DS whose okay sunk in pool and I can't get the image out my head

[meepmoop]

We went to a local swimming pool today and DS whose 22 months was going down a slide into the pool. He's done it loads of times and i always beat him to the end. I usually have a friend with me who stands at the bottom in case i don't get there only this time she was with her DS but I stupidly thought it would be fine.

He went down the slide but I was slower and he shot off the end and was submerged sinking to the bottom for literally a second as I was very nearly to him. He was absolutely fine and came up laughing wanting to do it again.

I just can't get the image out of my mind and it's making me feel sick.

I've read up on secondary drowning so I've been watching him like a hawk
but he's showing no signs. The lifeguard wasn't worried not that I think he noticed it even though he was sat opposite it

Not sure why I've started a thread hoping it'll make me feel better.

Well, lesson learned. Chalk it up to experience and try and distract yourself tonight. It won't seem as big of a deal tomorrow.

22 months sounds young to go down a water slide alone? It's a long time since I had a toddler though.

Also sounds like he just dunked under the water for a second? Presumably with a swim jacket on?

Try to think of something else and the images will fade. Also make sure your friend is there next time, or discourage the water slide for now until he's older. If he had been in any trouble, the lifeguard would have spotted immediately and helped him, that's what they're trained to do.

It wasn't a massive slide and he's been walking since before a year so he's very stable. He can get up the steps himself so I didn't really need to be there but was worrying about him slipping

He wasn't under there for long, he wasn't worried thought it was great. I just can't stop seeing it

Try to finish the image on a positive to make it less scary. Instead of imagining him at the bottom, keep the image going to where he pops up and laughs and you know he's safe.
Horrible image to have but trying not to think of things can be counter productive sometimes

Sorry you have had to go through that op. I cut my ds down from hanging on a twisted rope swing. Memory won't leave you, makes you cuddle your dc more ime....

Please don't worry about secondary drowning - they need to have nearly drowned for his to happen, not just to have been submerged for a minute. They do this to babies and kids on purpose at Waterbabies (DS hated it so we never did it but most of the kids in the class seemed totally unfazed).
I had a similar shock involving water when DS was about a year old and I felt ill all night. Be kind to yourself - he's fine.

Assume he's got armbands or equivalent on, if not would put them on him. Think its OK to go down slide just make sure an adult is at bottom of it. Doesn't take long for child to drown so its best to be as careful as possible until they can swim well.

Did he even splutter and get water up his nose? It wouldn’t occur to me to worry about the kids going underwater at the bottom of a slide momentarily. That’s normal with water slides.

You must have got a terrible fright and will be thinking of all the 'what ifs' of what could have happened. I've had similar panics where my DC has let go of my hand at the roadside or had near misses. It's natural (and horrible) to relive the moments and beat yourself up for making split second mistakes. All you can do is learn from them and move on but the worry and memory of what could have happened never really leave but fade over time. I think that's part and parcel of being a parent unfortunately!

My child did baby and toddler swimming and was regularly under water from 3/4 months old and he has never inhaled water.
At 22 mo when he jumped in I’d be there but not catch him. He’d go down then swim back up into my arms.
Very young children are probably better at being underwater than adults.

My 2 year old has been jumping into swimming pools from before he could walk. He always sinks to the bottom and then splutters to the top where I hold him. He loves it and must do it 20 times at least in our swimming lessons. Whilst it may have been frightening there really is no need to panic- you don’t need to catch him at the bottom of a slide- let him go under and learn to kick to the surface.

Welcome to the exciting world of parenting. He’s fine, you are traumatised...it’s going to keep happening like that for years.
Focus on the image of him coming up laughing, and plan ahead. He’ll do something completely different but equally terrifying next time.

It sounds like you have a child who is happy and not scared of water which a really great thing. Don't beat yourself up, be kind to yourself. My DD did classes as a baby and we were both going under and pushing off from the side and all sorts. Would doing some toddler swim classes help you to feel better? They teach your child to go under, kick and swim and hold on to the side etc. T might reassure you. One thing you can do in the bath is teach them to blow bubbles when under water so they don't try to breathe in. A great game to see how big the bubbles get!!

I agree with everyone saying not to worry.
DS did those baby/toddler swim classes and was getting dunked under water from months old.
At toddler age they'd jump in and we'd wait a few seconds before scooping them up (they eventually learnt to turn and grab on to the side)

Have a cup of tea and try to put it out of your mind. Easier said than done I knoe when they are little and give you a fright.

My son did swimming lessons from 12 weeks old and was encouraged to go under water as much as possible and not wear arm bands etc.
We went down slides at same age as your son and went under from time to time. He was fine try not to worry.

I totally get your response to this event. 18 years ago I accidentally dropped my child down a slide at a soft play area, he was around 14 months and not the least bothered but I was upset and to this day think About it even though he is a strapping big rugby player. I think it’s ptsd although not on a massive scale but just the what if.
Your post has reminded me and I’m going to talk to my friend who is a cbt practitioner to see if she can help.
I’d advise you to do the same now instead of ending up with this low lying thought I’ve been hunted with that my son can’t even remember and when I talk about it he thinks it’s hilarious.

The last time I took my DS swimming (He was nearly 2) we had booked a private pool for the hour as DS has SEN so wouldn't cope in a public pool.
DS got out and ran along the edge of the pool towards the deep end! My DP swam up to him at the edge and stupidly encouraged DS to jump in so DP could catch him, obviously overestimating how strong a swimmer he was, DP began to struggle swimming and supporting DS at the same time so just LET GO of DS and swam to the side!

I will never get the image out of my head of DS sinking under the water while DP went for the side.
Luckily I had already been making my way over to them as could see it was a very bad idea, so got to DS within seconds and he was fine. But I was so shaken and angry at DP that we left straight away and I rang 111 to put my mind at rest about secondary drowning.

Massive lesson learned for me about pool safety and how private pools without a lifeguard can be so dangerous.
Haven't plucked up the courage to take DS swimming again.

Oh you poor thing. He's absolutely fine, but that doesn't stop the images in your head. Try and change the end of the image to his wee face popping up smiling, like another poster was saying above (sound daft but that really works for me).

My wee brother - back in 19 oatcake - celebrated his first ever trip to the swimming baths in Aberdeen (aged 3) by running away from my mum and launching himself into the deep end at high speed. My mum said she v nearly actually shit herself. He was yanked out by a kindly surprised swimmer trying to do lengths. That haunted my mum for ages though.

Secondary drowning though - as the helpful poster above explained - that's not an issue here. x

A few months ago 4 year old dd nearly got run over because of my error. It kept going over and over in my mind. I felt so stressed. Within a couple of days I'd managed to stop ruminating on it.

Thank you everyone for your lovely replies you have made me feel so much better.