Motorway help - very nervous driver!

[VillageFete]

Hi,

I have to take my baby boy for an important medical appointment on Saturday morning and need to use the motorway to get there.
There’s no one else to take us or accompany us.

I’ll need to set off around 8am Saturday morning and the journey takes approx 1 hour 15 mins. I’ll be going up the M62.

To say i’m terrified is an understatement. I simply have no confidence motorway driving, i’m not aware of all these new rules with smart motorways and I hate driving to places if i’m not familiar with the road layout. How will I know what lane to be in?

I’m looking for tips regarding safe motorway driving, merging on, how to know when it’s safe to change lanes at such high speeds and what these new smart motorways entail.

Also, if I stay in the left lane and traffic is merging on, do I try to change lane to let them on?

Yes, I really am this nervous and incompetent

I think you will be fine and driving pretty easy, I would go with the M62 rather than any other route
However, if you do decide to go by train and taxi there are loads of taxis right outside the station and a taxi will cost around £5.
Marsh cars or Mount taxis are near the clinic for you to get a taxi back to the station

Regarding the East Lancs - I’ve driven on the Lancs many a time, but only as far as St Helens. I don’t mind dual carriageways at all. I just don’t know how sensible it is driving for 2 hours with my baby stuck in his car seat

Once you’ve mastered motorways Media city is easy to drive to as well, Jn12 of the M62 and then M602.

I live near the Trafford centre. There won't be a build up of traffic at 8.30/9.00 on a Saturday.

More sensible than driving on a busy motorway when you aren’t competent I’d say

@jaffacakebeast But I am competent. Well, I am when driving on “normal” roads. I observe speed limits, I keep my wits about me, I am courteous to other drivers.
I’ve driven on motorways before, but my trips on them are very infrequent, i’m not used to them, and so I was looking for guidance and advice from other, more experienced, motorway drivers so that I can be as careful as possible.

I know some of my questions are bizarre, and I do know the answers really, I know most of it is common sense, but i’m looking for it to be reinforced, I need reassurance.

I'm honestly not saying this in a nasty way OP as you sound like a lovely person. But I nearly died a couple of years ago in a car crash and if it had been caused by someone as nervous as you sound I'd be so, so, so sad they chose to drive that route.

My whole life has changed as a result so I know I'm over invested when it comes to driving safety but very nervous drivers tend to be distracted and preoccupied, making panicky decisions. I just want you, your little one and other drivers to be safe so I hope I don't sound like I'm having a go - not my intention.

Please don't risk other drivers safety and that of your passengers while you're this nervous. I'm not scaremongering - you absolutely should be driving on motorways comfortably when you're ready by your post makes it clear you are not ready as you are.

Please take some motorway driving lessons, they are brilliant and hugely confidence boosting. In the meantime I'd be taking public transport and a taxi at the other end, especially as little one might be distressed at some points and that's such a huge additional distraction - you're asking a lot of yourself in this situation.

Hope the appointment goes ok and sorry again if that sounded ranty, just conscious of safety

So sorry @VillageFete I missed this

I’ve managed to find a family friend to accompany me. He used to drive but doesn’t any more due to a health condition, but he was a confident driver for many years and often drove on motorways. I feel a bit better knowing I have someone else in the car with me now.

That's brilliant news well done, just don't push yourself too much if you really don't feel ready. Hope it goes ok

Agree try and do practice runs if possible at night when it's quiet on the motorway.
If you get on or come off at the wrong junction don't panic. As you said you have built in sat nav, just go back on.
If you get the wrong lane on a roundabout just go round and remember not to panic. Allow yourself extra time and you'll be fine! 😊

I mostly pootle about our rural lanes, a few dual carriageways etc but with a new job I found myself going up and down the A1 a lot (complete with the A1 /M1 merge in which noone knows what lane to be in). I've found that motorway traffic often goes in waves, so just be patient if it seems busy, know which junction you need to come off at, and stay left. Overtake using the middle lane and merge back left only after you've a clear view of the whole of the vehicle you've just passed in your mirror, if you see what I mean. Indicate always! Study the route, Google maps is excellent, maybe even write down the key junctions before you go. Signs and warnings on motorways are massive, and repeated, and count down markers tell you when a junction is coming up (three white \ on blue, then two then one). I usually signal left at the three lines to let people know I'm not bothering to overtake anyone slow (looking at you, caravan drivers). You asked about having to move over where junctions merge - yes, it's courteous to do so but only if it's safe to go in the middle lane (ie no one is blatting down it)
Run offs to join are usually long so the other car will have time to see if you can move over or not. It is honestly fine but it's good you have someone to go with you now.

Then stick to “normal” roads for your safety & everybody else’s. Motorway isn’t the only route for this appointment. There is nothing stopping u gettin lesson on the motorway after this trip, I don’t mean to sound so horrible, I also don’t enjoy driving in some circumstances ‘big cities and rush hour’ But I’m competent. I wouldn’t even attempt it if I didn’t know the rules of the road 😬 I think from the questions you’ve asked you have no business being on a motorway

@ThatCurlyGirl I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been through that. I totally appreciate and respect what you are saying, so much so that i’ve txt one of the school mum’s who is a driving instructor and asked her to book me in for pass plus asap. I know this can’t go on. I often have some work pop up in Manchester and will go all round the houses on public transport when I could jump in the car for 45 mins. For what it’s worth i’m a really careful and confident driver when i’m driving around my own City and the outskirts.

I’ve not long had a baby and I think my hormones are playing a part in my anxiety. Plus he’s not very well in himself and I really need to get him to this appointment. I’m just not in a great place at the minute so probably massively overthinking things.

Ah that's great @VillageFete your reply made me well up as my injuries have flared up tonight so I'm feeling a bit delicate! And sorry again if I came across harsh it's lovely to hear you say you'll do pass plus

So anyway, thank you from me and from an imaginary future person who might not have to go through an accident now because there will be one more confident and super safe driver on the roads and one less nervous panicky one.

Well done OP

@ThatCurlyGirl Not harsh at all. You sound like a truly lovely person and I needed to hear what you said. Pass plus here I come Just a shame I can’t do it before Saturday. I hope you’re feeling better soon. X

I’m totally with you on this one OP, I worry about being in the wrong lane too.
I found my sat-nav to be a massive help. Can you get a sat-nav before Saturday?
Keep telling yourself “I’ve got this” and “I can do this” out loud, it’s strangely reassuring.
Best of luck, you have got this.

You will be FINE.
a) it's a very quiet time early on a Saturday
b) there are not that many lorries
c) all the idiots are still in bed.

I suggest keep your speed up to 60-65 and stay largely in the left hand lane. Your Sat Nav will give you plenty of notice when to turn off, but just in case make a mental note of the number of the motorway junction you need to come off at and you can count up/down as you pass the signs for the other junctions (the number is on the bottom of the sign).

sorry wasn't meant to post till I'd finished.
The final thing you CAN do is look on Google Earth, and zoom in to the road, and 'drive' along the tricky bits like coming off at the junction, do you exit to a roundabout, which lane do you need etc.
Also at the other end, where do you turn off, where do you park. Have a good look on Google and it'll then seem familiar when you actually get there,

Currently sitting on Google directions zooming in and I really think I can do this with some confidence. It’s just straight really isn’t it?

I’ve driven to Preston multiple times (In the past, about 9 years ago!) and I think that seemed more difficult as I had to get on to the M6.

I would be more worried after coming off the motorway and finding the way to where you are going in Huddersfield.

crimson if you read the thread you will see that it’s very easy for her to get where she needs to be from the motorway exit

Google maps on your phone is an excellent sat nav, gives you plenty of warning of lane changes.

I used to be like you, and still get anxious but the thought of doing it is always worse than the actual drive. Just leave in plenty of time and don’t feel pressured into driving faster than you are comfortable with. I’m sure it’ll be fairly quiet at that time on a Saturday morning. You’ll be fine.

Street view is amazing for orientating yourself with each junction. We had to go to a function recently and would definitely have taken wrong turnings if I hadn't looked at street view first and spotted things like pubs and shop signs where turnings were.

People with the OP’s attitude eventually make good drivers. I’m more worried about

• the inexperienced but over confident
• the impatient, inconsiderate & careless
• the arrogant narcissistic tossers
• general knob heads or silly bitches

None of these people are likely to start threads asking for critiques if their driving, but would benefit the most!

Of not if