How much of a liability is/was your toddler?

[RickAstleyGaveMeUp]

Some recent threads have got me thinking. DD is almost 5 and vaguely sensible now, but when she was a toddler she walked into my parents' living room and before we noticed she had left the kitchen, she had managed to pull the whole fucking fireplace out of the wall. I decided to bake with her and by the time I had got the flour out of the cupboard she had grabbed the box of eggs and smashed 5 of them on the floor. She managed to climb into the empty bath as I chucked some washing on the airer, empty a full bottle of (expensive Molton Brown, Christmas present) shower gel into the bath and get herself trapped in the resulting slick. Etc, etc. DS needed to be followed at all times until very recently (He's 2.3 and calming down a bit) but has just learned to do forward rolls and does them on his bed without checking he has room to land, and has just this second tipped over a kitchen chair and trapped himself behind it.

DD1 was so easy. No tantrums, wasn’t inclined to get into mischief or push boundaries. Generally just a pleasant, placid toddler and child.

DD2 on the other hand....she came out of the womb frustrated, loud and full of devilment! Destruction is her speciality. She’s about to turn 3.5 and has just started chilling out a bit thank fuck . She’s great but the toddler years have been hard work!

Mine was a bloody Houdini. I was fitting a lock on the front door to stop her escaping one day, turned my back for 2 seconds, she was on a chair and had already worked it out.

Never a dull moment.

Ha, my 14 month old today turned dad's computer off while it was running some important work. Older one did same as a toddler so you think we'd have learnt.

Mine were absolute liabilities. I remember letting them out of the buggy in the park and one charged towards the main road while the other headed straight for the canal towpath.
I left them alone for two minutes to answer the phone once and came back to find them naked and head to toe in oil paint.
DS1 used to come downstairs and make it his first job of the day to spring all the safety locks in the kitchen. I watched him once, methodically go round the whole room, unpicking the catches on the knife drawer, the bleach cupboard etc. Like a security guard unlocking a building.
They are (touch wood) fairly risk-averse teens.

I have a 3 year old who is a stickler for rules and therefore parenting him is very easy. Makes a change from the demon baby he was for the first year of his life

First one no issues. Sensible old soul. Gentle and careful child.

Second one is like a tornado weaving a path of destruction through the house in the blink of an eye.

Both of my youngest 2 are extreme liabilities. How on Earth we've got away with just a few minor bumps and bleeds I don't know!

They can (age almost 2 and 3.5) recognise keys to use in the correct locks, unlock the doors safety chains, unlock the cupboard locks and can find a way to climb on anything at all. 2 weeks ago I left them playing upstairs and they managed to open a whole 5 litre tin of paint and took it in turns to shake it ALL OVER the entire upstairs, walls, ceilings, floors, carpets. Everywhere was covered. I only went to put the kettle on!!

My second was like this.We had a small hole in the ceiling,he went to go the loo.Next minute all we see are feet dangling .

Got out of a window[ground floor] not a stitch on him apart from a nappy.And was down the path in a blink of an eye.

Never slept for about 2 years.He would power nap for about 15 minutes and he was awake for days.

I have loads of funny stories about him.None about teh eldest cause he did what he was told

Reading this there’s a theme of second children, why the hell is fhat?!!!!

DC2 would have been an only if he’d been the first! Moved him to a new nursery recently and had to fill an accident form in on about his third day as he’d cracked his head at home and had a great big egg and bruise slap bang in the middle of his forehead.

Although my eldest did manage to tip the contents of a bean bag out all over his bedroom to “make it snow on his farm”

DD1 is nearly 5, not so much a liability as a toddler, just a screaming banshee. Still is...
DDw is 2. She climbs everything. And I mean, everything. Cant turn my back on her for a second. Shes also partial to plastering herself in sudocrem.

Dc4 was a whirlwind. Couldn't ever be left.
We have a random pole in our utility room that goes from floor to ceiling. At age 2 I found her at the top of it. She had shimmied up.
She hated the buggy. Wanted to walk everywhere but could never just walk holding hands - had to jump, skip, run etc but then didn't really have the control and would end up on the edge of the pavement.
She is now six. She is still crazy. Is never, ever still. Even when she is asleep she is fidgeting! Still always has to run everywhere.

I’ve been hurt so many times from launching myself at speed to rescue a toddler who is climbing, about to fall, reaching out for something dangerous, choking, etc. When DD grabbed the kettle flex I jumped up so fast that I bashed my hand on the cupboard and needed steel pins in my finger.

This is DC4....was a nightmare the minute she came out...😂😂 Shes 14 now...still a liability and a nightmare child . Shes absolutely hilarious though and makes me laugh every single day

Mine (DD, 26 months) is a weird mix. On the one hand I can trust her not to do anything stupid like flinging herself downstairs; you can let her chop veg with a sharp knife, pour something messy into a bowl, carry a box of eggs in from the car.

On the other hand, in the past couple of weeks she's tried to fill the kettle with water and boil it, put an (empty) pan on the hob and turned it on full, turned the washing machine on, opened the freezer (and left it open, grr), and stolen the 2lb weight from the high shelf. The last one worried me the most as I had visions of her pulling it off the shelf and it slipping and braining her.

When she was very tiny, before she weaned, she nicked one of those coconut shell bird feeder things that are meal worms mixed with fat.

Today was relatively uneventful, as she just nicked a grown-up garden fork, buried her feet in earth (except the earth where I'd been digging is full of broken glass and tile shards), and tried to pick up a bee.

My second son when aged two and a half managed to unbuckle himself out of his car seat while we had gone back into the house to get the rest of the stuff for a family day out.He then climbed into the front seat of the car and released the hand break ( a button at that time in a Mercedes).The car sailed off down the road with him at the wheel looking back .My husband tried his best to stop the car but it had gained too much momentum .The car then mounted the curb and come to a standstill.He was unhurt thank God but the underside/front of the car was fairly damaged and we were in shock.He broke windows, televisions ,video recorders .As a young boy he broke his foot, arm ,heel and bruised every part of his body while skateboarding. I could go on and on .He honestly nearly broke my heart till he was about 16.He is 19 years old now and a pure dote.He is just so sensible and calm and lovely. Sometimes I cannot believe that they are one and the same person.

DS1 epic tantrumer. Walked at a speed of 10 mins per 100m with a tantrum every 3 metres. Appeared to be placid but would suddenly snap and do something like bite another child when he became too tired. SNs now being investigated.

DS2 Cheerful physical type. Threw all the ball pit balls out of a 6ft first floor window at nursery. Hobby was kicking balls onto the roof. Champion sprinter; explained what reins were for while abroad with the words "Usain Bolt". Climbed like a chimpanzee; scaled up to the top of a softplay play frame... up the outside of the net. Weaves his way around like a ferret. Trip hazard. Very capable and lands like a cat.

I love my kids really. I loved them as babies despite the sleep deprivation. However if I ever get a broody urge, I whisper the word "toddler" until it passes. 3 repetitions normally does the trick.

DS was absolutely insane. I literally never sat down. He walked for about a week then started running all the time. He was a bit of a climber but not unsanely so, but he would just run off haphazardly all the time. I should have had him on reins.

You know you see people with toddlers, who are on the top of the play structure in the park, and they just stand there casually? No fucking way would I have ever done that, I had to watch DS like a hawk, he would have flung himself off the top of it. Utter madness. We used to take him to the shopping mall before the shops were open to let him run around if it was raining /snowing.

DD is a different kettle of fish, likes lying down, cuddling and cooking

Massive, huge liability. He has a constant self destruct setting. Needs watching all the time.

From the moment mine could walk at 14 months very much coincides with a spike in my anxiety that would last for the next 3 years.

Couldn't take my eyes off him for a second, would bolt at every opportunity, would NEVER hold hands, couldn't stand to be restrained. Fell a LOT, ran into things, frequent injuries.

He would meticulously open every drawer and cupboard that weren't bolted shut - every single day for about 3 yrs and rummage through the contents, spilling everything on to the floor.

Clean washing would be pulled out of the basket and strewn around the room, newly made beds would just be destroyed - again it was the relentlessness of his pursuits that was so exhausting!

DD was a dream baby/toddler/child/pre-teen. I'm waiting for her teenage years because I'm sure they will be hell to make up for 12 years of no stress.

DS on the other hand (second child) was a liability from the second he showed his face. Once turned the living room into a 'water slide park' by emptying a bottle of water over the laminate floor and stripping off to his pants then throwing himself across it. I'd only gone to make a tea. Flushed my ipod down the toilet to see if it could swim, wedged thi gs in his ear and nose to see if they'd come out of the other side (one doctor was most impressed by this game and decided he was going to be a scientist )
He walked at 9 months and learned to climb days after, and was just generally a headache from that moment until he turned 9. He's 10 now and is a little beaut, so we got there in the end.

DS

Not sure what the extra 'DS' was about!

DC1 was scared of the wind blowing loudly. She has always had a strong sense of danger and there’s been very few occasions where she’s put herself in immediate danger.

DC2 (2.5yo) however is a Mini Kamikaze he will scale door frames like Spider-Man in order to bypass baby gates, climb on top of any piece of furniture imaginable, run everywhere, jump off everything and anything.
I’m amazed that so far we’ve managed just the one trip to A&E to have a small head wound glued up

Dd1 literally went from baby to preschooler overnight, skipped the whole toddler stage completely, no tantrums, no wild behaviour, no breaking things/drawing on things etc, she was always so easy, and still is at 5. Dd2 is the total opposite, and as soon as she's been mobile as a baby, I've had to watch her like a hawk as she is so mischievous and has broken/ruined so much, and got herself into dangerous situations far too many times! She's just becoming easier at 2.5, but I still need to keep an eye on her as she'll draw on the walls, fill the toilet will toilet paper, snap the leaves off the houseplants etc at any opportunity. She's a whirlwind, and just doesn't care one bit when she's told off. Dd1 we've literally barley ever had to tell her off, and on the few occasions we have, she's been mortified and so upset. We always say dd1 likes to please, dd2 likes to cause mischief!

Went upstairs to quickly brush my teeth before taking DS to nursery. Super quick brush and rinse, less than 2 mins.

Came downstairs to discover he'd found a fucking permanent black marker pen (from where??!!) and drawn a continuous line round the entire lounge - walls, windowsill, fire surround, furniture. One big black line round the lot.

He's 11 now but still manages to trail mess and chaos in his wake