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Original poster

If you have children who've just done GCSEs, what are they doing this summer

50 replies

Daygals · 20/06/2019 09:40

DS2 is in this situation.

Has worked hard and secured himself a very well regarded and really rather well paid apprenticeship for September (fingers crossed for his exam results!)

At the moment he gets £5pw pocket money and doesn't really spend that, so I don't mind that he's not planning to work over the summer. I do mind that he plans to do nothing at all for three months.

He's a quiet boy not very sociable, has a few equally quiet friends but they do most of their "socialising" online. He's never had any interest or aptitude for sport or music. Used to be quite outdoorsy and did some conservation group work as a tween but that doesn't seem to interest him now.

I've been setting him some housework jobs each day and he's getting to grips with his bedroom, which I'd allowed to slide while he was studying but other than that he's either in bed on his phone or sat at the computer all day. I'm not sure when he last left the house - exams finished a week ago.

Apart from seeming a terrible waste of a long lazy summer, I'm concerned that this kind of lifestyle is not good for anyone's mental health.

I've suggested all the usual things, volunteering, NCS, maybe golf with his Grandad if his friends aren't going out and about at all but he's resisting everything. If he wasn't so well set up for September I'd put my foot down and insist he did NCS but he says there's no point as he doesn't need to build his CV, which is hard to argue against.

Would you leave him too it or keep trying to find him something to do?

OP posts:

Original poster

Daygals · 20/06/2019 10:52

Surely all their parents aren't still in bed too?

OP posts:

Lovejoyfull · 20/06/2019 11:18

I could have written this OP! My son is planning on going back to achool to do A’ Levels in September. I feel he worked hard this year so I haven’t said too much about sleeping in late and playing online but 3 months of this seems too much. I have suggested he look for a summer job but realistically I’m not sure how easy this will be for a 16 year old to find. It’s impossible to force him to do anything which is a shame as he used to be very sporty and sociable but not so much these days, maybe it’s normal to be a bit lazy at this age ? Sorry I’m no help, hoping someone comes along who has been through this.

Original poster

Daygals · 20/06/2019 13:17

I know, I honestly can't remember what I did with the summer between O and A levels. I would have gone camping with Guides (was a young leader) and we probably had a family holiday but apart from that I don't know.

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Families

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 20/06/2019 13:20

He is doing fuck all

Playing computer games and watching movies

He is going to the 4 college taster days he has planned and going on holiday with us...but thats it

Course it is only day 2 for him so far

Iambuffy · 20/06/2019 13:20

Ds1 is planning to go to 6th form for a levels and is his spending time watching films, going out with friends and volunteering.

Tbh he is quite quiet too and I'm happy for him to relax prior to 6th form. He worked really hard on his gcses.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 20/06/2019 13:22

Im sorry i missed the last question...I’d leave him to it unless he complains about a lack of money or boredom

DelurkingAJ · 20/06/2019 13:22

Is there something that is vaguely hobby related he could do? Like learning to code or some such?!

(I was sent to typing school that summer and was grumpy at the time but very very grateful subsequently)

moomoogalicious · 20/06/2019 13:25

Dd goes to college in September. She's looking for a saturday job, watching box sets, walking the dog for me and hanging out with her bf.

She worked hard for her gsces, doesn't generally ask for money so I'm happy for her to chill out.

TheFirstOHN · 20/06/2019 13:32

DS1: Hung out with his friends all summer (mostly in the local park) eventually shifting time zone so he was going to bed at 4am and getting up at 1pm.

DS2: Orchestra tour; academic summer school; volunteering in the library; prepping for A-level courses.

Both of these were right for them as individuals.

WhoopiGoldbergsCat · 20/06/2019 13:38

My ds is the same. Finished his exams just over a week ago and mostly been in his room on the xbox or on his phone.
I do insist he goes to the gym a few times a week but he enjoys that anyway..
I just wish he'd go out a bit more, but he's says there's nowhere to go, nothing to do etc.
I'm just going to leave him to it. He seems happy enough.
It's just so different from when I was young. I spent most of the summer when I was 16 out, hanging around with unsuitable boys!

benfoldsfive · 20/06/2019 13:43

Dd has got herself a job at mc Donald's and a Saturday as a sort of TA at a theatre school. Has a musical theatre summer school for a week. 4 days with us in Wales. 2 collage taster days and a ticket for Saturday at Leeds Festival. She started painting her room white last night and I doubt it will be finished for September!

Iwantacookie · 20/06/2019 13:45

Another with a ds who will happily spend the next 3 months in front of the Xbox.
I've had a chat with him and he's going to help me with a couple of jobs, painting bathroom, sorting the shed, attacking the back garden.
He also does 2 sports clubs a week as well as the odd game of football with his friends so I've left it at that.
They don't get much wind down time between now and the world of work so I don't really mind him playing Xbox until collage starts.

whiteroseredrose · 20/06/2019 13:47

DD has a packed summer. Discovery Day at the local Uni, a 3 day Insights course at another Uni (doesn't know what she wants to do so hoping this will help), then NCS and family holiday. This will take her until just before results day. She going to chill after that!

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 20/06/2019 13:48

He's going to relax, have long lie-ins, play games and hang out with his friends.

Still 15 so can't get a job. Nor would I want him to. He's worked his arse off, time for a rest.

Kez200 · 20/06/2019 13:49

My son worked full time before starting his apprenticeship but, had he not wanted to, I wouldn't have made him. He worked really hard once he started so a bit of time off is no problem.

If he is going away then cooking and cleaning with helpful house keeping advice is useful. He is unlikely to be in halls or with a bunch of others, so help in that way might prove useful.

ChippyMinton · 20/06/2019 13:52

Main focus will be an organised 3-week trip abroad
Various weekends and evenings volunteering
Showing visiting relatives around local tourist sights
Gaming and other techy stuff online and with friends
Clearing up bedroom
Researching A level and degree options
Celebrating his results!

CremeEggThief · 20/06/2019 14:00

My DS is currently on holiday with his Dad. He has 3 6th form taster days, his Prom and 4 weeks NCS lined up. He really doesn't want to do the NCS, as he doesn't have much of an inclination to help people/contribute to the community, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed he sticks with it and enjoys the feeling of giving something back.

Last summer was a nightmare, as I only worked part-time and term time, and I couldn't afford for us to go away and he wasn't very sociable. He refused to consider any voluntary work and basically spent most of his summer in bed, depressed. I couldn't face that again, but luckily for me, I now work full-time all year around, so I don't have to.

Buyitinbamboo · 20/06/2019 14:14

Much younger brother is doing NCS for 3 weeks. Working for his dad for 3 weeks (this earns him enough to cover what he used to earn as a pot washer every weekend in time pub), going on holiday for 1 or 2 weeks to see family. So he has a few weeks to chill and hang out with friends, will have chores to do daily though

MeetMeInMontauk · 20/06/2019 14:30

Speaking as someone who is just coming out the other side of juggling full-time employment, a part-time BSc course and helping raise a young family for the last 5 years, I would say that the adult world is likely to pummel them all with the old one-two soon enough. Some of my fondest memories are mooching around aimlessly and long lie-ins before the perils of responsibility caught up with me. Personally, I'd let these few months go as a sort of freebie before the real shitstorm rolls in. He'll know, soon enough. Let him enjoy this probable last taste of carefree living whilst the option is still on the table.

pikapikachu · 20/06/2019 14:39

Did is doing NCS in August, going on holiday once school's broken up for her younger sibling and has decided to do diy projects in her room until then. She's repainting her walls etc

Pinkmonkeybird · 20/06/2019 14:43

@MeetMeInMontauk I agree with you...let them have a bit of a carefree time.

But to answer the OP; my DD is doing NCS, some other form of volunteering and wants to look for a job, but she can't have a job yet until her 16th birthday (end of summer) which she is frustrated about. She's going to have a mix of things being full on with a few weeks of being carefree. I've said as long as she helps a bit about the house, then she can do what she wants in her free time (within reason, of course!).

zenasfuck · 20/06/2019 14:53

Same situation here.
Ds isn't 16 until end of August so no point looking for work.
Tbh, after the stress of Gcse's and then with a lifetime of work ahead, I'm happy for him to spend the summer as he pleases.

Which will be in his bedroom on his PC. I'm allowing this as long as he spends some time building his graphic design and photography portfolio

ooooohbetty · 20/06/2019 15:13

My children both had summer jobs before going back to school to start A levels. They wanted money than their pocket money so had to work to get it.

fairweathercyclist · 20/06/2019 15:34

My ds is in this position too. I was out this morning and his dad was working from home because of the SWR rail strike said he is getting bored!

He's doing a lifeguard course next week so that will keep him busy and a few hours work will hopefully flow from that anyway (it's kind of the point of the course). The following week he has a sixth form college taster day and we are going away for a few days on the Friday.

He is down to do NCS but isn't too keen. But it's not until late July so he might actually be up for it by the time it comes round. By the time he finishes it, it will be results week and then enrolment at college. Then we have the whole of the first week of September free so are planning to go away but haven't booked anything yet.

fairweathercyclist · 20/06/2019 15:34

That was ds getting bored, not dh :)

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