsession is a big part of it. If you tackle the illness you tackle the food obsession.

Do you mean you don’t want your daughter to be like you - i.e what you perceive as ‘fat’ or do you mean you don’t want her to have issues with food/control? There is a big difference. Also ‘dieting’ when you have an eating disorder is a bad idea - just fuels the fire. Work things out with your GP before you take any dieting advice, however well intentioned the advice is..

Could you try just simple planning of what to eat, then trying to forget about it / distract yourself? Not banning anything or doing anything extreme (as sounds like you had that tendency in the past) but just kind of making plans for what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? If you eat the sweet things it can make you crave more of them, maybe fruit could be an option for sweet cravings? I often eat an apple for a snack and it seems quite filling. My NHS nurse at least health check says she just keeps busy, eats a banana of apple mid morning and then a normal lunch and dinner which keeps her weight in check.

I hope you can find a way of being in the middle - instead of veering from binging to starving as seems to happen with some eating disorders. There is no shame in asking for help, good luck.

@DieCryHate I have a lot of stressful events just now but nothing that I would say is linked totally. No idea but it's possibly that

@MilesJuppIsMyBitch ❤️

@chipsandgin I don't have any scales in my house so haven't weighed myself in a while but I'm 5'5 and was 10 stone 2 last time I checked. My biggest was 11 stone when I was pregnant and I can't bear the idea of being that big again, worse if I'm even more. I don't want her to overeat and feel guilty and have no control over it like me. I don't want her to feel sick when she sees herself in the mirror. I feel guilty that I don't feed her well enough and I panic every mealtime that I'm not giving her enough fruit and veg or that she'll get unwell from a bad diet. I feel like a failure if I give her frozen food or the odd Mcdonald's but I've never given her any chocolate cause I don't want to spark an addiction to sweet stuff like what I seem to have

@user87382294757 I used to meal plan and found that helped sometimes with meals but when I buy any snacks in for work lunches I will just eat the full box in one go instead of one every few days in a lunch box. If I know food is there I can't stop myself.

I do love fruit and other sweet things but fruit just doesn't fill the gap like chocolate or ice cream does and once I have one bit I can't stop till it's all gone. Honestly I feel like a monster

I tend to think about food when I'm bored and/or depressed, even if not hungry. I plan what I'm going to eat next and when. It annoys me too but I'm not like it all the time. I have phases and so do most people.

Well I can be a bit similar in eating lots of snacks once I start, it isn;t uncommon, so try not to feel bad. maybe have a look at mindful eating online. (where I got the planning ahead idea) I know what you mean as with ice cream i would just eat the whole tub! ...so I try and have that only very occasionally say at a birthday or something. It's hard