21st birthday gift suggestions for nephew please

[Rosemary46]

He’s a student, I have no idea what his interests are and his parents (when asked ) responded with the usual polite “ You don’t have to get him anything”.

A quick look at his social media reveals all the usual student activities of partying and partying.

I asked 20yo DD who gave me a long list of what she and her female friends would like - Lush toiletries, pretty stationary, a pandora bracelet.

She also added helpfully “ Not cash, that’s so lazy”.

Now I’m stuck.

A nice whiskey/gin/shot glass set?

But tbh cash for a student is very very well received. Think your dd was considering her own preferences. Boys don’t care about the sentiment of thinking about and buying a gift to open

Do him a hamper of food and alcohol maybe?

That’s interesting about the cash. Because 16yo DS immediately said the same - give him money.

In fact what he actually said was

“ What kind of saddo wants a family party for his 21st rather than a party for all his mates ? He’s obviously planning a holiday and needs the cash “.

I’d assumed DS was a money grabbing cynic. Well in fact I know he is.

Links silver cufflinks with his initials on, something for him to keep.

I didn’t think anyone under 50 wore cufflinks now ( apart from my DP). Are they still a thing ?

Money. What student doesn't want money?

Nice things to keep are all very well if they're actually going to like them/ever use or wear them/not lose or break them.

If it’s money, how much do you think I should give ?

My dh and bro both wear cuff links (albeit not everyday) would use occasionally if they had. Db also had couple of nice engraved pens for his 18/21 (more useful than multiple hip flasks)

Cash .. my DS recently celebrated his 18th birthday, the only thing he wanted was cash. He was given a couple of ‘keep sake’ type gifts and obviously graciously said thank you, but they were honestly not appreciated.

Ragwort - any suggestions on how much money to give ? I really have no idea what’s the done thing.

I think people who say he won’t appreciate a keepsake kind of gift are right. When he was younger I always gave toys / books at Christmas / birthdays and they were tossed aside with only a small pretence at a thank you.

I got between £25 to £100 from relatives for my 21st, it really depends on your finances and also bear in mind if you gave him an expensive present for his 18th and also if you would give the same to his siblings/other cousins for their 21st birthdays.

Weekend away with mate (set budget!)

I have a relative £60 in a cheap primark purse for her 21st recently as there was nothing she was after in particular.

What's your budget?

I think the hip flask is a good idea, good for sneaking vodka into pubs!

A nice bottle of booze? Something different from what he would normally drink. I got a bottle of Fireball for my DN for Xmas which went down well.

www.amazon.co.uk/d/Liqueurs/Fireball-Cinnamon-Whisky-Liqueur-70/B004CYZ7ZI?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Some kind of nice photobook of childhood memories?

A cocktail making kit with a recipe book?

I got DN a slow cooker for his 21st, he asked for it though since he stays away from home for his apprenticeship. He's not used it 3 months on.

£50

Premium bonds?

@LynetteScavo what's a premium bond????

@andpeggy1 I don't mean to sound pissy, but it's probably easier for you to Google than me to explain.

They're a way of saving money (without interest
!) but you can also win money, like playing the lottery without having to remember to buy a ticket.

@LynetteScavo I did google it, but I didn't find the answer very clear or concise. Sometimes it's just helpful to have a human answer. Hence why I asked. Sorry I don't mean to sound pissy but I know how google works

It’s a bit like having a permanent lottery ticket . You don’t get interest on the £50 but you have a chance of winning cash prizes .

Something he can experience.

Indoor skydiving
Zorbing
Parachute jump
Racetrack day
Chocolate workshop
Bookbinding course
etc - according to his interests.

Something he will remember, not just something he will consume.

Money, Amazon voucher. Though a bottle of whiskey if he drinks it makes a great present (not too expensive, most students would prefer 2 cheaper bottles!)

Photo album is a thoughtful suggestion which I might use for my own kids. But it wouldn’t work with d Nephew as I hardly ever see him. Since he went to uni he rarely comes to family events, I don’t think I’ve spoken to him in 4 years.

Even when he was younger, when we went to his house he spent the time locked in his bedroom, even though he is the same age as all the other cousins, so lots of other kids to play with.

When he came here with his family, he sulked on the sofa with his Ninetendo DS ( no smart phones then ) and refused to play with mine. They understandably don’t like him - my 20 yo has made up an excuse not to go to his 21st because he thinks he’s rude and stuck up. My younger kids are only going because they want to see the other cousins, not birthday boy.

My brother ( his father ) makes zero effort at social events and we would never see them at all if it wasn’t for SIL ( bless her).

So we are not close at all. Otherwise I would probably know what to get him without having to start a thread!

I appreciate all your suggestions, thank you.

I checked out the premium bonds as I liked that idea.

But they can only be bought for another adult if you have Power of attorney. And only parents, grandparents and great grandparents can buy for a child under 16. And it takes 4 weeks.

Just thought I’d mention that FYI.