Walking with a toddler in a carrier - reassure my DP?

[SarahAndQuack]

My DD is two, and I want to go on a walk with her. It's a work-related event I'd really like to participate in, and we'd be walking about 3 miles. Obviously DD can't walk that far, and it is across some rough ground, so I've been advised I can't bring her pushchair. When DD was a bit younger, I used regularly to carry her in a sling and walk the 5 mile round trip to her nursery, but she's now outgrown our front-facing sling and all the alternatives seem to be backpack-style carriers.

The difficulty is that my partner really worries about this. She is frightened that if DD is on my back, and if I fell, she could get badly hurt. I've showed her some evidence that falling backwards is quite rare, and we've looked at carriers that are really sturdy, but she is still very anxious.

What I want to know is: 1) did you, honestly, also feel nervous in this situation, and if so, did you/how did you get over it? and 2) is there any solution we've not thought of, for getting a toddler over this walk?

My 4 children were all carried on a framed backpack for miles, including coast path walks and on bikes (!) - always fine, DP never fell. This is the best solution and will be fine. 😁 (make sure she has a sun hat on)

I used wraps and soft back carriers until my DCs were about 4, partly because their walking was much more functional by then, partly because the straps were digging in to my shoulders. Although not long ago, we ended up putting our 5yo in a 65l rucksack for the final couple of miles of a walk after he got blisters.

Never had any issues with tripping/ falling. Poles are good for balance and spreading the weight off your legs on rough ground.

I'd want to be used to the weight first.

Mine definitely did not walk 3 miles at 2, and I doubt the majority of 2 year olds can at a pace that would leave the parent's sanity in tact! However they can run very respectable times at parkrun now (5k/ 3.1mi) so their initial lack of enthusiasm for walking has been no impediment to them.

Would she feel more at ease if she came on the walk too?

Poles seem like a good compromise for balance.

I’ve carried both of my DCs on my front and my back their whole lives, and tandem carried them (youngest on the front, eldest on the back). They are 2.5 and 4 now and I’ve only recently stopped carrying the youngest in a sling because my baby bump is in the way for me to tie or buckle a carrier comfortably.
The likelihood of you falling backwards is highly unlikely.
Seems like your partner is being overly anxious over something that is a complete non-issue

Go with your partner to a sling library and speak to the consultants there? They will be able to reassure him. Many will have back carried babies from just a few weeks old

OP You can get back carriers that are rucksacks with built in seats for the child. They have straps for the child so they def won't fall out! That might help to reassure your partner.

Would it reassure your partner if your DC wore a cycle helmet? So if you did fall (unlikely I know) her head would be protected?

When my DC2 was about 3 months I had him in a front sling and fell as I was getting off a bus, I instinctively cradled his head in my hands and landed on my elbows and knees. He was perfectly fine, I however had amazing bruises and grazes on elbows and knees!
You will instinctively protect your child.

I was going to say toddler tula too as they don't change your centre of gravity as much as a big framed carrier. At least we found this was the case.

I'm sure it'll be fine, there are plenty of carriers you can back wear without resorting to backpack, and you'll even be able to borrow one just for the walk from your local sling library.

I second hiking poles for peace of mind.

I regularly carry my 2 year old on multi-mile hikes in a soft carrier (similar to a Tula) and did so with my older child as well. I’ve never fallen. I prefer the soft carrier as it keeps my child’s weight more balanced. I find the framed backpack carriers less comfortable and a little more tippy. My dh likes the framed carrier, but it fits him better and he likes that our child can see over his shoulder better. Hiking poles would definitely help with stability, but we’ve never had a problem with either type of carrier.

Just a thought Op but when I get general anxiety about kids, it’s usually misdirected. I’ll worry about MILs car seat when actually, I’m just worried about her having DS all day. Could there be a little bit of that going on? Maybe because it’s a work thing?

I fell once carrying a toddler... In my arms. Never with either in the carrier.

DH carried 1yo up Snowdon on one of the scrambling paths (Miners path?) And carried the 3yo half way down. (The 3yo had climbed up Snowdon, some are capable of surprising things! She walked rest of the way down too.)

It's not possible to reassure someone out of an anxiety problem, unfortunately. You've already tried to use facts, unsuccessfully. Does your DP have a solution to the problem apart from 'don't go'? And is she getting any help for the anxiety?