School gate Mums

[SuperMam123]

Hi everyone, I'm looking for a bit of advice. There are a group of women at the school gates who I seem to be popular with but I don't know why and I hate it. It was never my intention to make friends with other parents because I like to keep myself to myself. I have noticed that these women are bitchy, childish, jealous, nosy and I don't really like them. I feel like I can't get away from them, if it's not at the school gate they wait for me to walk home. One invites herself to my home regularly which I always decline. Invites for coffee, nights out, meals, day trips in the school holidays all of which I decline. They don't seem to be getting the message. We have a school Facebook account which they regularly message me via. What can I do to rid myself of these women? I know I might sound nasty but I'm not a sociable person and I don't like making friends; it's just the way I am. I don't mind a chat at the gates but not walking home with each other, all the personal questions and the rest of it I don't want to get to know them and I don't want them to get to know me. I like being left alone. I don't want to be rude or cause offence because I have to see these people most days for the next 6 years but I don't want it to go any further. I wish I'd just kept my head down and never bothered engaging in conversation. I know how I'm coming across but, ultimately, I just don't want to be involved in their clique or the playground politics.

Just keep on declining invites. Get to school at the last minute, talk to your kids so you don't have to talk to anyone else. It's really not difficult? Or just pass the time of day, make small talk, without becoming close. I think you're making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be.

Just carry on what you're doing. I'd eventually get the hint.

Are your dcs all friends then? I got stuck with walking home with a woman because we walked the same way and the dcs were friends. I saw it as facilitating their friendship even though it was a pain.

You don't have to answer personal questions. Deflect them or change the subject or chat with the dcs asking them about their day etc.

If you really can't bear it then find another route to walk or say you want to walk with your dc alone because you like to spend the school runs chatting with them. Arrive at school just as the bell goes, headphones in and engrossed on your phone. After a while they will get the message.

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends Thanks for replying, that's some useful advice. No, they aren't all friends. My dc is only friends with one of the children and that's not the one we have got stuck walking home with. I started going to the school library before walking home to try and get around it that way but she started coming with us. I know I sound dramatic but I've started to dread going to school and I dread what the conversation will be about. My ds's friend's parents aren't part of this clique and I fear that they think I'm one of these bitchy parents. I'm usually one of the first there which is how I ended up chatting with these women in the first place, small talk at first then it turned into something I'm not comfortable with. I'll have to change to being last minute instead. There's much more I could say about these women and the situation but I'd be here all night. The one lady I do like started getting into trouble with one of these other mothers if she talked to me without her. I was going into town and she was too so we walked together and she asked me to go for a coffee. The other mother rang her so she told her what we were doing. At school pick up this other mother wouldn't speak and was sulking. The lady I like asked what was wrong and in front of everyone she said 'You two going off for coffee, we have been friends longer' then tried to act like she was joking and all the rest laughed. I felt awful, like I'd done something wrong in going for a coffee with her so I stopped it off immediately.