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Original poster

I’m so lonely

17 replies

StrugglingOn13 · 20/06/2019 10:02

Don’t really know what to put. I feel so alone in a world full of people.

No one would notice if I just disappeared 😔 I’m so desperate to meet new people and make new friends. I lost all of my school friends because I was in an abusive relationship quite young and now I feel like I have nobody.

Such a long shot but if anyone is in the North West and feels the same, do you fancy making a meet up group? There isn’t anything for my local area and I’m not sure what else to do...

OP posts:
isseywithcats · 20/06/2019 10:58

have you thought about looking at volunteering i work in a charity shop and the other people are such a nice bunch of people , its interesting every day is different and it gets you out of the house and back into interacting with other people, or at an animal rescue centre animals are great for having a moan at as they dont judge you, a food bank makes you realise there are other people worse off than you, working with children , working with older people

Original poster
StrugglingOn13 · 20/06/2019 11:23

I work full time Monday - Friday so i don’t know if volunteering would work I guess, i’ll definitely look into the food bank idea though that’s I really good one thanks

OP posts:
isseywithcats · 20/06/2019 20:59

your welcome and charity shops are open on saturdays thats usually the busiest day and so are animal charity rescue centres weekends are when most people are looking to rehome i used to work at one and saturdays didnt have time to breath let alone feel lonely, talking to people, fussing the animals, answering the phone, cleaning the pens

user1471465525 · 20/06/2019 21:22

Definitely voluntering at a dog rescue even one saturday a month would really help with meeting new people if you like dogs that is.

definitelyshouldknowbetter · 20/06/2019 22:00

I get what you’re saying, I’m surrounded by people but quite often feel lonely because although I have friends, none of them are particularly close friends. I drifted away from school friends and I think the older you get the harder it can become to make deeper friendships.

Do you have children? I’ve found they’re a good way to get chatting to people but I have to force myself to do it as naturally I would choose to stay quiet but that’s not going to get me anywhere!

Where in NW are you?

problem1234567 · 20/06/2019 22:07

I'm lonely in London...

Original poster
StrugglingOn13 · 20/06/2019 22:18

@isseywithcats took your advice and signed up to volunteer with my local brownie group. Thanks for spurring me on! Grin

@definitelyshouldknowbetter nope no children yet, it’s so hard to meet new people in between school age and having a family. I’m not far from Ormskirk near Liverpool

@user1471465525 love dogs will definitely look into that Smile

@problem1234567 it’s so hard isn’t it, especially if you’ve moved around a lot growing up. Hopefully it’ll get better soon x

OP posts:
definitelyshouldknowbetter · 20/06/2019 22:27

I’m not near you StrugglingOn13 or I would have met you for a coffee, I’m more east lancs way.
It’s definitely harder, particularly between uni and school and when you have a family. We’re surrounded by images all the time of people having fun, whether it’s genuine or not it compounds the fact even more that you feel on your own

WhiskersPete · 20/06/2019 22:33

I get it OP. I'd be up for a meet up group. I'm in Liverpool. Moved here 6 years ago but feel like I should branch out more!

Adversecamber22 · 20/06/2019 22:38

Good luck with volunteering it’s a great way to meet like minded people. Plenty of people are okay but you need mutual ground for a lasting friendship.

ConfCall · 20/06/2019 22:38

Don’t discount old school friends OP. Assuming they knew what your ex boyfriend was like, they may be wondering what became of you and therefore delighted to hear from you.

Parkrun is pretty social where I am. An acquaintance of mine has regular nights out with a gang from there.

Another person I know met her husband at choir practice. Can you sing lol 🎵?

Em308 · 20/06/2019 22:49

A couple of other volunteering ideas for you - you can be a phone friend (can't remember the name of the organisation but had a friend who did this) each week at a set time you speak with someone who's signed up for the service (perhaps because they're lonely, can't get out etc). This person can be anywhere in the country, you provide company, maybe simple advice, whatever they want to talk about. My friend enjoyed it so much. Another service is video calls for the blind - a blind person can call you and for example shows (on video call) you a letter they've received and you read it to them (rubbish example sorry).

Sparkles57 · 20/06/2019 23:14

Oh OP Flowers I feel you! Life can be shit sometimes and it’s awful feeling lonely!

I’ve felt really lonely myself so I’m trying to find ways to meet new people too - feel free to PM me about your meet up group :)

Leeds2 · 20/06/2019 23:28

Brilliant that you have volunteered for Brownies! They will really appreciate your help. I came on here to recommend volunteering, but it sounds like you have it covered. There are lots of volunteering opportunities at the weekend if you want more; charity shops, animal rescue centres, where I live they do conservation type events every few weeks such as draining a river.
How do you get on with your work colleagues? Could you organise after work drinks, or a meal? Or a lunchtime get together? Bring in cakes for Macmillan Support, or Red Nose Day, just to get people talking socially?

Randomneim · 20/06/2019 23:48

Good on you for reaching out to ppl like this already. This kind of proactiveness is what will help you. 'follow up' with any 'friend leads' -- anyone you meet who you think you might like to hang out with, ask them for coffee. In your 30s and beyond so much hinges on being 'out there' with people, almost like dating. Good luck, and i totally second the volunteering stuff. It's the best.

Original poster
StrugglingOn13 · 21/06/2019 19:22

@definitelyshouldknowbetter I work up in Preston so if a meet up ends up happening I’ll let you know just in case. It is hard when everyone around you seems to be having what you want, but I know I’m only seeing a small window of other people’s lives

@WhiskersPete Definitely! I’m Ormskirk side, which part are you?

@ConfCall Park run isn’t something I’ve thought of actually, I love running too so will see if there is one by me! And sadly can’t sing. Think I’d get kicked out of a choir Grin

@Sparkles57 I will do thank you!

@Leeds2 Sadly work isn’t an option at all, I work with all middle aged men who are all lovely but nothing socially in common which only really adds to the feeling lonely. Really great ideas though thank you

@Randomneim Thanks Smile it does make me so anxious to sign up to something new but it’s all about pushing those boundaries I guess!

OP posts:
Beechview · 21/06/2019 19:31

Have you tried meetup.com?
They can be good for social events. See what groups meet in your area.

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